twogood24u

Well All update.....its all over....no more contact with ex

Well We went out alone last night for the first time since the breakup.....we went and watched a show and then I took her out for dinner. The first part of the evening was definitely a little akward but then we both warmed up I suppose. There was nothing physical that happened at all I took the advice on here and didnt initiate a move at all but there was a lot of conversations nothing about the breakup or anything like that though just old memories etc. One thing I found weird though Is she kept saying things like oh I dont do anything anymore and I dont date etc. she must have broughten it up about 6 times how she isnt dating anybody and all she does is sit at home. She also brought up weird things like me dating or having a girlfriend although she didnt ask me flat out If I did or If I was dating.....she would say things like oh are you going to get in trouble for coming out with me tonite by someone, and stuff like that. I kept changing the subject when she brought that up cause I didnt know whta top ay> Why would she keep saying stuff like that - I mean If you broke up with someone wouldnt you want them to think your having fun not sitting at home ? and why say things about me dating and having a girlfriend ? exspecially when you keep telling me you have neither. Is this a test of sorts or what? Is it weird to not at least get a hug or something or what ? cause I mean the only thing we had in our relationship before was sex pretty much so whats up with that? All or any advice will help thanks......twogood

Hey heres another stupid question for anyone to answer.......What do you do for an ex on valentines day ? (in my situation). Phone call, rose ? (probably scare her off considering I never did that before) Any advice would help I know its kinda early but Its better to figure out what im going to do now........... thanks twogood

Thank you for the advice. Also I need help with one more thing.....In the past 2 months that we have been broken up its always me thats asking her to do things ie go out together with the kid etc. Although she calls me all the time she never asks me to go do anything as I will call her to go out for lunch etc. Should I stop doing this do you think Im bothering her or what ( I know the relationship went wrong for the things I did) but even though I have changed should I still chase her or what. When do you know to draw the line????? I dont want her to think Im desperate or clingy what should I do???? thnks twogood

littlelaxer....she was the one who left me....also ur right I have no idea whats going on in her head ( lol)

Me and my ex have hung around quite a few times together now with the kid we also have a night planned together alone......the first few times we have hung out its been akwrad ( we have been broken up for a month and a half) Although we talk quite a bit ( not a word about us the past or the relationship) I want to bring a couple things up but she left me so I dont think its a good idea ( i think maybe Ill just let her see how much I have changed ?) We have never touched held hands or even hugged anyways with this alone night should I make the first move or let her or what ( i dont mean have sex with her I know that wouldnt happen I just mean holdingher hand or sumthin). Anyways any advice for this will be well apreciated............thnks twogood

well I have now been out with her a bit more we have met up for breakfast a few times, i have taking her shopping and out for lunch a nd we have a day planned for just the two of us (babysitter for the son) in Feb. Now she definitely seems like she has warmed up not too much akwardness anymore. Our relationship has not come up once ( im smart enough to let her bring it up if she wants-she left me) She will now walk closer to me and sit beside me but nothing physical at all no hugs or nothing. Now im the one thats always asking her to do things ie. breakfast shopping etc. although she will call me...am i chasing after her to much or what? She had some good reasons for leaving me and im just trying to show her that I have changed. Anyone have some advice or input here anything wil help ( also keep in mind nc will not work to well cause we have a son I pick up oncea week)

The last time I talkd to her she said she would give me a call when she got back from her vacation.........well she called me on sat. we talked for a while she told me she got back on thursday.....Is it a bit weird she didnt call me on new years??? or am i reading to much into it ??

when we go out we bring him with us......I now an old friend of hers has wanted her real bad for a long time but she told my mom he wasnt her type she wanted someone that was a cross between me and him lol

Well the weird thing is is before I wasnt there for my son I was always working etc...I spend more time with him now then I did before because I got my priorities straightened out ( of course after she left).

My ex is really confusing me how do u tell if they want you back or if they just want to be friends. We have been going out for 3 years living together for 2 and a half of those years and have a 8 month old son together ( read previous posts for more info) we have now been broken up for 1 month and a week. Im 23 and she is 21. We have meet up together about 3 times since this....the first time the night we had planned got sold out so we called it a night and I dropped her off at home....the second time we went out with our son for a couple hours...and the third time we had a blast. We have had many more plans to do as a family but my work has been keeping me from doing some of them. When we go out together she wont walk close to me but also not far away....when we make eye contact she will look at me for a second and then look away......also when it comes to our goodbyes they are pretty akward no hugs or anything from her just a quick goodbye and with a blink of the eye shes gone out of the car......now the last time we meet up im pretty sure I could have gotten a hug or something but I just said a quick goodbye and jumped out of her car. Also shes always bringing up things that she bought for me (like a shirt etc) or she will say oy yeah remember when we did this things like that....but nothing about the relationship or why she left etc. I also noticed when we go out shes constantly checking her cell phone. Shes also usually calling me at least every 2 days.....if not more. And text messaging me. Also she still talks to my mother and when they get to talking about me my mom will say isnt it too soon for u guys to be hanging out and the ex will say no because this time I dont want him back...or this was the last time etc etc. Now I have been playing it very confident no begging or bringing up anything to do with the 2 of us. I just go out and have fun. What do u guys think u see a chance here or is she playing me for a fool.Also I cant do the NC thing because we do have a son. Any advice on how to win her back or what to do here will be appreciated.......thnks

Well all its been a month since my ex left me (read previous posts for the story)....we still talk occasionaly and I see her on sundays to pick up my son.....the first three weeks of this breakup where horrible I couldnt eat sleep or work I did everything except beg for her back.......Well now I feel a hell of a lot better...For all those whose significant others left them I know what ur going through but toughen up and stick it out put thought into your self rather then them, work out make sure you keep yourself busy......and no matter what dont beg for them back. Instead of dwelling in the past I cant wait for the new year and a new beggining.........good luck and merry christmas all.

Hello all me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me....we had been together through these years off and on and been through many things.....well she left me again 3 weeks ago ( keep in mind we have a son- 8 months old) she never explained or said anything to me at all about it we just both got mad and packed her stuff and left...she has done this about 6 times before........well heres the problem.....I still love her i dunno if she feels the same...in our relationship we never did anything together i think in 3 years we went out to dinner maybe 3 times.....we now I have my license back so I can suggest to do these things....so the other day I met her at the mall pretty akward she didnt say much and she seemed kinda distant and upset.....then I told her we should take our son on a christmas train ride.......she agreed and away we went she seemed to talk a lot more but she still didnt walk close to me or anything like that.....now I just suggested going to seatlle this weekend with our son and she has agreed....but how do I know If she has feelings for me....I mean I have no closure or anything we havent talked about the breakup at all......she brings up things about the past all the time like you remember this or that etc.......but nothing about the breakup....i do love this girl and I want to be much more then her friend should I keep on suggesting going out to places like this and doing things.....(keep in mind i never did this stuff before)....she seems uncomfortable around me like when I dropped her off I got her stuff out of the trunk then I went to close it and when I turned around she was gone...lol........what should I watch for how should I play this....all advice will help....thanks all

Well I met up with the ex @ the mall last nite to get pics with santa for our son....after that we went wondering around the mall for an hour then parted ways......it felt really akward lol although I was bieng as polite and cheerfull as I could be....she had a strange look in her eyes like she was really sad or miserable....I tried cracking some jokes etc....but that didnt work either.......one thing I did notice is that while we where walking she always walked pretty close to me........Then I asked her If she wanted to go on a train ride with me and my son berfore I left....I figured she would say sure next week nope she wants to go tomm night....my question is whats up with the upset beahviour......also why after I saw her or when I talk to her she always calls my mom to talk to her and then she makes sure she says "we will never get back together" she says that every time she talks to her.......if she didnt want anything at all why would she want to meet me again right away????....also what are some other things I can go out and do with her and my son anyone got any ideas??....

Well me and her are still talking on the phone although it still seems she doesnt want to get back together......I havent asked any questions yet and she hasnt givin any answeres as too why she left......she still talks to me like nothing happened......anyways I got asked out on a date by a very attractive girl.....Is there anything wrong with going out on a date?????

Well for the first week of the breakup we didnt talk all that much although we did work out a day for me to take my son.....( last sunday).....but during this week she has called me quite a few times.....I didnt want to suggest counselling because right now I can tell she doesnt want a relationship with me.......but Its funny she doesnt want to be with me but when she calls and I dont answer she calls like crazy....we have talked on the phone a few times this week.... alot of akward silences....and always me ending the convos......Its funny though she makes up excuses to call me like which day our you taking our son and she calls my mom to see what Im up too are talk about me....but we have already discussed that I take him on sunday.....funny things like that....still not a word about the breakup our anything on the phone....she talks almost as if nothing happened....... Im not going to bring it up I know she will when shes ready....but Im looking forward to tomm ( I get to see my son for the day again)....even though its only been two weeks since the breakup I feel like a new person right now works going twice as good, after 2 years I finally got my license back along with a new car and im actually managing to save some money...wow....well Ill be talking to her today agian and picking my son up tomm....I will give another update tomm night.......

Also If someone can answer this question....I have been reading about the NC rule....whats this all about...what kind of rules are involved in this.

She left on Sunday......She called me yesterday (monday) she was totally calm as if nothing had happened.... supposedly she was calling me to tell me when her stepdad was coming to pick up her table... then she said she wouldnt hold my son from me and she thought that I would still make a great dad....there was a lot of silence in between as If she was waiting for me to say something else.......She then said she said a lot of mean things which she didnt mean.....she asked about work and where I was.....I was just on my way out so I said I had to go and I was busy till wednesday she said she might call me after 8 then.

Unfortunatley I still love her......Apparently she keeps telling everyone including my mother today how she will never get back together with me....but then she asks a bunch of questions about what im doing.I want to call her but I know I should wait.....but how long how long is too long and what not....chris

Apparently I have heard shes a lot happier now ( its been 2 days since the vreakup) and really doesnt want anything to do with me.....Is it better to wait to suggest the counseling....or is that idea just going to stir up the pot. Also I was her first love, and she lost her virginity to me.........maybe she wants to experience things with different guys???

First of all I will tell a little of the history between is...We have been together for 4 years off and on. We also have a 7 month old son together. We meet each other fell in love and moved in together 4 months later. Im 23 and she is 20. In the first 2 years we where together we started off really happy in a house together. Then we would get into arguments up stupid little things, she would fly off the handle call her parents pack all her stuff and move back in with her dad. A couple times she hit me and broke a lamp on my head and threatened me with stupid things. Then 2 weeks later she would move back in. This routine happened about 5 times. About 5 months ago she then basically moved back in with me at my parents house. We got into another argument about me drinking to much, me having friends she didnt like, and not spending enough time together. So once again she packed everything up no talking or nothing and left. So we didnt talk for a month I then beged for her to come back I told her that I would change and we ended up together again ( keep in mind we have a newborn son during all this). Well I did a complete 180 in life I quite drinking, dropped all my friends, and got a good job and became a good father. We then move back in together well I thought everything was going fine. Until a week ago I decided to go visit my brother. I came home she told me she was going to leave me because she was miserable ( post partum?) and she was generally angry with everything. Well I asked her what she was so angry about and she could only come up with me throwing my shirts on the floor and leaving my shoes by the door instead of putting them away. She also said that I go out too much on my own which I like to call my alone time. Keep in mind I go out tihout her about 1 tiome every 2 weeks. She tells me that going to work should be my alone time. So we talked and worked everything out. So On Sat. I tell her Im going to go visit my brother she starts screamin about how I made my choice and that was it it was over. She then told me if I left she would call the cops and charge me with abuse ( which I have never hit her) so I would get arrested, I got pissed of and left but I came back 2 hours later. She was still mad that I went she was throwing things and yelling she then said she was leaving in the morning. I got up and went to my dads. I got a phonecall from her saying she had moved out and then she hung up. Well I heard from her friend that she told her mom we broke up because I didnt want to settle down and all i wanted to do was party. She told my mom that she left because she thought we where both miserable together and would be happier apart. And that we would never get back together again no more chances. We have talked a few times before it seems that she only fights with me when I go out on my own. She dislikes my father and every time I visit him its a fight waiting to happen. She goes out whenever she wans without even telling me I trust her so i dont call her or anything like that. Well If I go out I have to make an appointment too basically a week before. If she goes out and Im home bored waiting for her so I decide to go out for a bit she freaks out. So too finish this long story once again shes gone no explanation to me about anything, although she call me the day after she moved and said she wouldnt keep my son from me....she asked me a couple questions about where I was and what I was doing. I didnt want to bring anything up so I answered her questions then we got off the phone. I dont drink I rarely go out and I think Im prett damned good to her. I cant see how she thought we where miserable. What should I do, I dont want to call her and beg for her back I did that last time....Im still going to have to see her to visit my son. Should I bring anything up. Should I just let it go. I dont know what too do at this point I mean we didnt even talk about anything before she left ( like always). Am I witha phscyho or what? Please help CHRIS