Quiet_gemini

I believe in it too! Perhaps not a feeling of 'this is the one', but an instant connection, followed by a life time figure out why...

Thanks! Even thought i know this, it's good to hear... Day light savings time, I loose a freakin hours of sun!!!!!! So, really it doens't affect the break up, just my overall mood... And hunni, i believe in fate as well, and everything always works out for the best....you just have to have faith. Oh, and yeah i told her how i felt in clear terms a few times, and she even said she felt/was thinking the same things...and you know what - it's just weird, i mean i'm 25, put my self thought school, own my own business, have a good job and am working on my third house (all on my own), and I don't have a problem initially attracting women...but if you want to love, you have to accept you'll be hurt...and in the end, the hurt will make it all the sweeter (i keep telling myself this).

OK, well even thought this is my own post, i'll add a short story. What made my break up a little worse was this stupid weather change (day light savings time). Anyways, so after she kept calling, though not wanting to date anymore, i texted her and said that was OK - since then, no contact, i've been tempted to call, but Noooo. So, today i woke up, in a little dispair only to find that i've gotten a 'smile' and letter on Lava (a little hope), an old friend wants to go for coffee, and a girl i dated, that i liked, though which never amounted to much, emailed me, asking me how i was doing... Now, i know none of this is very significant, (though the girl from lavalife later gave me a call...), but i think it's the universe's way of saying i did the right thing...Actually, i think, in the few moments of clarity that follow a break up, if you look, you will see signs that indicate you did the write (or wrong perhaps) thing.

Hi there (i have to say this is a GREAT site). So, i've had my share of relationships, both long and short. I'm happy being single when it happens...not really the dependant type. And none of my past relationships were with anyone i thought 'could be the one'. Then i meet a girl and she was the first one who i thought 'could be the one'...needless to say it didn't work out (she called it off...) i know not to try and figure it out, and although she'd like to stay in contact, i won't (it's what i need to heal), but i admit i'm a little worried that i may not find that again... ...tell me your stories of find it again...(pls), afther you thought you had found it... Thanks, Matt.

Hey LP, your thoughts are true, i only think (and hope i guess! lol) that there are things you can do to help your self along. I go out a little more when i can if i'm recovering, also i find with every breakup, it gets a little easier. But there is a time, when no matter what i do, i feel that she is the ONLY person that will make me feel complete, then i realize that I'M the only one which i should need to make me feel complete. Then when i go out, even if i meet someone who has ONE quality that i admire enough to get my mind off of the ex, it helps... I just think that the grieving period can be helped...i know closure for me also is a major thing, helps me a lot.

This is an interesting topic...do you guys and gals think it's possible to speed up the greiving process? I mean if there's a point when it becomes 'too long' then why can't we shorten it? I've learned that allowing myself to be sad, instead of just trying not to think of them, helps...i honestly end up getting tired of thinking of them and then when i do miss them, it's just that, only missing them, i'm no longer grieving...

Hey dude, i hear you. Follow the adivce of those above, keep her out of your life. I'm going through a similar situation, girl wanted boy, boy wanted girl, girl changed mind, only wants to be friends (albeit, close friends that talk ALL THE TIME), i had to tell her no more phone calls...it's just too painful, and keeps giving me hope...so no more... Do as i did dude, in the long run, it'll make it easier...and as you said, it's just another bump...the road will end one day soon.

I just found this board (whilst looking for advice and getting through a break up!), it's a great support and resource... Congrats on 44 days. Sometimes we have to find closure from within... I hear you on the holiday thing, it won't be an easy time for many of us here i'm sure. But I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason... Good Luck, Matt.