lucy9089

My friend has IBS and is bipolar, she also has/had an eating disorder. Another distant friend of ours has IBS and the eating disorder; I don't know her well enough to know if she is bipolar. I am 99% sure that the eating disorder and the possibly consequent IBS has a strong correlation to the Bipolar personality. This is after reading this book about genetics and personality, I forget what its called, something like "genes matter more than you think" but the Author's name is Dean Hamer, and he says that this has to do with the type of seratonin gene that they have. It is so interesting, I recommend you read that chapter on seratonin, and see how many traits it is linked to it. I don't know if he mentions IBS but I definitely think it is linked to seratonin imbalances which is the driving force behind bipolar. My friend says that when she is constipated she feels the low like she doesn't want to leave the house, or when she is happy she gets the diarrhea.......... so interesting... As far as the overactive thyroid, I have no idea, I am curious as why you are asking this question. Is this a school report? Or do you have experience with someone who has these 3 things?

Okay, I did only focus on the negative things, for the point of getting advice but I feel that I should mention the positive to give people an idea of why I'm in this relationship. Well to start I really do not like guys my own age, not to be discriminatory, I suppose its possible for me to develop a crush on someone my own age. I also see it as a risky behavior. I feel that guys my own age don't have the value of intimacy, so thereforeeee they may think they want a relationship, but later change their mind. I don't want that kind of insecurity. My boyfriend has had probably 6-10 intimate relationships, and the more recent ex's have left him, or cheated on him, rather than Vis versa, which leads me to believe that he definitely wants an intimate relationship. He, like I, feel most comfortable and satisfied when we are in intimate relationships. So that is the main reason, security, the other reason is access to an older brain; he understands most things that I tell him. We can talk about interesting things like politics or psychology or we can talk about emotions. All my past partners could never talk about emotions or were not comfortable with them; they were all my age. I could never go back to that. Anyways so I guess the main thing that I am wondering is, do all of these things that I love about him necessarily go along with the possessiveness and forcefulness? And if they don't have to go along with each other, what can I do to help him change his negative behaviors. I was glad to get some feedback from the poster who was more on his side, telling me I have to stop letting guys flirt with me, but I need more details on how to do that, besides just being scared to talk to the opposite sex. Oh I also wanted to say that he is open to changing for me. When I am truly sad about something (probably crying) he is more than willing to apologies and make me feel better. It's just that when he is upset he like sort of lectures me, and it's very hard for me to care, when I just feel like escaping. I want to know how I can get him to snap out of these moods as soon as possible. Besides saying "im sorry, your right, im sorry your right..." and not really meaning it. THANKS AGAIN TO ALL OUT THERE WILLING TO HELP! -Lucy

My boyfriend is 33 and I am 19, and I'm wondering if some of the aspects of our relationship are related to age. Umm... For example he gives me advice and helps me grow, but I don't feel like I ever help him with his issues and I consequently have some feelings of guilt, or undeservingness. I just feel really lucky to be with him. Where he probably feels like I need to change to make him happy, rather than feeling lucky to be with me too. I guess I "let guys hit on me", I think I am getting better about that, its just hard to restrict friendliness, especially when you don't see the harm in being friendly and he does. He feels I am pretty clueless about male motivations, I feel like he is over-reacting, and I feel resentful for having to act super-serious, having to act like I hate all men besides him. Actually I feel like he over-reacts a lot and he treats me like a child sometimes, and talks to me like I'm stupid, and I just stare out the window and tune him out. And then he just demands me to talk, and these situations hardly ever really get resolved These are just a few aspects/dysfunctions in our relationships and I want to know the following: Are these things related to age or personality type? Do you have examples perhaps from your own lives of being in a relationship like this? Was it related to age? Did these relationships last? What do you think about these types of problems, is there a solution that you know of, that I don't? If you know what I can do to get better results from this relationship I swear I'll be open-minded. I'm into psychology; so feel free to tie in my relationship with any of the psychological theories. THANKS SO MUCH TO ANYONE WHO REPLYS TO THIS POST! -Lucy

I am 19 dating a 33 year old and I would never leave him out of the blue, or at least I very strongly believe that I would never do that. Im in a relationship because I want a partner, not because its the thing to do, or because I need to forfill my ego, or whatever reason that I can't even comprehend, why these girls would leave out of the blue. I want a best friend, someone who knows me well, I want someone I can rely on when I need help. I want someone to have sex with. If I don't have an intimate relationship, how am I ever going to get that stuff? I guess there are substitues, but it is a lot easier to have certain needs fufilled when you have an intimate relationship. I don't see any reason to leave this relationship. There are times when we clash and I threaten to leave, or I cry in pain, but they are superficial problems. My boyfriend wants all the things that I want in a relationship so he is always willing to hear my pain and adapt, and I do the same for him. Well who knows if I really am one of those 20-something boyfriend dumbers, All I know is that I strongly believe that I'm not. Do you think I sound the same or different from these girls who left you?

Is your ex-boyfriend a lot older/younger than you? Or do you have lots of interests that don't intersect? Would you say you or him was more emotionally mature? If you could answer these questions I might be able to provide you with some insight.

Before I start, I want to say that I don't think any of your personality is bad, there are just certain elements that put certain people off, in certain situations. Given that you want to change, heres my advise... I have been around people who are kind of like you, girls who are thinkers (which is kind of rare because most girls are feelers). I feel like your personality type tends to be a little elitist, meaning you come off as like you know more than someone else, sometimes I do that and I have to tell myself to hold in my opinions for the sake of having friends, instead of telling someone "how it is" try like slowly opening their minds, like saying something like "is it possible that what I am saying could be true?" that will get people to really think about what your messages are instead of being put off by your "scariness". Even if you know in your heart that you are right, sometimes it is better to keep it to yourself, or to write in a journal, and watch as people come to their own conclusions. Gently persuade them, and don't tell them "how it is" unless they ask your opinion. Basically I feel like you are a very blunt save the bullshi*t kind of girl, and many other people especially females don't like that, and stick with the humor thing if it makes people happy, that can act as a counter weight to your save the (PROFANITY DELETED BY MODERATOR) kind of attitude. Oh and please don't listen to those people who say you are "intimidating" unless they actually have their own ideas for how you can change that. I hope somewhere in my mess of words you got something out of what I was saying, and if I misjudged you please tell me