lunatic

OK look I have stopped an ex girlfriend from leaving my house so I could talk to her about the situation. I grabbed her and spun her around into a wall. I was so mad and I wanted to do more but, I came to my senses and let her leave after something I did which I WILL not put up here and no I did not hit her but, I did some stupid things I am still not proud of.

I hated myself for doing that to her and I vowed to never do it again. To this day I have never raised my hand to a woman. I was even assaulted myself with a crazy woman kicking, punching, biting, gouging my skin with her nails. I remained composed enough to NOT hit her back even though it would have been considered self defense.

So with that said I can tell you that someone can change the monster without counselling. I did it all on my own and to this day if I get mad I walk away. It is not worth giving into your most basic urges. I like to walk away and cool off a bit so I can think it out rationally.

So cut the guy some slack as I can see he is already upset at himself and ashamed already.

Lonely if I were you I would walk away from her and go for a walk or drive for a while to cool off. Then when you calm down you can go talk it out like adults. Remember keeping ones cool is a huge responsibility and you MUST NOT raise your hand to any woman ever again.

Ok now that makes more sense. Thats why when I posted mine I explained why I felt that way and the reasons why.

Ok......NOT to downplay what the poster did...because hitting IS wrong regardless....but he said she hit him in the testies....and it SOUNDS to me like it was a knee jerk reaction. I don;t have testies..but I have heard it'd PRETTY painful getting hit there.

 

It sounds like you are remorseful..and I hope you have learned your lesson.

Perhaps your g/f would go to couples counseling with you?

I think it could benefit you both..and help you diffuse these fights...and learn to communicate more effectively.

 

I would also advise anger management classes. it couldn't hurt.

OK I agree with Lady on this one. It does not make it better to hit her but, it probably was a knee jerk reaction once she nailed him in the nut. YES THAT HURTS REALLY BADLY LADIES!!

It does not excuse his action as he should have used more restraint but, you cannot change what happened now. You need to come to terms with yourself and then forgive yourself for this indiscretion.

disappointed

heartbroken

lyed to

cheated on

unloved

anger

waste of time

anger

sadness

 

male dumpee

WOW you listed anger twice! I hope that was on purpose!

I will do my last long term relationship.

Male Dumpee

Disgust (at her and how she could bring another man into her home so quickly (2 weeks later he moved into my apartment) when she has little children)

angst(I am still sore at what she did to me)

Jealousy (she left me with $30,000 in debt and 10 months later she inherits over $750,000)

Anger(She never paid me off or even offered to help me. She threated me with legal action that I could not afford if I persued the money she owed me)

happiness(I am no longer with her)

Personally I think you are over reacting to this but, that is my opinion. I could understand if he wanted to cum on your face or something like a pornstar but, he shot on your back. Sometimes I have to admit that finishing up in a condom is not as pleasurable as finishing myself outside the vagina without to condom.

I would recommend you talk to your guy and have a discussion about this. Since it bothers you so much I would recommend communication. It is not worth getting yourself sick over this when there is an easy way to resolve this.

I totally agree with Scout all the way. I am really surprised that she freaked out on a suggestion that she made to you. *sigh*

Look at it this way... If she freaked out on something this small and insignificant then you are way better off. I mean how could she accuse you of cheating if you had no physical or sexual contact???

If she cannot see things from your point of view then she is not worth your time because it will happen again and she will be fast to pull the plug on the relationship. Maybe there is another guy she is interested in and is using this as an excuse to end things with you. While taking the guilt out of her hurting you by making you a scape goat.

shallow, eh, well... i'm sure i'll eventually find her

You are not shallow. I was teasing you about the list you posted. If that is the way you feel then that's what you feel. There is no changing what your attracted to as beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

HOLY COW!!!! Are you sure that she exists???? If so let me know where so I can find one like that myself.

Hope I think your missing a small but significant piece of the puzzle here. I think he is mad that she lied to him about how many partners she had in the past. I know if someone lied to me for six years I would be hurt and confused too. Although I would have given her the walking papers right after that because I cannot stand a liar!

Heck, by the time you get to my age, it's not a matter of figuring out IF they have baggage...it's figuring out HOW MUCH baggage they have, and if it matches your baggage.

LOL

Amen s2s Amen!!!!!

Oh yeah I do believe that- thats the weird thing, I dont for a minute think I will have a better relationship (sexually or otherwise) with anyone else, the person I could do it with is in no way better than my girlfriend. The only reason would be for the experience of sleeping with someone else, thereforeeee not feeling so bad about either her past or my past and instead feeling guilty for what I have done and being able to realsie what is true which is I am lucky to have what I do and learn that I will not want to be with anyone else or be bothered with how many either of us have been with.

I understand why your feeling this way as I had a problem like this when I was 18. I know how much it can eat at one's confidence and how I obsessed over it. In the end, I lost her because I could not get over it and I could not leave her. Well she gave me my walking papers and I had no choice but, to move on. What I am trying to say is take a break from the relationship for a little while. Do what ever you must to get over this issue and then try to reconcile with her. Other than that you can try what shes2smart suggested and talk to her about it and see if she can be ok with it(long shot).

You have to make this decision and have to do it soon. I am sure this is causing friction with your relationship too. It is only a matter of time till she gets tired of this and puts an end to on her own. This is an issue of doing what you feel is right for you and also considering her feelings at the same time.

Anger issues

BO

The female version of a player

Users

Greedy people

no intelligence -I am outta there fast!

liars!

1. Deal with it and stay with her- I have tried for months but however much people tell me that makes sense I just don't feel it and cant make myself fine with things.

 

2. End the relationship/split up for a while- We have tried this but not lasted more than a weekend as we both know how much we love each other and don't want to have a relationship with anyone else.

 

3. Cheat- There are all of the possible bad things as mentioned in other peoples posts but also the possibility of it making me feel less bothered with her past, more happy with the amount I have been with, guilty with myself and able to put all this in the past as a foolish selfish thing I had to do in order to be know in myself that I am now fine to move on in the relationship.

For one, we all seem to think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. I for one don't think that is true and I learned that the hard way.

 

Two you have to also consider that all her past experiences are what makes her the woman you love now. I have to say if this is bothering you so much you need to figure out what your going to do. If you cannot move on from the 6 year lie (which I would be mad at also) then it is time to move on. If you don't leave and you don't cheat then you may end up resenting her in the future. You MUST figure out what you WANT TO DO!

 

Cheating is not an option... There is no need to hurt someone so much sleeping with someone else. Believe me it is not always as good as you might think.

I stand by my original post Jake. I did try to see your point of view but, I come to the same conclusion everytime. You either get over it and move on or you need to leave her to sow your oats. There is no if ands or butts here with that. If you love her then you would not want to hurt her in this way. I know I have been on the cheated end way too many times in my life to know how much this effects your entire being. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. There is also the feelings of guilt you will feel when the deed is done. Seriously, if you feel this strongly then you do not love her as much as you think and are only there because your comfortable with being in the relationship itself. I know it is easy to do because I have done it in my past relationship.

I swear the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. TRUST ME about that one!!!!!

Hub

Cheating never solves anything but, hurting the partner we supposedly love. If you feel you need more experience within the bedroom then you MUST end this relationship now. Remember my friend that this will have consequences in the future. For one, we all seem to think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. I for one don't think that is true and I learned that the hard way.

Two you have to also consider that all her past experiences are what makes her the woman you love now. I have to say if this is bothering you so much you need to figure out what your going to do. If you cannot move on from the 6 year lie (which I would be mad at also) then it is time to move on. If you don't leave and you don't cheat then you may end up resenting her in the future. You MUST figure out what you WANT TO DO!

Cheating is not an option... There is no need to hurt someone so much sleeping with someone else. Believe me it is not always as good as you might think.

Yet I STILL cry regularly over my own ugliness

^^^^ Are you kidding with this statement? I find you very attractive and as the last poster stated I am not saying this to make you feel better. Your boyfriend is with you because you are an attractive person in the flesh. Please just enjoy life as you are because your an attractive young lady who does not need to worry herself about trivial things like this.

Things I have learned:

-Never loan her money as you will be the one to pay it all off when things end.

-Never stay with someone just because your afraid to be alone.

-I need to love me before I can truly love another.

-If they cheat or lie then they MUST GO!

-If they raise a hand to me they MUST GO!

Most importantly

-Never let someone control you and force you to do things you don't want to do.

-A relationship is a two way street and if the other party is not willing to compromise then they have to GO!

I hope you mean you won't trust that guy in particular, and not just that you won't trust any guy like that again. I mean...sure you're hurt and all that but if you don't have trust in a relationship, you don't have a relationship...least that's the way I see it. Love is great, love yourself, definitely. As far as relationships go...they are about compramise...you can't always put yourself first, maybe just set limits on things you're willing to give up?

^^^^^WOW!!!!

I could not have SAID THAT BETTER MYSELF!!!!

I just wanted to take a few minutes out of my day to write something about this date in history. I know first hand what that day was like as I saw the second trade center building come down while responding to my fire house. How the New York Skyline does not look right even after all these years without the towers. I just wanted to honor the dead by posting something about today to promote remembrance of this tragedy.

To me the biggest memory I have was the smell of burning plastic and dust that floated thru the air for months after the buildings collapsed. The smell of death that followed will always be with me. Hearing about all those fire fighters and police that lost their lives in the line of duty. To see the pictures of people that jumped out of the building as it was better than burning to death. Today will always be a somber day for me as I have never been the same since 9/11/01. All I ask is you remember and think about that day and to NEVER FORGET!!!!

This is not posted for a political debate. This was posted for everyone who has lost someone close to them because of the events of 9/11/01 started.

Well my ex cheated on me and I caught her in the act. She was actually in bed with this fool when I walked into the apartment. I stayed there with her for over 2 years after that incident. I have learned a few things that I would like to share about cheating and being cheated on.

1. You will never trust that person again. There will always be a thought in your mind about what they are doing when your not around.

2. There is no way a person who had someone cheat on them could ever be friends after that event. I still don't know how I stayed with her even though I knew it was basically over. If she cannot respect him then how in the world can she respect him now. To me if he was friends with her then he does have some issues he needs to resolve.

3. I should have left her that day but, no I stayed because I have a fear of being alone for the rest of my life. So what I can say is that this man is still holding on to her because he still wants to be with her or hurt her like she did to him. Either way this is not healthy for either of you. I think you need to talk to him and decide whether or not you can handle this issue in your relationship. Remember hun this is about you TOO and it is not selfish to think about you in this matter if it bothers you that much.

Hey I am not much of a crier myself and I know how you feel. I remember being at my grandfathers funeral when I was 17 and not being able to shed a tear. I felt embarrassed that I was not able to shed a tear but, a few days later I broke down.

Everyone has a different coping method and you need to find yours. I found while I was hurting from my last long term relationship that this site was my release. Oh boy did I let go on here in the past and it helped me get thru a really dark and depressing time. If you feel like crying you may want to find out why you feel this way. Life is way too short to feel like a walking useless person all the time. I know thats how I spend most of my days and night feeling sorry for myself. I still have not conquered that problem yet but, I AM WORKING ON IT!

What I am saying is you need to find out what the source of the pain is from and try to compensate for it. You need to be able to move past this if you want to be happy. Remember that everyday we wake up is a blessing in disguise. We all have a short time on this planet and it is a shame for anyone to go around being depressed and hurt.

Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist? Maybe you need to talk to someone outside your life that can give you perspective into your issues.

Hubman thanx for the input and for not sugar coating it. DN thanx again me and him talked about that I asked if part of the reason that he wasnt coming back home had to do with his family he said yes and I said well you need to be a man you are not having this relationship with your family you are having it with me I am sure that when they have problems with their significant other they dont wait for you to feel comfortable or wait for your approval if they want to be with who they want to be with they go now if there is another reason why then I understand but I just cant do it. Beec I liked your bluntness and honesty thanx.

Anytime Princess!

I really hope you work your issues out. Remember to not let that pride get in your way. A relationship is a two way street and you MUST pick and choose your battles. There is no other way around that hun.

Well I find that everytime you fight you ask him to leave the apartment. I don't think it is fair of you to EXPECT him to come to the apartment after you throw him out. I know if I was in his shoes I would also be a bit leery about going back. How would you feel if everytime you fight with him he threw you out?

I know it bothers you that he does not want to come home right now but, you also have to give him credit for trying to take the bull by the horns and work things out. If they don't then fine but, you will never know what will happen. I say why not try and reconcile to stop all these fights from happening? If you love each other then that would be the best thing for you two at this time.

I'll repost this... as it was deleted first time around. Hopefully this version makes it through the "censor police" without getting randomly deleted.

You know if you would only follow the posting guidelines for EnotAlone.com you would not have to worry about your post being removed. Please refrain from putting down the all volunteer moderating team as they are here to help. If you don't know what the posting guidelines then please read the posting guide located on top of the main forum page.

A member posted something that I think will address your concerns.