Beachboy

hey......I am going through a similar breakup situation....where we're still technichally dating, non exclusively.... So its not cheating if she hooks up with someone...Ouch. This is after a 2 year relationship. I know the phone thing is tempting, i've done it myself a couple times. But in the end, if you half to look, you've already lost. I've found that you have to have more confidence in your own self, than to worry if this dudes screwing around. I sympathise though, because that is a very hard place to be in a relationship. So I suggest that you dont put yourself there. A relationship is like a table, you put your heart an soul into it, but in the end, its held up by legs. And trust and being nice are two very big legs. With out them, your gonna be carrying this all around by yourself. It's tough to hear, but think about if this guy is worth all the pain he's causing you, and if not. Then try taking a good old fashion break. Remember, absense makes the heart grow fonder. And mean while, you should see if theres anyone else out there for you. Hope this helps

that sucks dude..check out my post here.. link removed

ahhh....experiance is the hardest techer, it gives you the test first, then the lesson.... while im on qoutes, remember, it's better to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all. In my situation, I live less than a mile away, and we're technically broken up, but dating, non-exclusively....i think thats how she put it.... Regardless, I have to hear about her and other guys from my friends, because we hang in the same circle.....that was hard..... I'm still not over it... but just remember. At least your in sunny Cali.... Maybe it'll all work out... maybe it won't. God knows I've tried everything under the sun... My friend gave me some good advice though. He said if you want her back, then you want her to come back for the right reasons. Your girl sounds like she likes pouring salt in the wounds. They just don't understand that we don't feel the same way about the relationship that they do. You moved for her, thats gnarley... Now she's pulling this...wow....Forget about the other guy...that'll just get you down. Just be yourself and take this time to fix your life. Do all the things you couldn't do before. Try and check in with her once in a while, if you want, and just do your thing. At the end of the day, your still in california.....

STOP THAT COLD PLAY STUFF RIGHT NOW!!!! IF YOU WANT TO FEEL BETTER>> BLINK 182

Because.....people are not attracted to sinking ships. And besides, of all the emotions you could choose...why would you want it to be sympathy that brings her back. Think about it. If you start working out and going to movies and being independent....I am Not a big fan of Mandatory NC(no contact). You'll have a way better chance of starting the fire back up. Think about it. If she was calling you all the time, doing nothing but thinkin of you, and generally miserable without you, you'd be way less into her than if she was going out every night, seen with other guys, and generaly not that dependant on you. That is pure fact. The hard part is realising that and using it to your advantage. some people round here would say let her go, but i figure if shes akready gone, theres no harm in going out with a bang. Just remember, Sympathy will get you a card, love will get you a hug, but jealousy will get you a date... (her being jealous of you). would you buy a dotson because you felt sorry for it?

Wow....your 27....and you finnally had to deal with the hardest part of growing up. Props. Just imagine what your going through...all the pain and anguish....the lack of motivation to wake up......like your stuck in the middle of the ocean and the wind has left your sails.... and imagine going through that ant 13 or 15 or 19.....I never understood why Dr. laura said people under 18 shouldn't date.....but if your having trouble with a stable income and a house and bank account, imagine what its like for a kid.... not to rag on your situation, i'm just making an observation. I sincerely hope it all works out for you, and if theres any advice that rang true for me, its just to be your self. That way, you'll never regret. I also have found an amazing outlet in this message board, and would encourage anyone who has a say to say it. Half the battle is getting this bowlling ball that is bouncing around in your head out. For the original poster, i would suggest also starting a journel. Because sometimes friends get sick of hearing about stuff, and with a journel, you can at least get stuff out. let me know if this helps, after all, i'm still just a dumb kid...

Bro, theres no easy way to say this. What she's doin sounds like more than meets the eye. I'm going through a similar breakup, though not quite as blunt. I have been tearin my hair out and loosing sleep for the past month, and all I can offer is what i've found to help me. We'd all like to get them back, theres no question, so i'll skip all the other fish in the sea crap, because let's face it. Thats just not possible when you'd probably turn down sex with a playmate just to get her back, and you can't get her out of your mind. Well, whatever was wrong with your relationship that made her leave,(maybe shes just being a stupid, imature, girl, hell we've got our moments....haha), you've still got to wake up every morning, with or without her. So, I suggest harnessing that powerfull emotion you got goin right know and apply it to areas in your life that you could improve. Work out religiously, get ripped, do better in school, work longer hours....whatever. After 4 years, you know her better than she knows herself, and you probably put up with more of her crap than most sane men would, so its probable that when she shows her true self to new guy, he won't match up to you. When she cry's, will he be there like you were, probably not. and if she doesn't work out for you, at least you'll be better off. Passing the time in between is the hardest part. When it gets bad, i suggest modest amounts of heinekin, and listening to any blink 182 song...... also, i hate country, but this song will probably cheer you up....Kieth urban "you'll think of me"........Blink 182"time to break up".......Sublime"hope"....thats a big one... and only heiniken....its been dubbed breakup beer because it has an uplifting buzz....but dont drink to much.......other than that........Good Luck..... and remember, if your ever in doubt.....watch tv for 20 minutes and remember that there really are other chicks in the sea who dig sensitive caring guys!