melancholy123

11 hours ago, fallininlove said:

Maybe you're right but he barely puts any effort into the relationship. I'm the one picking him up from his house, driving, etc... so I viewed this as putting effort in. But I guess you are right, everyones got their own texting styles.

What's the attraction if you think he's not putting in any effort?  This bugs you, so he does not appear to be a match for you.  Of course everyone is different and you need to figure out how to accept that.  As for this guy, move on,

So you actually text him to complain he doesn't text you enough?  Not everyone texts all the time!  I think you came off as being super pushy and demanding and I dont blame this guy for not bothering with you anymore.  You do sound difficult.  You need to learn to lighten up and not be so demanding. 

I doubt anyone cares what finger you have a ring on.  Some may comment on it being pretty or unique or whatever but as for the finger?  Doubt it.

Who cares what others think?

I'd stop sending her texts, cards etc and no way for a cake if she treated me like that.  Some people put no importance on the birthdays of others.

It feels to me like the problem is his and he is taking it out on you.  It doesn't seem like his anger is because of you but b because of something else that is bothering him.

I'd keep contact to a minimum with this guy.  Talk only when necessary.  

I agree with everything Cherylyn said.

A seriously loud alarm installed in your van would deter them.

Neither but party girl is miles ahead of the impatient one.  However I'd find someone better than both of them. 

The answer is obvious, yes all of it is abusive.  I'm glad you left.  If you need help sorting yourself out so you can move forward, please get some therapy so you dont end up in a situation like this again.

Nobody can predict if she will fight with her boyfriend in the next two years!  You are being foolish in wanting to wait for this girl.  Move on.  You aren't in love with her, you are lusting after her.

This is where you learn from your mistake so you dont do it again.

10 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

Five months and you still haven't spoken on the phone or video chatted?

I would be concerned as well, heck I would have stopped all contact after a few weeks of this shady behavior. 

Let's say she is real and not some guy in prison with internet privileges. Lucy is way to guarded to be in any kind of relationship with you are anyone.  It would be best if you put some distance between you two so you can disconnect from her.

Also you called it a relationship.  You do know it isn't real right?  Until you meet it is just an online fantasy and an imagined relationship.  This is how scammers get their prey because they are patient.

Either way this Lucy is not open and trusting enough to ever allow you in so why keep trying?

Lost

This ^^  You don't know anything about Lucy other than what she has said.  She may be a he.  She may be a scammer from Nigeria or some such place.  You have no idea who this person is.  Cut your losses now and move on.

I was so beyond thrilled to move 5.5 yrs ago, and I got everything I wanted in a house.  We lived on our farm for 26 yrs and I wanted to move after 3 months there but my husband would not move...it was not the farm that was the issue, it was the area.  It never did get better.  So I am sorry you are having a tough time, but a move can take a longer time to adjust to than hoped.  Give yourself time to adjust since you dont really. have a choice by the sound fit.  I adjusted to the farm but was never happier than the day we sold it!

Boltnrun I googled pegging and no you dont want to know.

Help me - what does neurodiverse mean?

5 hours ago, Eliza50 said:

Yes. She had a doctor appointment and she had asked me to meet for dinner when it was over as the doctor's office was in my neighbourhood. I had said ok but the night before, something else came up (not something major but I figured we meet 2-3 times a week, so, it won't be a big deal if I cancel). I told her the next morning, at work, something like 10 hours before the meeting time, that I wouldn't be able to make it and she insisted that she had told me that I would pick her up from the doctor because he would put some medicine in her eye and she wouldn't be able to see very well. I didn't (and still don't) remember that detail. So, I told her I'm sorry, I never heard you say that or I wouldn't have arranged the other thing; I'll cancel  it and come pick you up and we'll go for dinner. She said no, it's ok, I'll get someone else to come...and from that moment on, she started being distant until she told me what I said in my first post.

 

Having red this, I change my answer.  I would not go meet her.  She really over reacted to this and I suspect she wants something from you now.

I say go, but dont expect much.  I think curiosity will get to you (as it would me) and you will want to go to see what she wants.  Dont expect anything big or revelational, or that you will end up friends.  

Myself, anyone who dumps me as a friend probably cant slink back into my life and resume being a friend.  I'd wonder what they are up to or what they want.

Go but be skeptical.

You are a fool to put up with this.  There is no good, valid reason to continue on with her when she does what she wants yet tries to control what you do and ho you see.  It's her way or the highway, so let her sit in the express lane.

Smarten up!  Move on from this woman.

Let it go!

1 hour ago, Messyandstressy said:

Idk I wish I could explain it.. I feel like he’s who I’m supposed to be with. It’s been so long that I just tell myself this is how it’s supposed to be 

WRONG!  You are not happy with that guy and you really need to grow a backbone and move on from him.  He doesn't sound like he gives a sh1t about you anyway.

Dont settle for a guy who isn't giving you what you want and need.

Mt husband used to sound like a chain saw when he snored.  I used ear plugs for many years.  Then I asked our chiropractor about this and he said send him in!  Well he adjusted his sinus area and he. now doesn't snore.  It's been years since he tuned up that old chainsaw in the middle of the night!  I highly recommend a good chiropractor!

I think a large part of the sis your ages, you two are so young and neither of your brains are fully mature yet.    She may well be overwhelmed with life in general and just needs a break.  Life is hectic for almost everyone including her.

I say back off a bit and leave her alone for a while.

This is not going to end well.  I'd bet it's been going on a lot longer than he says.  You should talk to a lawyer - soon.

Can you muster the ability to go to her place for an hour or so?  Then leave and go to your family's event.  My MIL was a psycho *** from hell and I used to encounter arguments with my husband when I didnt want to go to events when she would be there as she was always nasty to me.  I got the usual - you are not supportive, my whole family will be there!  He knew how s he treated me but he didnt get it that she hurt me a lot!  So I'd go, and be really pissy about the whole thing.  In the end after a few yrs I told him no, I am not going, your mother is too nasty to me.  He eventually gave up hassling me about this.  He learned to go to things by himself.  He now admits. he understands why I felt like I did.

I say fake it if you can, but if you cant, then tell him no you are not going, and have a good time I'll see you when you get back.