melancholy123

What the heck?  Why are you wasting your time talking to this guy?  You broke up ages ago.  Block and delete him and your life will get much better pretty much immediately.

All the above people said what I planned to say.  The guy is the a-hole not you.  Passive aggressive jerk.   Get out now, he's not worth the aggro and you cant change him.  He needs some serious help.

This is over, she is done.  You cant win over parents and relatives who are in her head.

My dad worked all 3 shifts when i was a kid, in fact all of my life.  It was hard  when a kid, and my mother ran the horse like a drill sergeant, you didnt dare make anywise and wake up dad.  As a little kid I didnt really understand and I tried to be quiet.

Your wife is being so selfish.  She should try your schedule and see how she likes it.  She should do her best to keep the kids quiet, as hard as the is, and not purposely be makilng noise.

Do you think she wants you too quit your job and get a day job?

I wonder if he wants out so that's why he freaked out at your hesitation to his question.  

If you fight that much then why do you carry on with this relationship?  I'd be gone.

I can truthfully say my husband and I have had one argument in the over 30 yrs we have been married.  I dont get people who argue and fight regularly who stay together and keep doing the same thing.

It sounds to me like it's over.  You need to remember you are only 20 or 21!  You have lots of yers to grow and mature and live your life and find the right guy.

The person you think you love as a teen/early 20s is not usually the one you end up with for life.

Why are you still in communication with him?  Block and delete him.

If you dont want to do that, then turn your phone off at night.

What do YOU want?  You are so concerned about him that you dont say what you want or feel. Personally I'd be gone.  He can find you if and when he figures himself out and in the meantime you need to keep moving forward in your life.

Time to pack your bags and leave.  You are right, he IS a jerk.

Some men just stink when it comes to giving comfort and being supportive when their partner is sick and covid is another kettle of fish.  I think maybe he is worried that he will get sick too.  

48 minutes ago, Gb8383 said:

Meddler is fair. I just thought she had the right to see messages proving that while she thought her hubs was just hanging out with their son (and they’re still playing happy married family), he was actually taking the child to some other mistress’s party!

Maybe she is as bad as he is!  Maybe she's got a boyfriend.  It's not your job to be an informant.

Why are you messing around with this married man who has no morals?  Who cares about that other woman.  You are a meddler to tell his wife and involve their child.

You need to block and delete this guy.

51 minutes ago, Guest Anonymous said:

Hello.  We started living together 6 mos ago. He pays for everything as I got laid off my job.  I'm looking for other employment but there are lots of responsibilities at home. My credit card is maxed out but I do have some savings. I used my card to buy things for the 🏠 and our dog.

I do all the housework, grocery shopping, cooking.  Isn't that enough?  I make him especially nice dinners, like his favorites, when he has a bad day at the office

 

You should have clarified that you didnt have a job in your first post.

What makes you so special that you should not be on an equal footing with this bf of yours?  You should be working on a half and half financial plan and pay your fair share.  Did you not discuss money and how to handle bills and expenses?  Doing laundry is not doing half of the family chores.

Assuming you have a job, you should buy dinner one time, he buys it the next time.  He is not the cheapskate!  You are.

I have 2 kids almost 5 yrs apart.  The first one was easy, a real joy, and not difficult in any way.  Baby 2 was 3 weeks early and had colic from Day One.  Crying, screaming, fussy, and honestly really annoying al  lot of the time.  I often said if he was first born he'd have been last born as I would not want to go thru that a second time.  They are now adults and he is actually the more delightful of the 2!  So you never know how it will be.

I wasn't sick either time, so have no comments on that.

I always felt a person would have 2 kids if they can, so there isn't an only child.  I have cousins who are only children and they are spoiled rotten and feel entitled to whatever they want.

Sorry, she is just not into you.  She is backing off as a way to break up with you.  There is no space to give her, she is over you.   Time to move on and when you do that, work on your own issues.

Have you tried telling him NO?  NO is a complete sentence. Assuming you dont want to do this and it sounds like you dont.  Some people are into 3somes and some aren't.

Stop with feeling guilty, it's a waste of emotion and your time.  You did the right thing.   This guy is a bum and a freeloader.  As long as the govt gives him pogey he won't get a job, why should he?  When pogey runs out he. may wake up thenn.

Be glad you freed yourself from this guy.

Of course it's ok to bring it up!  It's on your mind, it bothers you,, so speak up.  No point in wondering when a conversation may tell you what you want to know.  Maybe he doesn't even realize he is doing it or that it bothers you.

Is it really constant comments or now and again?  My husband sometimes will say someone lady on tv looks pretty or has nice hair or whatever and I dont care.  It shows me he's alive and his eyes are working!  

I think it comes down to context, how the guy says it and what you think he means when he says it.  A casual comment is no big deal.  Drooling over himself at a pretty face is too much!

Again, have you talked to him about this since it seems to be bothering you.

Does it bother you when he says that?  Does he say it in a way that makes you think he wants to have sex with her?  Or is it a casual comment?  Have you talked to him about this?

How old are you two?

2 hours ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

@Wiseman2 pardon me, what does MM mean?

married man

This guy is so full of sh1t that his eyes must be brown.  He's lying to you.

I'm Canadian too and I think this guy ism wanting to evade the tax man by dealing in cash.  Would he give you a receipt for the cash?  If not, you have nothing to back you up if things go wrong.

I don't think it's a good idea to do this.

Why by a cow when you can get the milk for free?

This guy is a mooch and you are an enabler, It's that simple.  He's taking advantage of you because you let him.

I doubt he's looking for a job, he could get a job at McDonalds or similar at the very least.  He needs help for his mental health.

Time to stop being his mommy and tell him he's moving out in X weeks if he doesn't get some kind of job, and be firm when the time frame is up.  You can do better.  This is not love.