melancholy123

i agree, end this now.   Dont get married.  You can find another girl to love who will want kids.

It will not end well if you marry her and don't have the kids you really want.

I think you need to enlarge your social circle and not spend so much time thinking about this guy.  There are lots of other guys in the world, you need to look for a new bf.    FWB is not a good situation for you.

Get out there, meet new people, take up a hobby, join a group etc.  Your world sounds too small.

Why are you worried after just a few hours?

There's no reason for a sensible person to get offended by another person making hotel reservations and paying for things.

10 minutes ago, SherrySher said:

As for you questioning if you should walk away...why didn't you consider that before getting her pregnant?

It's much more complicated now with a child on the way.

Really!  Why didnt you take precautions?  Based on her track record, could it be yet another guy's kid and not yours?

You helped create this mess by talking about past sexual partners.  Those discussions often end badly.

If I was you I'd go see a lawyer and find out your legal obligations and what's involved with paternity payments you will need to make if the child is indeed yours.  Then I'd be gone.  You dont trust her and she doesn't seem trustworthy anyway.

2 hours ago, LaHermes said:

"Touching yourself to produce sexual pleasure, according to many religious doctrines, is harmful—both spiritually and physically. John Wesley, the founder of Methodist Christianity, preached that masturbation caused nervous disorders and madness. Ellen Gould White, the founder of Seventh Day Adventism, disparaged masturbation as “vice.” The Catholic Church currently castigates masturbation as “an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” Jehovah’s Witnesses teach that masturbation is a "form of uncleanness” that can be " mentally corrupting.” Among the Mormons, Jains, Sikhs, Orthodox Jews, Buddhist monks, and most schools of Islam, sexual self-pleasure is strictly forbidden."

(From an Article by Phil Zuckerman. Ph.D.)

Maybe this is why the OP is so opposed to masturbation. 

This is such a load of bullsh*t.  

Kim have you considered that some of these people who think you should be married by now, have a house etc. are jealous of you?  You are the one free to live your life as you see fit and they are the ones saddled with a mortgage and a spouse and often kids.  You have freedom that they no longer have.

About your neck, go see a chiropractor!  I have a great chiro and he's adjusted my neck (and other areas) several times with success.

You dont have to blow your husband every day unless you want to.  He can take care of things himself.  I think your stance on masturbation is part of your problem.

I've always been my own person and what others think of me or expect me to do means nothing to me.  So I honestly can't say I. understand how you feel because i dont.

I do know you should work at your own speed, your own timetable, your own plan.  Who is it making you feel pressured to do certain things as you approach 30?  I'd love to be 30 again!

You sound like you have done well so far in your life and you should keep on keeping on, do what works for you in your own way.  There is nothing wrong with you and there is a ton that is right!

Why don't you phone her and talk to her about it?

if it was me, I'd have said, sorry I can't help you.  Then I'd move on.  I dont engage with creepy guys with a hard on in a grocery store.  Or you can tell him to ask someone who works there.  I wouldn't get angry, I'd be laughing to myself.

This sounds like an episode of 90 Day Fiance.  You married a stranger.  You made a mistake and as much as that sucks, you need to send her back with her kid.  Get the marriage annuled.

Next time find a girl in your own area and take your time getting to know her.

I agree too.  Start packing.  You will kick yourself forever if you stay and miss this big opportunity.  Life is short, go for it!

Oh buddy, you need to lighten up!  You will indeed chase her away if you dont learn to chill out.  It's only a week that she will be away!  You need to hang out with friends, go to work if you have a job, go to the gym etc do things that you like.

Dont be apologizing for anything, as you didnt do anything wrong - yet.  But you will if you dont get a handle on your emotions.

Not me, but a friend has lived on her own for probably 40 yrs.  She had a good job, a lot of friends, many interests, family etc.  all the normal stuff just never had guy friends. She lives her life nicely, semi retired, does what she wants when she wants.  I think she was either smarter or luckier or both than the rest of us.

3 yrs is not a huge age gap in general but 16 and 19 are in two different mind sets.  You barely know him, so don't dwell on trying to create a relationship with him.  At 19 for sure he's looking for sex.

She didnt know you were 35 til 2 days in when she asked you.  You are too old for her.  Accept that and move on.  You two are in different phases of life.

Just work on getting better.  Sounds like this guy was not really interested in you.  Yes it sucks but there's plenty of other guys out there.

End it and move on.  She's way too difficult and rigid, it's not going to work for you.

He's looking to get laid!  He's also not a man, he's still a teenage boy.  You need to back off from this.

Way to go!  We are sort of retired, we have an online biz that is slow at this time of year.  My husband was self employed for 23 yrs before we moved, almost 5 yrs ago.  He's never been so happy despite loving his job.

He's a car guy, he's got projects in his shop and we have 1.5 acres so in the summer there's always something to do.  He's got two of our classic cars done and sorted and there's a few more as well.

We just started painting the living room today, wanted to do it since we moved in.  Finally!

In summer we have breakfast on the back deck, followed by a big pot of tea.  We talk a walk round the area almost daily, even in winter.  We work on our biz as needed.

You have no idea how lucky you are to now have time to yourself to do whatever interests you.  When life gets back to some kind of normal you can volunteer somewhere, you can travel the world (hopefully) and you can take up a new hobby.  

Walk your dog as much as you both like.  Enjoy this time in your life, some people never live long enough to retire and do as they please.  Create new friendships.

I have t2 diabetes and have had it for over 10 yrs. I take pills and insulin at night. My doc said if everyone ate the way people with diabetes should eat, we'd all be a lot healthier. He's right. Both my parents had it, so I would likely have ended up with it eventually.

It's not a death sentence! Once you learn how to eat properly and make the adjustment to better/healthier foods you will be pleased with your results. I dont care at all that cake, pie, donuts etc are not on my list of things to eat. Doing it right sure beats the alternative.

Yes I fall off the wagon every now and again, but I get back on the wagon right away. Make any kind of exercise a part of your life, I walk a lot. I have a step counter on my phone to help me.

People always say - oh your poor thing! I dont let it get me down, I know I eat better than a lot of people do, and t2 makes me conscious of what I put in my mouth. I'm glad I dont feel like I miss all the sweet crap nobody really should be eating.