hurtbylove

What is the point of taking a break if you are still in contact? Taking a break is to have some time apart isn't it?

That said there are always different degrees of contact. Spending every moment together is different than a check-in phone call

I tend to prefer a girl that is cute in normal everyday clothes. My ex looked hot even in just a sweatshirt and jeans.

I like girls without makeup, a little is ok for special occasions. I think if it looks natural then it's good.

I really shouldn't be one to talk but there is more to life than just this one class.

Even if you were to completely fail out of college, there are other opportunities out there. You can find another job, try college again later. This is only a minor setback in the whole scheme of life.

Even if you don't graduate right now your parents might be disappointed but they should always accept you for who you are. Don't give up life for something that you will see as being trivial. It looks like a huge mountain now, but it might turn out to just be a little mound.

Despite your possible failure you will have opportunities to prove yourself later in life. You won't have that chance if you end your life.

You need to sit her down and talk about this and rather soon.

She is probably expecting to be settled down married and whatnot seeing as you are engaged now.

It is pretty wrong of you to continue to spy on her private conversations. I did the same thing for a while before... And it's really not healthy at all. You found out she's not cheating, so why do you continue to read her conversations?

The sooner that you figure out that you want out the better. Don't let this drag on any further or she will just get more hurt.

Yeah, I understand about not knowing how to be someone's friend because you were never friends in the 1st place. I think in the cases of relationships like that, they are the hardest to rekindle because I believe that friendship should be strong between lovers and that in cases where there was a strong friendship foundation, there is a greater chance of getting back together than if the friendship was weak to begin with.

I wish we were friends before we were together too. It was my first relationship and it was her third. She was pushing me so hard in the relationship and I tried hard to keep up. We were moving way too fast and I tried to tell her that but each time she got so hurt.

Sometimes these things are just beyond your control.

It'd be great if we could think of it all objectively but it's not always so simple.

I would love to lay out the groundwork to my ex and try to fix it but I can't even talk to her right now. Seeing her hurts me so much. Maybe your ex doesn't want to be with you right now, things change, people change. If she isn't willing to give it her all, or anything, then why should I try?

I'm still not able to separate my feelings of love, pain, anger away from able to have "just a friend level" relationship with her. I wasn't friends with her before. I only know how to be her lover.

Girls don't think that a hard on is a turn off. If anything it's cute and they feel attractive.

At least that's how my ex-gf saw it as. I got embarrassed for a while, but she always got a good laugh out of it.

I don't think it's necessary to shave your pubic hair if you are a guy. It's not really needed for a girl either as long as it's not too hairy.

Pretty much all comes down to personal preference and everyone is different.

Fingering a girl, every girl is different. I've only been with one, and it didn't really seem that hard. Stick your hand down her pants and it'll probably be pretty wet already. Just feel around and she'll moan a bit. Be gentle and make sure your nails are trimmed.

You ejaculate much faster when you masturbate partly because you know how to please yourself. When having sex, hopefully you'll be wearing a condom. It'll help you last much much longer. Unprotected sex and you'll be done for in under a minute

It's best you try to move on with your life.

Letting go is hard but we all have to go through it sometime.

It does suck she is already with someone else, but you can't do anything about it. Trying to force things on her will just prolong your pain.

No one knows your situation except you and your ex.

You have to give more details for us to be able to help you through this.

Instead of cutting you should make a promise with your friend.

To face all problems coming your way together and to both stop cutting at the same time. You should value your body and try to avoid damaging it. You only get one!

I'm sorry but she seems a little messed in the head.

God does not outright say that she shouldn't be with you

That's when people are taking things way out of line. Religion should be a guideline of how you live your life not as a blanket excuse for doing things

No, I don't think it's a good idea to do that.

Don't come on too strong onto her, especially if she doesn't know.

She will likely be overwhelmed and afraid if you did that. If she is secure in her relationship, she would have no reason to come to you.

Especially don't come out and say that you love her. If you just drop a hint that you like her, flirt that's ok, but don't lay it all out there and declare your undying devotion to her.

Saying that you'll wait for her is kind of strange too.

Meh I have never been all that deterred by the various things women go through.

It's all interesting stuff.

You will be doing both yourself and him a favor by putting more distance between you guys.

He really should be trying to recover from this and not trying to get you back. It's stopping him from healing and stopping you from moving on with your own life.

There is a point I think where you are too young to really understand what it really means.

Unless you have had some spectaular life experiences that make you super mature.

What does a 24 year old have in common with a 14 year old?

I think they are in completely different worlds. A 14 year old is probably around a freshman in high school and a 24 year old is finishing up/ finished with college and working. I can tell you that a whole lot of growth and maturing happens between high school and college and transitioning into the workforce.

In high school I wouldn't touch anything that is more than 2 years apart. During that stage, people are still going through so many changes. After you get into college and beyond, the playing field starts to level out.

If you can make it work then great for you, but I don't think it's for me

P.S.

For those young girls (under 18 ) with older guys.

Are you having sex with them?

How do you think they would feel if you said that there would be no sex during the relationship? Do you think they would still stick around?

I did a search and there are quite a few posts about this topic

I found this quote by Ingrid in the thread "I'm 18 and he's 58"

It might be slightly strange at first shifting from a patient to partner relationship, but it's not unheard of of course.

Take it slow, good advice for all relationships.

And hopefully as you spend more time with him, and enough hints dropped *short of hitting him on the head with the "I LIKE YOU" hammer*, he'll realize your true intentions

But I think he still might not be sure, he could just be cordial and friendly to all his patients.

Wish you luck and keep us posted as to what happens next

It most certainly is a problem if you lay out the problems you think the relationship is having and he is unwilling/uncomprimising.

Relationships take so much work and it's a whole lot of give and take.

From what you said it looks like you have been doing a whole lot of giving and he isn't doing the same favor to you.

There is something wrong if he keeps insisting that you are the one having issues and is unwilling to change.

Maybe he is just starting to feel comfortable in the relationship and is just taking you for granted.

I think you need to do something to jolt his awareness that if he doesn't really shape up that it could lead to more serious consequences.

It's more personality that matters of course.

I also look slightly young for my age I'm often mistaken for a college freshman when I'll be a 4th year in the fall.

Hey looking young has it's advantages, a couple years down the line when everyone is looking old and ugly you'll still be looking good.

Also it's a matter of taste as well, some girls like the boyish look, while others may like a manly man.

Can't change what nature (parents ) give you so work with what ya got

You should tread delicately here.

I think you should feel special that she chose you to share this with and if you tell it might break the trust she gave.

How long ago was this incident?

Definitely talk to her more and try to understand/console her about these feelings. Don't do anything without her permission though, like tell her parents or a counselor.

It might still be possible to find this guy and press him for rape charges. But if she wants to let stay quiet then it is her decision.

Do try to convince her to tell an adult, just don't do it behind her back. It might be possible for you to help her move on through this, no matter how traumatic an event.

In any case, be there for her because she obviously trusts you.

If you only focus on negative things of a relationship.. of that there are many

But never think about the good times,

You'll never get out of this rut. Your future relationships are over before they start.

Go out there and give it another chance.

If you fall, brush it off, take time to heal the wounds, and try again.

I also have a friend that I like in a more than friendship level. But I'm still trying to recover from a past breakup. Even though I know nothing will happen between us, it's still fun to flirt and have fun. It doesn't have to always be so serious.

I want to be able to trust someone with my feelings again someday.

Learning to trust again will be difficult.

It might be slow.

But if it works .. wouldn't that be beautiful?

Having a relationship with a single mom would definetly be more difficult.

How old is he and how experienced with relationships is he?

Do you think he has insecurity issues?

I think he should have a bit more trust in you to let you go though. Is he normally a clingy type?

He is doing the checking up type of behavior I can tell you that.

How far have you progressed?

Usually it starts off kissing, then maybe touching and so on and so on.

If she says no during any of this, then back off and try to see what her limits are and how far she is willing to go.

It's hard to figure out if she will be sexually active with you without being at that stage.

For me cute girl can turn into a hot girl.

My ex-gf was really cute.

She attracted me with her looks and I fell in love with her personality.

When I got to know her she changed from cute to hot.

I miss her dearly

It would trouble me a bit if my next gf was still contacting her ex quite a bit.

I do feel insecure sometimes about myself and think about things like why does she like me.

With the ex in the picture, your partner will likely be comparing you to her ex and that's never fun. The ex may be waiting for just that right moment when you have an argument and your partner runs into his arms.

I did get fussy when my ex contacted her ex-bf when he wanted her back.