hurtbylove

I'm going to be negative here, but.

Maybe they felt like they were doing the right thing and time passes, and they still feel like it was the right thing to do.

It's good to keep hope, but keep realistic and don't fall into the trap of false hope.

Try not to keep thinking that oh, the dumper would come back if they just had the guts to.

I want my ex back too. But I think she's moved on, and hasn't looked back.

Just keep that tiny flame in your heart alive, but don't let it rage out of control.

It's only natural for you to feel that way.

But it's mostly out of your control now. You can't change how people feel or what they do. Maybe in time she will see what she lost, maybe she won't. But you can't sit around waiting for her either.

It's hard but let her go.

If you can handle it, go ahead and be her friend to show her that you still care. Just as long as it doesn't really hurt you that she left.

You really need to figure out what to do fast.

If your ex is having personal problems, is she really fit to be a mother?

Are you fit to be a father?

Your options at this point need to be considered, having a child is a HUGE responsibility.

Is she playing mind games with you?

It's hard to not get down sometimes but it's good that you are still trying.

A lot of us have the problem of not even having the courage to ask out a girl.

So it's really only a matter of time before you find someone for yourself ok?

I met my first love at the school computer lab haha.

She was so cute, and I'm a really shy guy. I had a couple chances before I finally went up to talk to her.

Good things happen when you aren't even thinking about it

Going through a breakup is an emotional rollercoaster.

It's good that you are there for him.

But understand how many unresolved issues he has right now that need to be worked out. These issues can't be fixed overnight, it will probably take many months of healing.

I'm not sure if it would be a good idea to tell him your feelings. You don't want to end up being in a rebound relationship.

Nah, that's not true.

I'm a really shy person and I ended up having a first relationship at 20. Of course things didn't work out or else I would be spending all my time with her but some girls are willing to give you a chance. Even if you are really shy.

A lot of them are understanding about shyness, but you have to know that you also have to make "some" effort to let them know how you feel!

Have you tried asking out an asian girl? You never know until you try.

There is a point where you can no longer wait for your ex to come back.

"Sometimes things just aren't meant to be"

I have all the love in the world for my ex, but I don't chase after her or even talk to her anymore. She doesn't feel the same way. Chasing after her will end up hurting me more. She doesn't have feelings for me anymore.

Do I still love her, yes. But I am trying to let go. It's not an immediate process, my love is slowly dying.

You have to watch out for number one, yourself. like mix maxster said. No contact helps you move on with your life. Pick up the pieces of keep moving along. Improve yourself. If sometime in the future your life and your ex cross paths again, hopefully they will see the positive changes you have made.

Honestly, before I had my first relationship, I never really felt this alone. She has been gone for almost 2 months now..

I think it is a fundamental desire to be loved. It feels good when everything is working. It feels good to have a deep connection with someone else and you seem to understand each other on a different level. But it also feels really bad when things don't work out. Lowest lows and highest highs.

Everyone wants to feel like they are wanted.

What your exbf says makes sense. It doesn't make it right, but I think that yes, he fears being alone.

I don't know about being a bad person, but I think they are insecure about themselves.

That's why they try to keep you trapped in a little box, cut you off from the world. It's because they are deep down afraid to lose you. It's a messed up mindset but that's what I think they believe.

I also tend to have problems trusting people with my feelings because I fear rejection/getting hurt. But in a relationship, you must trust your partner to not go out and mess around with other people, be faithful etc, because a relationship isn't meaningful without trust.

Maybe it is also a power thing, to keep you down to keep themselves feeling good about themselves too.

The thing is, I know all these things in my mind, I can chant it until the cows come home. But in my heart, I seem to be unable to let go.

I can see the way, but my feet don't want to walk the path. I feel some kind of mental block holding me back and I can't seem to break through.

Knowing the "truth" and what to do is one thing, doing them is another.

As long as you can accept that you aren't in a relationship with that person, being friends is fine.

I think the litmus test is if you could stand that your ex is currently with someone, and accept it without feeling anything.

I think too often people get strung along right after the breakup with "Let's just be friends". I don't think it's possible to really be friends just after breaking up if you really cared/loved that person. I mean, your relationship just died and you have to take time to mourn its passing.

It still hurts me to even think of seeing my ex, if she was with someone else I would go ballistic. That's why I keep no contact until I am ready. It's possible I'll never be ready to see her again.

If you can keep a level head and keep your emotions separate from your ex, there is nothing wrong with being friends.

But remember that in the end it will never work out if: your ex just wants to be friends, and you want to get back with them.

You will positively drive yourself insane analyzing the actions of your ex if you aren't over them and hang around them too much.

I'm the same way man, when I tell someone I love them, I really mean it.

The problem is you can never control what other people do, and what they think. You give them all your attention, and your love and they will sometimes throw it back in your face.

It is the hardest thing to do, but you have to let go. Think about if she could do that to you if she ever really cared or loved you.

I think you are probably a decent guy like me that just got burned. Life sucks sometimes but you (and I) will someday find a girl that appreciates us and loves us the same way.

It takes time.

I think only time can tell what he will do.

Getting a tattoo by itself really doesn't mean much, people will do desperate/stupid things when they want to hold onto something.

I would definetly look towards his actions in the future to see if he is sincere. Not just having her name emblazoned on his body

refer to the post

"Is she intrested?"

She invited you over and gave you her number, her intentions are fairly clear here

Good luck.

The worst thing that can happen is you lose your will to live without the one you love so much. Learning to let go is just as important as learning to love.

Sometimes things just weren't meant to be, no matter how much you want it to work. I know that I tried all I could to convince her to come back, but she isn't. I haven't talked to her in weeks, I still think of her every second. It's so hard moving on without her.

The problem isn't with her though. It's my own mindset that is corrupted and needs to be changed. I just can't seem to let go. It's unhealthy and it's consumed me so much that I'm not the same person anymore.

I almost lost myself over this relationship... I'm at the very bottom now looking up. Things can't get much worse, but they haven't been getting better yet. I don't know when I can get my act together to really become the man I need to be.

No, you shouldn't contact the rebound girl. It's just not needed.

That would be like pouring gas onto the flames.

I think it's only natural for her to be outraged and lashing out. Someone she was involved with left her for someone else. It hurts like hell.

I think you should let it calm down and resolve itself. No need for you to get into the picture.

That's great for you! Congrats.

Now you will probably have butterflies wondering if you are doing the right thing on your first date.. haha

Just be yourself of course. That's great that life is working out for you. It gives me a little hope in this world.

It's hard but you will need to learn to control your jealously eventually.

Trust me, no one wants to be around someone who is possesive, it's just not fun.

Learn to have confidence in yourself, if she really likes you then it shouldn't matter too much what other guys are doing, to a certain extent.

double

I had a similar thing happen to me. Initially, the girl was so into me and it was crazy for me. She was frustrated for a while and felt that I didn't like her as much as she liked me.

Eventually I started to fall head over heels for her... and she did the opposite. She lost feelings for me and didn't want to continue the relationship. It hurt me so bad when we broke up.

I did the exact same thing, the more distant she got, the more I tried to make up for it. I tried to fill in the void with my love for her. In reality, I should have seen what was happening and pulled back my feelings.

Well, it's been more than a month since we have been apart and it's been really hard for me, especially since it's my first relationship.

Right after the breakup, I still had thoughts of trying to get her back. I saw her a couple times, and it was so painful though to see how she had changed. She used to be so happy to see me and couldn't get enough. Now she seemed so distant and cold. She didn't want to give me hope of her coming back.

I still can't really face her still, the pain is too much. It's best for me to stay out of her way until I am healed.

The way I see it there are 2 different ways of meeting people.

1) Initial attraction, wow she's cute, I think i'll approach her and see how that goes.

2) There isn't much to start with, you don't notice much. But maybe once you start talking, doing things together, even just as friends, you see a little more there. The attraction is slow, but it builds.

I think the type 2 relationships usually end up a little better than those made by initial attraction.

The 1st one starts out stronger, but is more likely to fail after the initial wow factor wears out. The 2nd one already has a base from which to launch.

I don't really think there is anything wrong with either approach, they are valid ways of meeting people.

I think a lot of people, myself included, do indeed put people in categories. I do this especially for people I don't know, like that is a cute date-able girl, that one is average and I wouldn't go for her. But this is on the basis of appearance and not personality. My first judgement tend to be way off from reality. Of course it's possible that I could fall for someone for their personality and see past some of the physical attractivness factor.

It is possible to move too slow.

A girl generally will move on if she doesn't see that much effort going on.

Don't worry about the new guy, she is just meeting new people. It's not too late for you to still get a shot at being with her. Just be yourself, and tell her how you feel when the time is right

If you feel sad, it's natural.

You have shared 2 years of life with someone so special to you and now they are away. All the things you guys did together, all the moments, there can be no more.

When one person quits the relationship there really is nothing you can do. You can try convincing the other person to work out the issues they have, but you will quickly find out if they really want to or not.

Nothing we can do on the end of the dumpee. Try your best to not look desperate for them back, no matter how hard it is.