Above13

Can't remember who said it takes half the time of the reltionshiip to properlly heal from the pain of a break up, but I believe in it. After a very long term relationship I am actually feeling some segments of relief to know that "I have had enough", so if there is anyone out there: remember this: "You can't always get what you want, but if you try somehow, you might just find you get what you need" Jagger So to the board, the moderators, thanks for exisiting. Not alone is a great forum with some great shares.

"is this a healthy and balanced relationship?" probably not, it's one of those situations wherby if the point is not won it is not made - at all. What I get frustrated about is how my verbal sentences can be so brutally cut down and edited to a suitable context for the 'discussion'! Sound s like a joke, but it is not. Last night I went out and met someone I knew from college, could simply become : "Last night I went out and met someone" , like selective hearing.... But that's amoot pint, given that the big issue has been trust and infidelity - she donl;t trust me cos before meeting I had been a 'boy' let's say (over 8 years ago), so I was adamant that it would be a realtionship which never sufffered the indignity of infidelity. And it has for the main part (I would disagree and say, it ain;t no biggie but i feel I have been brow beaten into aceepting this). Sadly, it has (and to anyone who wionders about this, infidelity in this case does not mean sex, oral or otherwise) wherby a bit of a cyber thing was going down with a woman in a totally separate country whom I had met once, and not necessarliy romantically. Taking on board the feelings for my partner (who actively tries to hack into my PC! If I know this girl well enough she would say that by writing here, trying to figure stuff out is akin to infidelity cause I am not taslking withn her - which i do, do. lots.) Anyhow, I thought it best to own the stuff, repent and take care of my stuff rather than try to control how she would feel (god I had hurt her enough). It don't go away - so if you are thinking about even the slighest distraction, don't .....they are ruinious. I guess all the other stuff is irrelvant, now when i read my own post. "Either come to an agreement about a real plan to change the problems, or get out." I hear you!

Right now you are powerless, "Don't be sad, don;t be blue, pray for me I'll do the same for you" Paul Weller

I know, I have been on the road - I am STIll trying to pacth things up from the mess of a 10 date tour....and I am not even in the band! groupies are a bit much, and of all the musicians I have worked with, not many has been faithful. I am sorry, that's my exp. But then, One poster here said something which is very very very true, that being on the road leads to dead end stuff with the opposite sex. Sex and Love, one is overated, one is under applied...

Simple questions seen as I have a relationship where the boundries of everything seem to be blurred by the past ... One person is very vitriolic, to a point of rash statements, often targeted below the belt, often with toxin, yet little real vaidility? Abuse or fair? If I constantly accuse you of something, many things, anything, and persist until in one way or anther that percieved issue IS an issue would you call it abuse! Abuse or fair? Sometimes I feel part of the witch hunt: If I swim I'm guilty, if I don;t then I am a witch.... I had my bluff called tonight about something, which I totally told the truth about, without relasing there was some maniopulation going on - was I a lair or honest (the other half says liar cos the way the ingfo was extracted from me was via manipulation/bluff) - Abuse or fair? As a footnote, I have loads to answer for, and have done my best to own the stuff I have been answerabloe for, but it hjust comes back - why like my gran would day: "Let sleeping dogs lay" Thanks for any replies...its late and I could do with feedback...bit confused...