BigSyke

what is wrong with me i cant stop crying! i cant stop! is this normal? ive been through many break ups before, and non were like this. I CANT STOP CRYING!

yea, shopping did NO help, maybe for a bit, but then i kept looking at my phone. This is hard man, its like a living hell. She never sounded like she felt guilty. I even said i forgive her for hurting me, and she said why, i really didnt do anything wrong. I just dont understand. I asked for closure, and she still hasnt responded, usually she would have said something by now. Could it be she wants to keep me close for the time being? by not saying "dont text me anymore!" its seems like she does.

now im off to spend some money on worthless stuff, so i can occupy myself

Thats it, i have to repair. I have to get back on track soon here. These ups and downs are killing me, i need to stay up. I had tunnel vision with her. She is really one of the worst girlfriends ever if she can walk away like this. She is not worth it and i will never go back to her. I have to keep this mentality. I have another girl who likes me, but just doesnt fit my profile. My ex was really the only one out of thousands of girls who did. I just hate being so picky. If my ex's so called new "friend" has better things than me, then i will triple that, and laugh at her once its done.

i know, once i get past this point, i will definatly see that she is being very harsh right now. Its just the healing process is slower since i have no where to go, no one to talk to, no family or friends. I really want some anti-depressants or somthing to make me feel better about myself, and to stop crying 24/7. I am so pushing her away right now, but she is already long gone. I just need something to occupy me right now. I try to do things, but i just end up tearing up, and grabbing my phone and texting. should i just change my number? get rid of my phone? Its funny because i can usually talk anybody into anything after being in sales, but for somereason, its not working on her anymore. Asking her to meet up real quick for an exchange of items, goes from yea we can, to ill just drop it off maybe- to no reply, nothing. soon enough i will see that she isnt as pretty as i thought, shes overweight , and is a stuck up b*tch now. Guys still are lined up for her, but they are all ugly. Which makes me feel even uglier, since she chooses them over me. i dont know, its like there is either signs saying were supposed to be together, or its all torture from the devil. Everytime, i flip on the radio, its our song playing. And at work it seems they play all the songs about getting back together. I just see little things, and it makes me go nutso. So i gave the final text saying you will no longer hear from me anymore, love you. no response, and i dont think she really cares, i mean nothing to her....wow. Soon enough i will stop crying, stop punching things, and laugh at what she lost....but then again i made it this way. wow, i need help, when i met her i promised myself i would never ever do the things i did wrong in the past. I did, and it ended up the same way. I just wish she would try a bit like she did a few days ago. I think she got laid last night so she doesnt need me anymore. Did any of your ex's still talk to you after you broke up? im just trying to find out why shes avoiding me like after all we been through. She was the one who NEVER wanted us to end. One time she chased me for hours on the road after a fight, and i still was an a-hole, man. She did fight for me alot, now its my turn....but its not really working.

is there any kind of anti-depressants to ease this low im in? Here is the question i wanted to ask you. When i was on oxycodine, i was so positive and happy and our relationship was higher than i ever could imagine. After i got off it, i was back to my same old depressed self. is pills just a terrable thing to do? is there a pill that will help me no be so depressed? even tho i know this is natural to feel liek this, i just have alway been depressed.

It just seems that i cant do no-contact. I dont know why! im trying so hard to step away from the situation, but i cannot. Ive been sitting in my room for days with nobody to really hang out with. Im trying to heal, but its just insane that she is doing this treatment to me. Its like she is under a spell of some sort. No matter what texts i say including "do you want me to stop?", i get NO response and its driving me nuts! i can see where no contact will help, but its now seeming like NO-contact will destroy any chance i get, to make her see what she lost, and how good of a friend i am. I want to get back together yes, but i am also willing to fight for her until she "really" tells me off, and then i will know. Im willing to destroy this beyond all repair so i know i have no chance, and there for can move on. But i cant when i feel like i can fight for her, and when i feel like i can have a chance. She started off saying this guy was great, then it turned into hes nothing dont worry. But now its back to nothing all together. I dont know how to make her talk to me just so i can ask her, if I should give up and move on? or if we will remain close? Its hard to accept that she was a good girl, now shes destroying my soul and not really caring. I guess she has Totally moved on. hurts, real bad. Im just afraid what i might do to myself, since there is nobody to talk to, and nothing to do, just sit, and look at my phone.

still she wants to be single, and there is no changing that i guess. Its the fact that we spend almost every day together for 365 days. In one day boom shes a phantom, totally over me no questions. This is the type of person she is, shes too stuborn to fight for me. This breakup was my fault this time. Im trying to get over her but i cant eat, sleep or really do anything but sit here and stare at my phone. Im trying to run, but i still want her in my life! maybe not as my girlfriend but as a friend. She is going through some changes right now since she is in her last year of high school. We had a trip planned for the bahamas in a few weeks, and california in the spring. I jsut dont know anybody who can just ignore all the texts and things i do like that. If i would have done that 5 days ago she would have came running back to me at light speed. Did she just want to be single for new years eve? Yes people, she has big issues, but i have even bigger. Much bigger and SHE is the one i was gonna marry! please read this all! Ive seen so many couples and they were all jelous on how we were. Its like we knew eachother for ever and were bestfriends. Never got sick of eachother, could talk for hours and hours, and were like the PERFECT match. She has a real close family, but unfortunately they drink alot, her brother is an alcoholic, and her sister had a baby at 19. My ex lost all of her friends while she was with me, mostly because they were mean girls, but also i think i may have forced her to hang out with me alot. Yes very wrong of me. Thats how the break up for the weekends started happening. When she got around her friends who all hated me, she pretended to hate me too. I then flipped out and became this ahole when ever she was with them. Thats the big reason she left me. I also am very jelious, i just cant seem to shake it. I would always call her up and B**TCH when i found out she hung out with some guy, or saw her myspace. I get mad at the dumbest things and just cant seem to shake out of it. wow, seems like this relationship was almost the same as my last, because it ended the SAME WAY (exact same way-identical). After a while i then became sick of her kinda, and wanted to break up, so i treated her poorly. I then would realise she is the most amazing person, and i will never find anyone close, and how dumb i was. Well this time it was too late. I know i need time to heal and change myself, which im going to counceling for now, but im not the person to go out and find a good girl like her. The only other girls ive been able to find were strippers and dirty girls, and i dont know why! girls i would never last with. I have no friends anymore, just working and sitting at home, waiting. Yes she isnt the best girlfriend, but i still would like to keep her around, because once she grows up and matures, she will be the ULTAMATE companion. Last thing is, i do like the tourture, but not to this extreme which is what im going through, but when she would go out, i would get worried. Im not attracted to girls who dont do that. I think i like the pain. Its exciting sometimes, until you lose them. I can either keep trying until she tells me to stop, or just give up on this girl who has potential in the future. I really liek this girl, and i love her family- who now dislikes me. Oh and yea, i do take everybodys posts to heart! if you get angry and what i say im sorry. I may say stuff that doesnt make sense, its just the only way to relieve my pain is posting here. I hope you all will still respond.

what do you mean body contact? sex? which we never have.....I think that shes keeping me on a leash. She knows i am gonna text her non stop because i want her back, so she knows i will always be there. If I try to stop my hardest, will she realise somthing?

your right, it was unhealthy only because i smothered her, didnt give her breathing room in the relationship. I always got mad when she went out. I had trust issues yes, but its still mostly my fault for her becoming so very very cold. She doesnt seem hurt because she never tries to contact me, ever. And when we do talk, she seems like yea what ever. Her family wanted me to marry her, now they hate me. i dont know if thats why she isnt talking to me, but its weird and painful. Ive been in a situation before, where my ex has left me for another guy after a year, and it was horrible. But somehow this seems way worse because all these signs say were still supposed to be togeather. Did she just break up with me because of new years? cuz she wanted to party? Heres the scoop, she left her ex for another guy, and then he kept on her and they got back togeather after she found he had another girl. Then she left him for me, but he came back into the picture by begging and all this stuff. I dont know i cannot lose her! Shes confused, she wants me to fight, but she doesnt because she wants to move on. If i give her space, she will move on. i guess i have to let her go somehow, but shes not one i really wanna give up.

My GF broke up with me on christmas after a 400 dollar necklace. I was an a-hole wow because i got pissed cuz she thought it was fake...So i left. well she then went out and didnt tell me, and i called and called and called. Nothing, no text nothing. I then apologised alot. Nothing still, and after hours and hours at about 1am, she said were done, then i snaped and begged for a few hours. i finally then said the worst things you could ever say to someone. She then said she hates me and never ever call her again. I told her i said that, so I wouldnt run back to her, because of this ignoring treatment. Next day, no answer or nothing. We then met up a few times the next few days and fell back in love! that faded quickly on the 4th day and back to same old. She then said she had somebody else which killed. Back to her cold self again. Now she doesnt know what she wants, but she wants to be single for now. Last night no response to my texts and today i saw her on the road. I talked to her on the phone this afternoon and she doesnt know if she wants me to fight for her or not. I asked her, do you want me to fight for you? she said ok. i said you sure? she said i dont know. and hung up. Tonight i went and dropped off flowers and a card on her car while she was at work. No response when she got off. Wow still nothing. after a year is she really done? i had to leave the party I was at because i thought i was gonna kill myself seeing my friends ex gf's actually treat them like a bf. Im so destroyed right now. I want this girl back plain and simple she is amazing! i just messed up the week before christmas and was an a hole. Do i continue to fight for her? she said she doesnt really mind a text or 2. This is the girl i want to marry. what is your insight?

well get through it togeather. My ex gf left me on christmas, and now talks about this guy. I am so torn apart right now. We were engaged. We will both go through this together so your not alone

so i saw her and her friend driving back from a hotel today, they pulled up next to me on road. She kinda gave that omg wow loser face and laughed with her friend, turned her head away and sped off. Wow a perfect girl now turned evil. I hate changes, i need to find the strength to get over her. Im just not good at it.

true, but she says the reason she is being this way, is because i was smothering her. Which is true, i wanted to spend alot of time with her. I did sometimes get mad when she went out with ehr friends. We then argued every weekend, until she started not talking to me on weekend nights. I then reacted pretty bad and kept fighting. She said she got sick of it. Its my fault for being so controling. I know i need to let her go, but its my fault for getting in this situation. Im willing to accept full responsibity. Yes my self esteem is at NONE right now. Im am a guy who is 21, and good looking. I can easily walk away from most relationships. BUt somehow this ones different. Im realising that i was blind to how i treated her as well. I know it may not work out, but there is always that chance in the future. Ive pretty much met all the girls in my city and none of them struck me like she did, simply amazing. And it kept getting better until i was so attached that i thought i almost owned her. MAN what a mistake. She said she gave me enough chances, so yea im out of luck like she said as well. She has her faults and so do I. But for her not to respond to any of my texts just shows me what type of non carring selfish person she is. After a year she could care less about my wellbeing. I told her if i killed myself, would that make a difference, she said not really anymore, ive moved on. Yea i know its over, im just venting because like i said before, i have NO one to talk to. sorry for making you angry, im just not as strong as i used to be. New years is tomorow which i will be spending alone, and her with her new boyfriend.

man i am almost at rock bottom right now, and i need help! today i cried more than ever because she told me she has somebody else, and thats why she is doing this crap. She was talking about how much better he is and how he has a "Hot-tub" "gigle, gigle". I couldnt stop crying and she didnt seem to care. Im trying to walk away but its me smothering her that got me here. Its me making her mad on christmas eve that put me here. I texted her alot about how much i care for her and then she actually was telling me how she loves me after she got off work. We talked on the phone and it went from really good, back to yea this guy is soo sweet but i gotta go, bye. She was saying how she wont be with this guy, she loves me, but then went back to saying ohh his hot tub is so nice. Im trying my hardest to walk away guys but you cant blame me, its hard. You may tell me other wise, but it seems like she hasnt made up her mind...should i just lay low right now and see what happens? fight? or give up? i just wanna leave a door open incase she is just trying to see if I am the ONE.

same spot man, but it ended badly. She started treating me worse that i can explain. basically if you dont drop it now, you WILL regret it! I went through the same delima! we didnt have sex for months! found out she was getting it else where like everybody was saying. Even though i chose to think it was a lie. it sucks! I wish I ended it because now im in the worse spot ive ever been in. I waited to long until she got another guy. Kept me on standby for a few days and ended it on christmas (hours after i got her a diamond necklace). She is now with this guy and i am alone, only because i thought things would get better. If you dont leave her now you may be in the same hell hole im in. Dude i would do ANYTHING to get her back, but i tried and tried and tried till i almost killed myself. we were together for a long time, and she got over me in seconds. Read the signs, if you think shes cheating then 80% she is. I wish i broke it off sooner man im serious, i would not spend my mornings, days and nights crying while shes having sex with another guy. You still ahve a chance to flip the script on her. If you wait till she gets another guy NOMATTER WHAT, its impossible to move on quickly and it will be the worst mistake of your life. Im sorry bro but its hard, take my advice i wish i walked away and never spoke again....now im heart broken and text her all day long with no response because im lower than low right now.

can i ask everybody a question or so? i really need to figure this out! Im thinking that i did everything wrong here, but im not so sure anymore. Was i wrong to try to call her hundreds of times on christmas? She promised it with me and we had special plans. she only answered once saying she will call me in 30 minutes. she never did. So i panicked and 6 hours later started calling and texting her. was that wrong? Is it wrong to get angry when she goes out with her friends, but gets drunk and smokes weed and lies about it? you can tell when somebody is drunk and high and she lies about it. I supposidly am the most horrid person for accusing her of this, and getting mad. Is it bad to get angry and say that if she doesnt change, i will leave and find somebody who will treat me right? I only say this when she makes plans and ditches me and never answers my calls for the rest of the night. This is only 5% of what ive been going through lately with her. We were perfect at one point, but she has been ditching me every chance she can get. Is she just bored? if so why does she say were getting married in the summer?

looks like i calmed down a bit. But after reading this thread a thousand times you guys are so right. Its just the horrible fact that she met someone else, and thats the reason shes pretending i dont exsist. Knowing im probably not the best boyfriend, i dont think i deserve to cry like this. She called and was totally cold. they always are when its official. It sucks knowing shes spending the night there too. 1 year on christmas and boom, its like it was the 365 day jinks or somthing. And on day 366 shes out messing around like shes never spent every day with me. ouch. Im just trying to think of the crap i do wrong to make her treat me like this, only to repair for the next relationship. I guess i just grew bitter towards her after all the lies and cheating, even though she had a very good way of making me forgive her. I feel lower than dirt right now. I think i just messed up things with another chick too that ive been attracted to for awhile. I just cant talk the same anymore, i feel like im unworthy of anybody. and thats how my ex feels about me too. funny how they can break attachment so fast.

i dont know im confusing myself. I just cant stop crying i was going to marry this girl. I dont know what to do know, im loosing my mind. I cant stop smoking, and if I go 10 minutes without a ciggerete i start crying again and slamming my head against the wall.. I REALLY DIDNT NEED TO SAY THOSE THINGS TO HER! Now she will never talk to me again. I just wanna make sure she is ok, and she wont respond.

but she doesnt think what she did was wrong at ALL. We have talked about it over and over again in the past. So basically i look like a psycho for flipping out about it. And esp. last night. GOD! im so stupid! now that i think about it more, she was with her family.....But still usually she keeps in touch and last night she just didnt and broke up with me for trying to call her. I was acting like an a-hole that past few days, and she has that time of the month, so it was not pretty. I was getting sick of the way she treated me and acting all parinoid and STUPID! Well looks like what i did was probably one of the worst F***ups of all time. I should have just eased off her back for a while. Thats the hard part, is when you start to realise its you.

thanks guys for all the replies. Today was the worst. I went to work and could not stop tearing up! seriously infront of clients it was horrible. this has to be the worst feeling somebody could ever go through. I seriously did make a mistake. I should have NEVER had texted her that stupid message to get her all mad. Im really stuck now and i have uncontrolably been staring at my phone for the past 9 hours. I know texting is the WORST thing to do, but i just asked her if I could quickly get my necklace back sometime. I got no response. Its soo hard and i used to be the one giving advice, until it happens. I think i made a mistake, i know she isnt perfect but maybe its myself that was blinded. How can i make her at least talk to me again? just doing No contact? usually she would have at least texted me by now. I shouldnt have said those things! AGH!

ok will do....but i just made the BIGGEST mistake of my life (the one you make when your emotional like this) when she texted me about somebody is going to actually kill me, i replied -i know it was wrong, but that was the only way for me to break free. She replied with ohh i see, and now "well, goodnight".......I CANT LET THIS HAPPEN. Ive been trying to get out of this for soo long, should i throw my phone away!? man i have to move on, but im so weak minded. Shes like the ONLY thing i have, and by nature i retreat to her when she says "nice" things. Haha should i send another horrid text? hehe just to make sure I CANT get back? thank you all for being here, i know my friends are fed up with me talking about her.

yea i always seem to blow giving an explination. So she texted me a minute ago saying how perfect she was and that i was the loser and how she was gonna have someone murder me. I dont know if i should get a restraining order? call the cops? i dont know if she is serious but i received a few threats from her family members already. You guys im seriously dying here she was a good girl some of the times. But since she got on depression pills she has been acting really messed up. How do i deal with this- as me having NO friends anymore and no family, and her having EVERYTHING. how do you greive this? everything i do reminds me of her. I do have self esteem issues and issues with my parents that ive been trying to deal with. Ive been trying to help her out by choosing the right paths in life too, but she just says im trying to destroy her life. Ive been at this stage before and it was the worst 9 months of my life. I have work in like 4 hours and WILL not beable to sleep. I just hope they dont really try to do somthing because they have in the past. One time one of my friends got so fed up with how she treated me, he told her off, and insulted her. Well she blamed me for what my friend said, and well had her dad attack me. Her sister and brother were out looking for me the whole night too. All because my friend said she was worthless material for treating me like crap. HAHA but still im frickin going crazy right now. I really wish i had somebody to talk to. (my friends dont wanna hear it, and tell me to stop talking about her...so im not gonna even try to talk to my friends)

I dont know where to start, but my ex as of today has been very unstable. Usually on weekends she breaks up with me to go with her friends and gets drunk(and lies about it). Every holliday including aniversarys she has been doing this. She wont answer my calls (sometimes by accident) or really text me. She has cheated bla bla bla. Anyway lately she has been ditching me more often. So christmas came around and she wanted a nice diamond necklace. I really didnt want to get her anything but i did. Well i gave it to her last night and she thought it was fake. So she made fun of it with her family. I left and she started all this drama how i was a liar and just then did the ignoring game. Today is christmas and we had plans to go see a movie. Well she really didnt call me at all or answer any of my texts. I started to beg her to talk to me. and still she didnt. Well i then got the "I dont want to do this anymore, were done text". So i paniced and for the next few hours begged and tried to call. Nothing except one answer which was an accident and she hung up immediately. That is the one thing i cant stand, esp on christmas. So after hours of begging and no response i dropped the bomb. I text her back in the meanest text i could do. I was so fed up with this. I always would sit at home and wait for her. It was our 1 year aswell. I had to text her the measest stuff because i couldnt leave room open for me crying back to her (which would be impossible). I really said some horrible stuff, but still i spent soo much money on her for christmas and i dont think i really deserve to be treated like this. I know i bring this all on myself and im the reason she treats me like this. 30 mins after the killer text she calls and starts yelinng F*** yoU! i hate you dont ever call me you loser! then her relatives follow saying watch out, your gonna get some pain or what not. Did I really F*** this one up? i really love her but seriously i wouldnt ever imagine anyone breaking up with me on christmas for NO REASON! do i just give it time?

man i swear its like 5 minutes after reading your posts i crack, but then i read it again and it makes me feel good about this. Im sorry but i was starting to think it was girls in general. Or me (i know im not perfect) but i dont think breaking up everyweekend is normal anymore. So im thinking she has issues that most other girls dont have. Maybe i will meet a good girl someday. Plus every girl in the past has done this stuff to me too. Im really not the jelious or controlling type either, hmmm. its just so hard now. thanks amanda