Girl from work

Very good looking girl (?F) (not sure of her exact age but definitely around 18-20) started working at the same grocery store as me (20M). We’re both cashiers and I’ve only seen her a handful of times in the last few weeks due to differing schedules. I want to ask her out but I’m not sure what kind of path I should take. I was going to just go with the usual friends first move, but yesterday I overheard that she’s moving to her university about 3 hours away in about a month.

Would the regular friends first thing still be the correct thing to do or should I get to know her over the course of a few shifts and then just go for it? I’ve spoken to her a few times but only about work stuff like us asking each other if we have receipt paper or something (lol), mainly because it’s so busy and by the time it slows down one of us ends up clocking out.

I’m really stumped here. I heard from one person that I could just take every opportunity to talk to her but I don’t want it to seem like I’m trying too hard because I barely even know her and I have no idea if she’s into me at all.

Any advice helps.

Why don't you just ask to join her for a lunch or dinner break and eat together? Or a coffee break? Get to know her as an acquaintance and perhaps eventually it can lead to friendship.

Since you know that she will be moving to a university 3 hours away, realize how impractical it is to have a LDR (long distance relationship) not to mention most LDRs fail due to inconvenience, hassle to see each other, long distance, travel expenses, very limited time and she will meet a lot of guys at the university for years. Be very realistic.

I wouldn't usually see anything meaningful out of someone moving away but you might want to get that information from her instead of going by bits and pieces of what you overhear or what someone else tells you. My first boyfriend was in a different university (also three hours away from each other) and it wasn't easy with the distance. Things are moving quickly at this age and for this reason I'm neutral on the issue (it will resolve itself fairly quickly due to lots of growth). Just see what she's about and don't jump the gun on anything just yet. Enjoy each others' company regardless of how you go about it. I think what's important is that you stay genuine and respect each other (don't make things awkward for anyone at work).

“Very good looking girl (?F) ”

You are unsure if “she” is female?

Next time you see her strike up a conversation and if it goes well ask her to do something in the evening at some point. Then hang out, have fun and hook up. Don’t over analyze the situation and not every interaction with a female needs to turn into a “relationship”.

Why don't you just ask to join her for a lunch or dinner break and eat together? Or a coffee break? Get to know her as an acquaintance and perhaps eventually it can lead to friendship.

 

Since you know that she will be moving to a university 3 hours away, realize how impractical it is to have a LDR (long distance relationship) not to mention most LDRs fail due to inconvenience, hassle to see each other, long distance, travel expenses, very limited time and she will meet a lot of guys at the university for years. Be very realistic.

I would do that but it’s difficult to have breaks lined up like that at my store. I’m close to a couple of the supervisors so maybe if I ask them they’ll help me out. Good idea.

I thought about the whole distance thing and I figured it’s still worth a shot. My aunt and uncle had a relationship with about the same distance and now they’ve been married for over 10 years. Obviously every situation is different but you’ll never know unless you try.

I wouldn't usually see anything meaningful out of someone moving away but you might want to get that information from her instead of going by bits and pieces of what you overhear or what someone else tells you. My first boyfriend was in a different university (also three hours away from each other) and it wasn't easy with the distance. Things are moving quickly at this age and for this reason I'm neutral on the issue (it will resolve itself fairly quickly due to lots of growth). Just see what she's about and don't jump the gun on anything just yet. Enjoy each others' company regardless of how you go about it. I think what's important is that you stay genuine and respect each other (don't make things awkward for anyone at work).

Thanks. I’m hoping there will be more opportunities for us to talk even if it’s not just us 2.

“Very good looking girl (?F) ”

 

You are unsure if “she” is female?

lol yeah I’m sure. I just don’t know her exact age is all.

Next time you see her strike up a conversation and if it goes well ask her to do something in the evening at some point. Then hang out, have fun and hook up. Don’t over analyze the situation and not every interaction with a female needs to turn into a “relationship”.

Thank you. So you think I should just try and talk to her the next time I see her, see how it goes and then ask if she wants to hang out as friends that same day?

I just don’t want to move too fast and make it seem like I’m asking her on a date when we’d only spoken that one time. Also what kind of stuff do you even do as friends?

No.. not “as friends”. If you want more than friends never start things as friends. Thats how you end up hearing about her bfs and going to the mall. Ask her on a date

No.. not “as friends”. If you want more than friends never start things as friends. Thats how you end up hearing about her bfs and going to the mall. Ask her on a date

Okay, but for sure the next time I see her or should I take a couple shifts to get to know her? I’m in a position where I don’t want to move too fast but also can’t move too slow.

Talk to her.. be flirty and see if she does the same. If so ask her out right then and there and get to know her on the date outside of work.

Talk to her.. be flirty and see if she does the same. If so ask her out right then and there and get to know her on the date outside of work.

Thanks, man. I really appreciate it. Been overthinking it so much when I know I really have nothing to lose.

I would do that but it’s difficult to have breaks lined up like that at my store. I’m close to a couple of the supervisors so maybe if I ask them they’ll help me out. Good idea.

 

I thought about the whole distance thing and I figured it’s still worth a shot. My aunt and uncle had a relationship with about the same distance and now they’ve been married for over 10 years. Obviously every situation is different but you’ll never know unless you try.

Gradually approach her in a nice, friendly manner without being perceived as weird. I still believe in establishing friendship first as opposed to flirtatious behavior which can come off as forced and unnatural. Show your kindness and sincerity which I think is the better approach than trying to be fake such as flirty, pretentious behavior.

I'm glad your aunt and uncle had the same geographical distance and married for over 10 years. I'm just saying that LDRs rarely work due to hassle and inconvenience which drifts people apart unintentionally. Just know that it's difficult for LDRs to endure and survive not to mention it's very challenging.

Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder. To the contrary, too much absence causes people to drift apart permanently. Realize reality check and you'll be ok.

Gradually approach her in a nice, friendly manner without being perceived as weird. I still believe in establishing friendship first as opposed to flirtatious behavior which can come off as forced and unnatural. Show your kindness and sincerity which I think is the better approach than trying to be fake such as flirty, pretentious behavior.

 

I'm glad your aunt and uncle had the same geographical distance and married for over 10 years. I'm just saying that LDRs rarely work due to hassle and inconvenience which drifts people apart unintentionally. Just know that it's difficult for LDRs to endure and survive not to mention it's very challenging.

 

Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder. To the contrary, too much absence causes people to drift apart permanently. Realize reality check and you'll be ok.

Thank you for the advice. I know it’d be difficult to travel if we began dating but it’s still worth a shot in my book. Plus if nothing does happen then I have nothing to lose by just asking her.

I’d just make your intentions clear and get to the point. I’d also not worry about a “relationship” at all. You can have fun with women without every interaction having to lead to a relationship, particularly not at your age. You should pick up a copy of the rational male.

What are you looking for what this girl, sex, or anything you can get? You might have to forget about dating or getting a proper date with her if that's what you want, she's moving in a month and she is very likely not thinking about dating right now especially long distance. Her mind is on a bunch of other things, dates I guarantee is not one of them at the moment.

BUT, she might be open to having a little fun before she leaves if you're open to that as well, which is totally doable IF she's even single. See if you can force a conversation with her, and it can be anything really. Talk about work, the shift, ask what time she gets off, ask if she's going to school (even though you overheard it, you can get a conversation out of it), ask what she's studying, etc. If she seems friendly and open to talking to you, ask her for her Snap or IG if you have that and maybe try to message her and go from there. I totally can relate how difficult it can be to flirt or talk while on the clock, especially when you're busy and if bosses or other co-workers are around. If it's like that all the time, then getting her number or social media would be your best bet. Good luck.

Ask her to hang out after a shift. Hey what time are you done? Oh me too wanna hang out for a bit afterwards. Easy!

Thank you so much. This is some of the best advice I’ve gotten. Tbh I’m not really sure what I’m looking for by asking her out. Kinda just want to do it and see where it goes. Maybe we keep in touch, maybe not kinda thing. It is difficult to have a decent conversation with coworkers at my store. I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I was able to talk with someone for more than 5-7 minutes without being interrupted in some way.

That said, do you think it would be weird if I was able to get a conversation going with her, and then if she got a break I could ask her to hang out or for her snap then? That’d be the only time it could be at least semi-private without all the other workers and customers hearing us but also could come off as a bit weird that I followed her on her break.

Ask her to hang out after a shift. Hey what time are you done? Oh me too wanna hang out for a bit afterwards. Easy!

Thank you. This is exactly what I was thinking of doing. Do you think asking her while she’s on break would be a good time? It’s really the only time when it could be semi-private at least but I could see it looking weird that I followed her on her break.