No contact on Valentine's Day

A reminder for those who may need it: DO NOT contact your ex on Valentine's Day! It is so tempting to reach out and reminisce over the good ol' days. Perhaps last year he ran you a bath and sprinkled rose petals on the water, perhaps you visited Paris and dined with a view of the Eiffel Tower or (most likely) perhaps they treated you poorly and they are completely undeserving of your contact, today or any other day. Allow this to be a day where you focus on yourself: self-care and compassion. Consider where you'd like to be in 6 months time, what you'd like to achieve. Know that no relationship can ever make you happy if you aren't at first happy entirely on your own, even when the nights seem long and you occasionally crave the way you once were together. They are the past. Love yourself: that's what matters most. xxx

I didn't contact mine. Either this year's or last year's.

Nor did they contact me.

Onwards & upwards.

I didn't contact mine. Either this year's or last year's.

 

Nor did they contact me.

 

Onwards & upwards.

I'm hoping next year, I'll be struggling to remember his name :) I have zero desire to contact my ex, and my expectation that he will contact me is diminishing too. He's never been that brave.

My ex contacted me a few days ago, we broke up on Valentine's Day last year. Ignore ignore. He emailed its the only place i haven't blocked him. Never has anything to say. Just reaches out basically.

My ex contacted me a few days ago, we broke up on Valentine's Day last year. Ignore ignore. He emailed its the only place i haven't blocked him. Never has anything to say. Just reaches out basically.

Interesting! And well done you for ignoring him! I have spent the last hour wishing I had heard from my ex, but it would have been inappropriate and it wouldn't do me any good. But it hurts. Proud of you for ignoring.

Stay strong, Jen. I can only speak for myself, but once I realized how ego-driven the desire for contact is—instead of heart-driven—I just kind of was able to shrug. Like: oh, hey, ego—I see you, and acknowledge your power, but I’ve got better things to do than dance with you.

Yeah, that whole "I don't want to be in a relationship with him, I just want to know he misses me" is really an ego thing, not a love thing.

And today is a made up Hallmark card holiday anyway. It has no more meaning than any other Thursday.

Stay strong, Jen. I can only speak for myself, but once I realized how ego-driven the desire for contact is—instead of heart-driven—I just kind of was able to shrug. Like: oh, hey, ego—I see you, and acknowledge your power, but I’ve got better things to do than dance with you.

This is exactly true Bluecastle! The desire for contact is not because I want to speak to him or want him in my life, but I sure as heck want him to want me in his! It just hurts to feel like I've been dropped and I'm looking for some indication that he still cares as validation for my worth. I realise that this must come from me and me only.

This is exactly true Bluecastle! The desire for contact is not because I want to speak to him or want him in my life, but I sure as heck want him to want me in his! It just hurts to feel like I've been dropped and I'm looking for some indication that he still cares as validation for my worth. I realise that this must come from me and me only.

Yeah, you see it. Stay this course and all that just burns off. It really does.

And, in the meantime, here's something I do believe is semi-true: that if you're thinking about them they're thinking about you. Maybe in a slightly different way, sure, but I kind of believe that energy is circular. So if you need a little dose of unhealthy validation, just tell yourself that, rather than shooting a text and getting into some knot.

Thank you Bluecastle, sending you lots of love. I am hoping that I will eventually get to a stage where I no longer believe I require this unhealthy validation, that all the validation I need comes from within myself.