Tips on moving on from the wrong person

Hi fellow Ena-members,

It’s been a long time since I’ve been online because I have been single for nearly 1,5 year now without even a single date. Right now I notice myself struggling once again with falling for the wrong kind of person.

Remembering the advice I read on here so many times, I’ve been busy with my own life, my career, my family, friends, taking care of my health, pursuing hobbies, reading self help literature, seeing my therapist,.... and still I suffer major heartache from falling for unattainable people. The woman I’m attracted to at this moment is 1. Probably taken and 2. I cant approach her due to my job .

Wont go into further details here, but the big picture is after all these years I can not stop myself from devoping unrequited feelings even how much I try to stop them. Because I do try, all my best. I hate unrequited love so much. And yet, here I am again..

Any advice to really break down those feelings, because focusing on other things really doesn’t help. At night I still end up alone crying my eyes out.

Thanks,

L

Have you ever looked at Baggagereclaim.com? It may help you understand your emotional unavailability. It helped me. You need to deal with your trust issues and allowing people in. If you choose or pursue the wrong people, they never get close and it is safe. Time to address theee issues.

Have you address this with your therapist, and what does he or she recommend?

You might need an anti-depressant to at least perk you up temporarily because I think you've gone beyond just being lonely. You mentioned last summer that you cry yourself to sleep at night. This is not good. Nobody will want to be with you if you're depressed. Have you tried meeting people through Meetup or LGBT dating sites? You have said you were attracted to people already in relationships. That obviously is not going to work. What have you tried?

Hi fellow Ena-members,

 

It’s been a long time since I’ve been online because I have been single for nearly 1,5 year now without even a single date. Right now I notice myself struggling once again with falling for the wrong kind of person.

 

Remembering the advice I read on here so many times, I’ve been busy with my own life, my career, my family, friends, taking care of my health, pursuing hobbies, reading self help literature, seeing my therapist,.... and still I suffer major heartache from falling for unattainable people. The woman I’m attracted to at this moment is 1. Probably taken and 2. I cant approach her due to my job .

Wont go into further details here, but the big picture is after all these years I can not stop myself from devoping unrequited feelings even how much I try to stop them. Because I do try, all my best. I hate unrequited love so much. And yet, here I am again..

 

Any advice to really break down those feelings, because focusing on other things really doesn’t help. At night I still end up alone crying my eyes out.

 

Thanks,

L

I say this with the kindest intentions, you should seek professional advice. You have a troubling pattern, and are obviously affected by it if you're crying so often.