Ive been loosing sleep over a girl

So when I started university, I moved in to an apartment where some rooms where being rented. One of the tenants was this girl, at first we didn't see each other much, other then the casual hello or her walking by. Eventually she started asking me for stuff, simple thing like if I had some butter I could lend her, then she asked if I could loan her some money, which I did. This kept going on for quite a while.

One day she asked me if I could cook some pasta for her, and we ate together in the living room. This ended up happing a few times, until eventually she decided to cook us a dinner, probably cause I'm at cooking. Next week she said we should eat something other then pasta, so i said ok, well why don't you tell me what to buy at the supermarket and ill bring it over so you can cook, and so I did.

For about two weeks we did the same thing a few times, we usually had dinner together. One day she wanted me to buy something I had no clue on how to buy so she came with me. Next day she asked me if I could loan her some more money so she could take a bus ride to her parents house.

Next week we went shopping together again and week went on the same way, until Friday came again and she asked me for money again. At this point I'm starting to realize i like this girl.

The following week went on as normal until Thursday came around, I texted her to see if she wanted to eat something, she said she was sick, and she suggested we should order some pizza. We ended up eating pizza in her room, we had some mild conversations until it was a bit late at night, after which I went off to my room. Few minutes later I knocked on her door and told her I wanted to tell her something serious, so I went in and I told her I liked her, to which she said she had a boyfriend, and ex boyfriend who she wasn't sure if she was getting back together with. I asked her weather I had a chance with her and she just said lets continue what we have and see what happens.

After that day things kept on going normally weirdly enough we kept on having dinner together.

two days after, she hits me up out of the blue early in the morning and asks me if I could loan her some more money, this time it was quite a bit, she said her grandma was in the hospital and she needed to send her some money, I ended up giving her half of what se asked as I had already spent all my money on groceries. She asked me for a bit more afterwards and I gave her what I had left for that week. While after she asked me of I was staying over the weekend, she sort of implied she wanted me to so I did, I had another talk with her about how I felt but she just gave me the same answer.

And this week we went shopping again, but I'm a bit afraid this whole thing is going nowhere.

I'm afraid she might be taking advantage of me, i buy all the groceries with my money, even though she does all the cooking I still spend a lot on groceries. and she's asked me for money a few times, and I'm not sure if the whole story about her sick grandma is even true.

I'm not really a very romantic guy, I'm not good at telling when a girl likes me, not good at socializing, not a good looking guy either. We haven't really got intimate in terms of touching or anything of sorts, the most that's happened is she showed me some tattoos she had on her belly. Turns out I really like this girl but I have some serious doubts. Weather she's taking advantage of me or she actually likes me is a complete mystery to me, hence me loosing sleep over this.

She seems genuine about what she says most of the time but every time I talk to her about us she gives me the same answer. I just feel stupid about this whole thing, she's 18 and I'm 21, she's practically just my neighbor. She talks more with another older tenant then she ever does with me, kisses him in the cheeks, she never does that with me, I've done many errands for her, like walking to the pharmacy to buy her stuff multiple times, or cooking her dinner when she was sick, never really got any affection from her. Seriously feel like I'm just getting played real good, but I sure hope not. I just want some advice, they say love makes you blind.

I never really get anxiety, never really lose sleep over anyone but this time this whole situation is killing me slowly.

She's not interested in you as more than a friend. If she was, she would have been thrilled and enthusiastic when you told her you had feelings. She didn't, so at best she feel lukewarm I'm sorry to say.

I'm not sure that she's playing you. She probably like you and likes hanging out. But it does sound like she takes advantage of your feelings.

Stop lending her money. If she remains friends then you will know whether the friendship is real or not.

By the way, the fact that you think she could be lying about a sick grandma should be enough for you to lose your feelings fast.

I don't think she feels the same way about you; you've asked her twice now. She likes the companionship and the cash :( Don't give her so much money. I don't understand people who go around asking others to support them, and it sounds like she asks for everything you've got. She's not your kid; tell her you're broke and find a better, more self-reliant friend if she complains about being cut off.

well, she did get enthusiastic but I feel she's just friend zoning me, I've asked her out a few times, she was sick so she gave me an excuse, but I just feel like she's avoiding that.

Its too bad, I guess I should ask her what she considers me, i really like this girl but this is probably the first time i might be allowing myself to get blindly played with, and the first time I get anxious over someone. It'd kill me if she just gives me the same excuse again

She's obviously using you for money. You've told her you like her twice and she rejected you. Can you really not see that she's using you?? Who asks someone that's basically a stranger for money? She sounds like a terrible person.

Oh no. You have given this girl way too much money and it needs to stop. As well as paying for her groceries (I don't care if she cooks them or not, you're paying for it) and running her errands. She is 100% using you. If you stop giving her money and doing things for her, and she still wants to be your friend then fine I guess, but she already told you she's not interested and she has a boyfriend. AND an ex boyfriend she is thinking about getting back with. What?! Do these sound like the type of morals you would look for in a woman? Even if she did like you, she would either be cheating on her boyfriend or leaving him for someone else. If she will cheat with you she will cheat on you. But that's not even a concern because she has twice told you she is not interested.

Asking her again will only put you farther into the friend zone. Just don't. And please stop being her bank

It sounds like you know what's going on. Do not lend her money or buy her stuff, let her bfs do that.

-she started asking me for stuff, simple thing like if I had some butter I could lend her, then she asked if I could loan her some money, which I did.

-she asked me for money again.

-she said she had a boyfriend

-she hits me up out of the blue early in the morning and asks me if I could loan her some more money, this time it was quite a bit

-She asked me for a bit more afterwards

I'm afraid she might be taking advantage of me

Stop giving her money.

Quick update, had a talk with the girl, right after she hit me up today, asked me for some money again, I asked her, to set this whole thing clear, she says she's stopped talking to her boyfriend, and that she does like me, but the she gave me the same lets continue what we have and see where it takes us. This really kills me, I've never felt so stupid in my life, not like I feel now.

She asked for money so she could go back to her mums tomorrow, which I gave her, it was all I had so that means I cant go back to my parents house myself since I have none left. A while after I went into the kitchen, saw an empty box of dominoes chicken wing and some other thing in the garbage which I'm pretty positive she ordered, coincidentally right after she asked for the money.

Just kills me she knows how i fell and she plays with my feeling like that. I've only ever been nice to her, and i told her that if she just wanted me as a friend to just tell me and id stop bothering her with my feelings. At this point I'm probably the dumbest guy on planet earth and i don't even know what to do with myself. Just how can someone be this horrible.

Soooo you listened to no one, asked her again which friend zones you farther, and gave her more money. She likes your money. Not you. No one that cares about you would treat you like this. I can not believe you gave her all the money you had after she told you this for the THIRD time that she doesn’t want to date you. I am baffled. Of course she wants to continue what you have. She gets free money without having to give anything in return. She’s not even spending it on what she says. She’s a manipulative liar. *face palm*

yeah, I guess I am stupid, I'm still just a 21yo guy just starting university, I've never really had a GF before, every time I've asked a girl out, or told a girl that I like her I've just gotten rejected. Guess I just got manipulated into thinking I had a chance with this girl. She probably knows this. At this point I guess imma just stop talking to her. this has gotten too far. I'm pretty much just embarrassed by this whole thing, hence I asked for advice here rather then any of my friends.

No no no you are NOT stupid. That’s not what I’m implying. I get it, we have all been there. When I was your age you wouldn’t believe the crap I put up with. I am sorry if I came off harsh that was not my intention. Don’t be embarrassed just take this as a learning experience.

And yes. She does know this. And she’s using it to manipulate you. And yes it has gone too far. You seem like a genuinely great guy that will make someone very happy one day, and that girl will reciprocate that. It just won’t be this current girl.

I think it’s best you do end the “friendship” because she knows just the right way to manipulate you into doing what she wants. I haven’t read one positive quality about her. She’s nice when she’s nice because she knows how to work you to get what she wants.

I’m sorry you are going through this, and again don’t get down on yourself. This will pass and you will know what NOT to look for in a girl next time!

I only write from the experience from when I was your age and what I put up with and went through Again I did not mean to make it sound like I am trying to beat you down. Quite the opposite actually

yeah, I understand, I just think this makes me rather stupid if I'm honest. In my head I know fully well I'm being played, off course, in my heart I liked her quite a bit. thnx for giving me this advice. I would've continued with this hoping I was wrong, I'm just gonna tell her whatever there even is between us is over, and to just stay out of my way.

You didn't really come off as harsh anyways, I like to look at things thorough an objective and empirical lens, people often call me a pessimist, I consider my self a realist. I just said I'm ashamed because I failed to think this thorough clearly and got played even though I heavily suspected it, and for the first time ever in my life I let anxiety get to me. I guess its a good learning experience just like you said, lightning strikes the same spot once, but not twice.

Does she or her "friends" have a drug habit? Why is she hitting you up for money? Steer clear of this manipulator. Being nice to a liar and sociopath/parasite is foolish. You are not dealing with a normal person here. The usual moral compass does not apply.

She asked for money so she could go back to her mums tomorrow, which I gave her. Just how can someone be this horrible.

hey man, don't know what the deal is with this girl to you but you realize what you could do with all the money you lend(give) her?

You could actually just spend that on prostitutes, practice your craft in bed to be better in bed with woman who actually wants to be with you. It would be a better choice than continuing to give her money.

You could even just go to a casino, bet it all and lose that and still would be better than giving all your money to her for no reason.

What everyone is telling you is, STOP GIVING HER MONEY. I bet when you stop giving her money, the other problems will go away.

My suggestion is not to think about her anymore.