Trouble connecting with people?

Hey! I've enrolled in college for about 6 months now. I used to be a really shy guy, bad at making new friends and all but when I started college I started saying hi to everyone and be friends with anyone given the chance. Its a little difficult and awkward at first but I kind of got the hang out it and now I know quite a lot of people which is great!

Although we were kind of friends, we greet each other and all but usually thats it...I just cant connect with them. I have a few friends that are bit closer than the rest but it not the same feeling i get when i hang out with the ones I met in highschool who spent the last 5 years with me. I recently hang out with my highschool friends and I noticed that they have the same problems as well...

I get that friendship takes time but i see that some people can connect really well. Some people is already in a relationship after a month or two. Most people has groups of friends they usually hang out with. I don't have a fixed group of friends I usually hang out with but I mix around with a bunch of groups and I end up being the "outsider" or the guy that shows up once in awhile in every group.

I tried cutting down the number friendships and stick to the groups I felt happiest with but honestly I still feel that I dont belong anywhere. I find it hard to connect with people. Most of my friendships are shallow. I cant find someone that I can spend most of my time with. Its really awful to feel lonely when I am surrounded with friends.

How do I connect better with people? I tried taking genuine interest in them...like I would ask them what they do for fun? trying to get them to talk about themselves, but mostly they just gives me answers that I have nothing to continue off. My friend told me that sometimes I gives off really boring replies. I admit I do. For example when people tell me something and I just dont know what else to say, so I replied oh that's cool! and I ask a boring question regarding the subject. I guess I am just not hype about the things they are talking about. I thought it would just come off as fake if i pretend to be hype about it. How do I even connect with someone that dont even share much common interest? I notice some people dont even put effort in the conversation. Its even harder to connect with these people.

I guess I just really want to find someone to do things together. As much as I enjoy my own company to do stuff like gaming, walking around the park or catching a movie, I would like to find some company I enjoy to do stuff together. I thought maybe the people around me are just not on the same frequency with me. Maybe the problem is my social skills. I have no idea. I tried dating apps but people with interesting bio didn't match with me and all it does is hurt my self esteem haha, so I where do I even meet new people??

Well, any advice is appreciated and sorry for the long post. Cheers! :)

The best way to connect with people is to broaden your interests. You pigeon hole yourself to limited things, like gaming. You are an adult, find other things to try...even once to experience something different like hiking, or playing a sport. Do new things.

Well, I think friendships are much like relationships. Think about it, how many girlfriends do you need? One. How many friends do you really need? Just try to find one guy who is similar to you who you can hang out with.

In grade school and high school we grow in parallel with the kids around us, and that creates a foundational bond of familiarity. When we're younger we find also it easier to homogenize with others.

As adults we're more solidified into our own personalities, and we won't be everyone's cup of tea. That's why adults form different degrees of acquaintanceship to meet different needs. So your tennis friend may be lousy at conversation, a movie friend might not share too many of your other interests, a hiking companion may not share your politics, and a friend in whom you confide may not like crowds or want to go to parties with you.

It's all about respecting the limits of others while forming superficial bonds over any points of commonality you can find. Over time some people might evolve into a deeper friendship with you, while most others will simply remain acquaintances of convenience.

With millions of people in the world, each viewing life through a different lens, it's rare to strike simpatico with someone who's puzzle piece fits with yours. That's not a reflection on you, it's just the odds once we operate outside the petri dish of forced socialization we grew up with.

Head high, and cultivate your ability to enjoy people at face value. The right people will shake out into good friends, while the others are passing through in ways that can still have positive impacts on you.