Was i right to cut my father out of my life?

My parents split when I was 2. I can remember when I was 7 my dad pointing to a man and told me that's the guy my mum cheating on my dad with then when I was 5 he'd tell me to shout at my mum for not spending the child support on me rather than the bills (My mum was living on student loan as she was at university trying to get a better job to support me and her). He'd be overly affectionate to the point where the whole family thought it was weird. He'd put me to bed at night until the age of 20, he'd ring me every two days and if I was busy he'd go moody with me and cut off my phone (The contract was in his name, which when it ended I wanted it in my name to improve my credit which he didn't like as he used it to control me). I remember somewhere where i used to always go to see my dad when i was very young, he told me it was because it would be a shock to go to his house (He told me that my mum stopped me from seeing him because of her boyfriend but she actually stopped me from seeing him because he used to hit her and she was scared he'd do the same to me, this makes sense as his dad used to hit his mum so he grew up thinking it was okay) when in actual fact it was a contact centre as he could only see me while being supervised to ensure he wouldn't abuse me.

He lives a two hour drive away so I'd have to get the train which would take four hours each way so I could only see him one weekend a month but he would never make the effort to come see me. (I lived at my own place so he could stay over). I added my uncle on Facebook (I've never met him) which he didn't like as they don't get along. He rang me and told me that I HAVE to delete him on Facebook and that I have no reason to have him as a friend. My mum showed me messages between my uncle and her and my uncle said that he's scared that my uncle will tell me something about his past.

He's lied to me all my life and manipulated me. Whenever I would ring him for advice he'd just tell me to move in with him.

How old are you now? How is your relationship with your mother? Become financially independent and get him out of your life.

Why did you allow this?:

He'd put me to bed at night until the age of 20. I lived at my own place so he could stay over.

I'm still 20, i stopped talking to him nearly a year ago now. I'm very close with my mother and always have been. I have a full time job and have nothing connecting me and him anymore.

Allow what? Him putting me to bed? I tried to stop him but he'd tell me that i'm disrespectful and ungrateful to have a father that cares

I think removing your after from your life would be a very good idea for you.

I already have, i feel more free now. Why do you think that?

Does your mother know about this? It's super creepy.

I'm still 20. Him putting me to bed? I tried to stop him but he'd tell me that i'm disrespectful and ungrateful to have a father that cares

Yes, she said he's always been clingy and over affectionate towards me, she said he's very insecure as his dad left him when he was younger

I don't think there is any reason that you should need to dramatically "cut dad out of your life." if you aren't on speaking terms with him - just let it be. He IS out of your life. I would not write a letter severing ties or do anything dramatic. I would just let sleeping dogs lie. I really think that if the Uncle is a safe person and mom has communicated with him and he is nothing like dad - you SHOULD have ties or a connection to your grandparents or aunts and uncles and cousins if you want to if your dad is the black sheep and they are safe people. If he does contact you -- and its okay to get a Christmas card form him but if he does anything beyond that that is inappropriate i think you are old enough to be able to tell him that you are uncomfortable or don't welcome that type of communication. You can keep him at arm's length without him knowing that you are.

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