moonandsun Posted April 26, 2018 Share Posted April 26, 2018 I started seeing this guy over three weeks ago... We met two years ago at an event and we had a very short fling.. it ended because I wasn't feeling it at the time and we both kind of disappeared on each other. Three weeks ago, we reconnected and have been on 4 dates since. He has been really great, inviting me on dates and wanting me to come to the cottage with him and his friends (which I declined because feel like it's too early to be sleeping in the same bed with him yet). He is leaving to the US for 5 months for work at the end of the month (I'm from Canada), and I don't know what to do. I can feel myself liking him more and more as we spend time together. We did discuss what we want earlier, him saying he wants a relationship ideally but he understands if long distance would be hard. I had said that I just got out of a ldr and I can't do that again... But now it feels like both endings may suck. Us being in an ldr would be hard, but us not being together at all would be even harder. I know that since he is leaving , there is no point of identifying the relationship, but at the same time, we are planning to do a bunch of couple activities and I'm meeting his friends and all... Am I supposed to stay non -exclusive? Am I supposed to want to have more? I am honestly so confused. Anyone go through a similar situation of the right person, bad timing? How do you deal with it? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 26, 2018 Share Posted April 26, 2018 Unfortunately he's looking to kill some time until he leaves, but is not looking for anything serious. If you want to have some fun for the next month that's fine. I started seeing this guy over three weeks ago. He is leaving to the US for 5 months for work at the end of the month Link to comment
DanZee Posted April 26, 2018 Share Posted April 26, 2018 You just put the relationship on hold. No, you're not exclusive. If you find someone else in the next 5 months, so be it. But when he comes back and if you're still available, then restart the relationship again. You can check in with him every so often while he's away, but no LDR. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted April 26, 2018 Share Posted April 26, 2018 Just wait until he returns, and pick it up from there. Link to comment
maew Posted April 26, 2018 Share Posted April 26, 2018 Am I supposed to stay non -exclusive? Am I supposed to want to have more? I am honestly so confused. Anyone go through a similar situation of the right person, bad timing? How do you deal with it? There is no supposed to here... the heart wants what it wants, whether that is to move on or to hold on no matter what. It might seem like the right person, but if the timing is bad, then that person isn't right for you. He is saying he wants a relationship ideally but ... I've heard this in several forms and variations, and have learned that what they really want is either for you to take initiative and end it, or for you to just go along with what THEY want. Link to comment
Andrina Posted April 26, 2018 Share Posted April 26, 2018 If you just got out of a LDR, why don't you just enjoy some time with girlfriends, hobbies/interests, etc? While he's gone, if he communicates with you, then go ahead and reply if you wish. Just keep it light and flirty, or whatever makes you comfortable. And in the meantime, if fate sends you some hunk, then you're free and single to go along with that romance. If one doesn't show up, 5 months is the blink of an eye and you can see, over time, if this guy is good dating material or not. Link to comment
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