O.D.D younger sister

Me and my younger sister were really close when we were younger. We're still pretty close. Actually, I think out of everyone else, she feels closest to me. But she has ODD. Anxiety, depression, and ADHD all run in my family, and I got them all. Yay.

Since she was young, she's always had anger issues. When I was about six, they turned to me. Then to my even younger sister. Me, my mom, and my youngest sibling are all really struggling to deal with her. I love her, but that's really what makes it hurt so much. I don't remember much about how it happened, its just a blur. But I do remember feeling terrible and alone after every fight. It was just screaming. Then, one day when we were home alone, she shoved me hard down the stairs. Longest 30 min. ever.

She had hurt me before, but only in small kicks. It somehow escalated to her punching me in the gut until I threw up while calling me a screwup.

I told my parents, of course. They care, but they're so beaten down that they are almost desensitized. But its still going on. With ADHD, I'm annoying. Its okay, I know I am. But everyone gets tired of me, so they end up acting like I don't exist. I didn't have much confidence in the first place, but that combined with someone I love telling me I'm a waste of space is harsh. I didn't really believe I was worth anything.

Internally, I did get better. I think more of myself now. But that wasn't because of anyone else giving me a hand. It was solely because God showed me He loved me and I pulled myself back up. But that doesn't make it hurt any less.

She could have her hand raised to hit me, but my parents will open the door and just tell us to keep it down. Its like, do you not see what's happening? I get so depressed and sad and hurt that by now I'm an expert at hiding it. I was already terrible at trusting others because everyone I've ever let in hurt me. But since I'm so annoying, I'm too scared to get close enough to trust anybody. Who can I talk to?

I can't tell anyone why I flinch when they touch me or jump back when they try to hug me. All my friends think its funny and try to scare me with it. I go through this everyday, but today was enough to make me sign up and register on this site just for anyone to talk to. Please help me out. Its hard to stay happy when you feel worthless.

If you're young enough to live at home, are you also in school? If so, make an appointment with your school's mental health counselor for referrals to someone who specializes in domestic violence.

If you are not in school, consider contacting one of the domestic violence hotlines on the Internet for a referral to someone local who will work with you.