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Thread: Expecting the talk tonight

  1. #1
    AloneNoMore
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    Expecting the talk tonight

    Met a girl online June of last year with a daughter. The father for the daughter left the equation and signed over all rights to the mother and hasn't even had contact with the 4 year old in 2 years.

    We have lived together for the past 6+months.

    She has no family locally and they come to visit every so often.

    Her parents influence the relationship to the point whenever they visit she always asks if I need to take a couple days away. Never heard of needing a vacation from a relationship. She once again had family visit and suggested I take a couple days away which in a manner I probably shouldn't have said I'll take more than that and packed up every bit of my belongings. She even helped me by tossing all my clothes at me. I went back later that night to try to talk to her she wouldn't even hug or kiss me and said she was mad I came back.

    She sent me a good morning this morning with a I need to collect my thoughts and will respond to you later tonight.

    Her daughter thinks of me as her fatherly figure.

    Not much I can do but wait for the cleverly crafted easy let down text.

  2. #2
    indea08
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    -What is the issue with her family?

    -How good is the relationship in general?

    -What do you want? To stay or go?

  3. #3
    AloneNoMore
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    Her mom just wants to be the center of attention so I'm always felt like the 3rd wheel or pushed out of the house.

    The relationship I feel has been really good no arguments outside of me always being told to leave when family comes or when there is minor disagreements. A gffain though I guess everyone sees the health of a relationship how they want to see it

    I want to stay but the whole I need to collect my thoughts tends to lean towards let me call it off.

  4. #4
    indea08
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    Her mom will always be her mom, so if you want to be with her long term then you need to work on having a good relationship with her family.

    If you really want to stay then don't throw out statements like "I'll take more than that" when offered some space. If you don't like her offering you "a few days off" (what does that even mean?) then tell her you don't like it and why. Have a discussion about it instead of throwing a tantrum like a child.

    But MOST IMPORTANTLY, this woman has a child who is/will grow attached to you. If you are not 100% in this relationship for the rest of your life, then stay away from that child. It's not okay for you to continue letting him/her look at you as a father when you're back and forth about staying or going. Please don't be so selfish.

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  6. #5
    AloneNoMore
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    That's the point I don't want to keep going and coming but I also shouldn't be told to leave for days every time a family member visits or something gets into disagreement. I want to be there for the child and I have.

  7. #6
    MissCanuck
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    What kind of influence do her parents exert? Do they not like you, or?

    Also, whose home are you living in, or did you buy/rent a new place together?

    I have to say, you two have moved pretty fast. You met less than a year ago and have already lived together for more than 6 months. This is particularly concerning when a small child is involved. That's not to say you're a bad guy at all, but I question the judgement of parent who races through a relationship like this. It might speak to a greater impulsive nature and lack of sound decision-making skills on her part. Whose idea was it to move in so soon?

  8. #7
    RainyCoast
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    where do you both live? rent a place together?

    sounds like you are told to pack when family arrives,,,and if a partner is good enough to flat share with and play dad to a child, he's good enough to stay in his own dang home.

    why does she have leverage to do this? where is the inequity (her place, her paying all of it,..) ?

  9. #8
    AloneNoMore
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    I have a house that I am paying for that I am not staying in and staying at her place.

    She isn't ready to move into my place having to move everything and move daughters school.

  10. #9
    MissCanuck
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    Have you ever met her family?

  11. #10
    AloneNoMore
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissCanuck [Register to see the link]
    Have you ever met her family?
    Yep mother 4 times father twice

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