Can a guy and a girl just be friends?

Hi all,

My bf moved to hus current city in February 2016. He met his next door neighbor soon after he moved here. She is a year younger than me and she parties a lot. I met my bf in August 2016.

He is a very affectionate person towards me. Texts me all day long, very attentive, and introduced me to all his family and most close friends, including her. But, i met her only when we wwre walking to his apartment and just had a "hi how are you" talk.

At the beginning of our relationship, he went over to her place to party maybe once a month. He gave keys of his apt to her to let his dog out on the days he work.

Lately, they been doing stuff a lot more often. Granted, they never hang out alone, but my bf is only friends with her and meets her other friends through stuff like this.

First they started to go play bingo every monday. Now tonight, he went to her surprise birthday party.

He doesnt normally talk about her unless they go out that day. But i cannot feel comfortable about this. She is an attractive lady and very outgoing like my bf is. I feel like they have more in common than he and i do.

Every time he goes out with her, i get extremely jealous. Can a guy and a girl really be just friends? Am i just being ridiculous? I am thinking of breaking up with him in two weeks because of this issue. But would that be right decision? I just dont want to stay around and eventually get cheated on

you've posted this already, it hasn't changed, you're still not comfortable...

whether they're friends or more and whether this is acceptable is a moot point, you can't get yourself to be okay with it, and he's like "deal".

i'd call it a day rather than try to force myself to endure more.

have you figured out if you can get the money for the vacation back? or take someone else?

you've posted this already, it hasn't changed, you're still not comfortable...

 

whether they're friends or more and whether this is acceptable is a moot point, you can't get yourself to be okay with it, and he's like "deal".

 

i'd call it a day rather than try to force myself to endure more.

 

have you figured out if you can get the money for the vacation back? or take someone else?

Cant get the money back. Thats why i stated that i am waiting to break up in two weeks. That would be after the vacation

do you mean take the trip with him, then break up? or break up before the trip?

edit, i just saw the correction.

okay. can you get space on the trip if this turn into an argument there?

do you mean take the trip with him, then break up? or break up before the trip?

 

edit, i just saw the correction.

 

okay. can you get space on the trip if this turn into an argument there?

Idk. It will be the same room.

I like him a lot. I hate to end things for another girl

I feel like they have more in common than he and i do.

This is what the core of the issue is. You are insecure in the relationship. You are not sure if it's right.

The presence of a woman friend who has lots in common with him brings that worry to the open.

I have went through the exact same thing.

I did leave, he ended up with her. I felt like I actually facilitated that. It didn't last.

In hindsight I would have stayed and worked on the relationship. I would have been me and if he had cheated then that would have been that.

This is what the core of the issue is. You are insecure in the relationship. You are not sure if it's right.

The presence of a woman friend who has lots in common with him brings that worry to the open.

I have went through the exact same thing.

I did leave, he ended up with her. I felt like I actually facilitated that. It didn't last.

In hindsight I would have stayed and worked on the relationship. I would have been me and if he had cheated then that would have been that.

I do also feel like by talking about this, I put the thought of her in his head. But i cannot help with it. I am extremely insecure about this

You have posted about this multiple times. This is how I see it;

He met her before he met you, YOU are his girlfriend and not his neighbor. She is not someone new, so why are you so jealous of her? If he wanted her to be his girlfriend, than it would have happened already, even before you came into the picture.

The more you are jealous and thinks he's going to cheat on you. Your actions is going to push him away.

i think long distance isn't helping this either

You have posted about this multiple times. This is how I see it;

 

He met her before he met you, YOU are his girlfriend and not his neighbor. She is not someone new, so why are you so jealous of her? If he wanted her to be his girlfriend, than it would have happened already, even before you came into the picture.

 

The more you are jealous and thinks he's going to cheat on you. Your actions is going to push him away.

My insecurity with her started when I saw that ny bf liked a few pictures of her on her fb. Then I saw her post this status in April of last year: "Best neighbor award goes to XYZ (my bf). Thanks for making me a delicious dinner!"

This made mw think that my bf was actually interested in her and tried it with her, but she wasn't interested or whatever. But when i asked him he says that he just gave her a cup of food since he made a lot of it, and never had any interest in her. But i think i am having trust issues with him.

- my trust issue is that when we were 3 months into dating, we had some rocky times. And i called it quits with him because he wasnt sure if he wanted to call me his gf yet. But then we never could stop talking, but he reactivated his online dating profile. He asked me to go out with him. And we did. We had an amazing time that ended up in his bed. The next day, I created a fake profile and messaged him in his online dating account, and he was more than open to getting to know this new girl (which was actually me). He denied anything to do with me and only mentioned that he been dating someone for three months but it didnt work out. And things ended a month ago and that he was ready to move on (all lies, I was in his bed the. Ight before). Then i texted him asked what he was doing and he told me he was watching tv, but he was actually trying to get this fake girl's phone number on the other side.

So that shook my trust in him. He understood that it was a fake profile after all, but he never know that it was me. Then he deleted his profile altogether the next day.

So.. i Am super insecure. And i know it wasnt right for me to create a fake profile and talk to him. But i wanted to see if he would respond.

Good god, end the relationship.

Good god, end the relationship.

Elaborate? Why?

Because look at what you're doing. You've resorted to sneaking,lying, tricking.

You found what you were looking for and continue anyway? I don't get that. Why play detective of you're going to stay with him no matter what you find. I'd rather live in ignorance.

This girl is not the issue. She is one of many situations that you will face with this guy because....you don't trust him.

If only people could see that no proof is actually needed. The fact you do not trust him is in itself enough to leave.

Because look at what you're doing. You've resorted to sneaking,lying, tricking.

You found what you were looking for and continue anyway? I don't get that. Why play detective of you're going to stay with him no matter what you find. I'd rather live in ignorance.

This girl is not the issue. She is one of many situations that you will face with this guy because....you don't trust him.

 

If only people could see that no proof is actually needed. The fact you do not trust him is in itself enough to leave.

I was so into him that i couldnt let him go. And now i am even more in love with him.

I guess I told myself that we weren't exclusive yet and that was okay. And a few weeks later he asked me to be his girlfriend and told me that he would give his 100% to our relationship. So i guess that helped with overcoming that in the past. But i am an insecure person overall.

I have lots of reasons. One is that i am a foreigner. I grew up in another country, culture, religion, and language. Many american classics are very new to me. What everyone knows and grow up with are the things that i ask "what is that?" To. And i feel like everyone has more in common with him or anyone i would date who is american

Yes, it is possible to be "jest friends" if there is NO attraction on either end. If there is, then no. That's called unrequited love.

It is my opinion, that for men at least, if is that if one puts a significant amount of time and effort into another person, that there IS an attraction there.

It sounds like you will argue with him the entire vacation about this. Yes break up. He's allowed to be friendly with neighbors he's had before you met. However, it bothers you so end it. You are not ending it 'because of her' you are ending it because of you.

It will be the same room. I hate to end things for another girl

if it was me i would ditch him before the vacation. you dont trust him (hence the fake profile) and rightly so (his response).

so spend the time you would have been on the vacation for doing something more worthwhile than spending time with your soon to be ex.

ditch him and move on.