How to make your heart move on......

Hello everyone. I am new here and Im sort of desperate for advice. I am a 24 y/o girl who feels really lost and alone. I am two months out of a relationship and I feel I am just getting worse. I cry constantly and sometimes I can't focus on work because I am so caught up in my thoughts. I just can't seem to let go....I really still believe this man was the love of my life. Besides him dumping me, he made me the happiest girl in the world.

Our relationship had not too many problems. I was happy, and he expressed to me how happy he was on a regular. He told me he loved me all the time and told me that I made him feel safe and comfortable. We communicated great and he kept up with his commitments.

The night we broke up keeps replaying in my head. We had just got back from a trip visiting his sister and brother and law. While on the trip we got into our first real argument. He was angry I wasn't being talkative enough to his sisters friends(who I will have never seen again btw). I know it sounds silly, but we ended up ignoring each other the rest of the night. We talked once we got back to the apartment. We apologized to one another and he said he was scared we were going to break up but very happy we didn't. The next day we returned to his home. We made love, watched a movie together and I woke up the next morning to make him breakfast and we headed to work. That same night he broke up with me sobbing uncontrollably.

To this day, I am still terribly hurt. I loved him and I know he loved me. I am not naive or inexperienced with relationships, so I know we had something special. I miss him every day. I know people say you should move on and let that relationship go.

Im finding it sooooo hard. Most of my exes I said good riddance! They were terrible and most certainly didn't love me or make me a better person. However, this man.....I have never fell so hard. I haven't spoken to him since the breakup and a part of me is desperate for him to return. I am overall a very confident, independent and strong woman. I don't let a lot of things get to me...but this is breaking me. What can I do to make my heart move on?

Sorry to hear this. How long were you dating? It seems his sister/family influenced after the trip. Was this the final straw or the only incompatibility?

Have you gone no contact and deleted blocked him from social media?

We had just got back from a trip visiting his sister and brother and law. While on the trip we got into our first real argument. He was angry I wasn't being talkative enough to his sisters friends.

This was the first REAL argument we have been in. Other than a few disagreements, we have been able to talk through our issues. Everyone I tell assumes that his sister was involved in the breakup. I tried reaching out to her via social media to talk but I got no response.

We dated for 6 months

What was the reason he gave to end it?

He gave me some lame excuse. He said that we were incompatible because Im not as “outgoing” when with strangers. I don’t think thats the real reason, but he was adamant that we will never work. I will not and did not beg him. Even though we never had a fight in six months, had similar interest/life goals/passions. As far as compatibility it was a 9/10.

After 6 mos of dating some incompatibilities come out. It seems this has been on his mind and after speaking with family they agreed. Sometimes the reasons don't matter because they can just be exits plans. Block and delete him and all his people from social media

He said that we were incompatible because Im not as “outgoing” when with strangers. he was adamant that we will never work.

I think he was already going to break-up with you. When he said "I'm scared we are going to break up" I think he was already going too.

People often breakup on trips.

I do know his reasons are probably sugar-coated and/or lies. So Im not really interested in the WHY. I just don't understand why you would leave when things were good. I know things were good because he drilled me one night saying asking me was I hiding my true colors from him because I as seemingly perfect....he got all neurotic about how we never fought.

After 6 mos of dating some incompatibilities come out. It seems this has been on his mind and after speaking with family they agreed. Sometimes the reasons don't matter because they can just be exits plans. Block and delete him and all his people from social media

If that was the case and he's been planning on breaking up why all of the "I love yous", meeting family and friends and coworkers. We finalized our France vacation the day before the break up?!? See how confusing that is

I think he was already going to break-up with you. When he said "I'm scared we are going to break up" I think he was already going too.

 

People often breakup on trips.

Do you think he just has cold feet? Would you take him back?

I do think its a case of his neuroticism. I do want to take him back. However I don't think its a good idea. He maybe needs to grow up a little if he did indeed get cold feet.

Do you think he just has cold feet? Would you take him back?

Last relationship I was in never had time to go bad. It's hard to deal with.

Try mental redirection, when you find your thoughts drifting to him, think about where you want to be in a year, 5 years (excepting love life), write a letter to a friend, throw yourself into a challenging hobby, go and visit someone, work out. Do you things. Imagine how your life can be most awesome if you have to fly solo. It's hard going, but better than staring at the dust where someone was.