My boyfriend has left me pregnant and gone back to his ex pls help

Hi everyone I'm new here but in desperate need of advice and friends ok so I was seeing a lovely guy for a year and a half he split with his ex because he couldent take being with his emotionally abusive ex who he has a daughter with, he never lived with her because she kicked him out 6 years ago but they were still together but he did all the running around like working cooking school run etc. He often use to cry and say "how could I have been so foolish for 6 years I was so unhappy" Anyway me and him really clicked we had everything in common he said I made him so happy and comfortable and he could be himself, fast forward now a year and I found out I was pregnant he said he will support me if I have an abortion he said it was my decision but he didn't want to be a dad again, I couldent go through with the abrtion but he was still ok with me, anyway one of my friends husbands said his ex needs to know he's with someone else cuz she will keep wanting him back so my friends husband emailed his ex telling her he has a girlfriend and she's pregnant, to cut a long story short he went crawling back to her this was 2 months ago she has even let him move in now!!!! And I'm here 5 months pregnant so low and depressed I can't leave the house he's blocked my phone number and has been ignoring me, how can he do this to me after everything he said to me that he loved me? How can he leave me for a woman that emotionally abused him for years he's probably playing happy families whilst I am falling apart, please help me I really need help

Sadly it sounds like he wasn't ok with being a dad again and ran back to his ex. When the child comes, file for child support.

I was seeing a lovely guy for a year and a half. a year and I found out I was pregnant he said he will support me if I have an abortion he said it was my decision but he didn't want to be a dad again. And I'm here 5 months pregnant.

I think that people that stay in abusive relationships for a long time make very poor choices for partners, husbands, life mates and parents Not all of course, but most I'd hazard to say. They have issues if they put up with abuse and are really issued if they go back once they've gotten away from it. I'm sorry you happened to get involved with one of those. and that you're now left a single mother to be.

Make sure you go to family court and get scheduled child support payments in place. If he didn't want to be a dad again then he should have made sure he always wore a condom... In future, please make sure your sex partner and you are on the same page as far as having children together in case of accidental birth control failure.

Once the baby is born, go to a planned parenthood center and get yourself on some reliable birth control (like a copper IUD or the pill) and don't go off of it until you are with a man that wants to marry you, wants children with you, is over any ex's and who will contribute along with you to be a good provider for your children.

Is it too late to have that abortion? You don't sound like you're ready emotionally, physically (perhaps financially) to be a mother right now.

Sadly it sounds like he wasn't ok with being a dad again and ran back to his ex. When the child comes, file for child support.

Thankyou annoys me that he has a child with his ex and he treats her 2 other kids like his own but don't give a crap about his flesh and blood that I'm carrying

Unless it was mutually decided on, no one can force a family on anyone. So all you can do is file for child support and be glad this coward is gone.

annoys me that he has a child with his ex and he treats her 2 other kids like his own but don't give a crap about his flesh and blood that I'm carrying

I think that people that stay in abusive relationships for a long time make very poor choices for partners, husbands, life mates and parents Not all of course, but most I'd hazard to say. They have issues if they put up with abuse and are really issued if they go back once they've gotten away from it. I'm sorry you happened to get involved with one of those. and that you're now left a single mother to be.

 

Make sure you go to family court and get scheduled child support payments in place. If he didn't want to be a dad again then he should have made sure he always wore a condom... In future, please make sure your sex partner and you are on the same page as far as having children together in case of accidental birth control failure.

 

Once the baby is born, go to a planned parenthood center and get yourself on some reliable birth control (like a copper IUD or the pill) and don't go off of it until you are with a man that wants to marry you, wants children with you, is over any ex's and who will contribute along with you to be a good provider for your children.

 

 

Is it too late to have that abortion? You don't sound like you're ready emotionally, physically (perhaps financially) to be a mother right now.

Yes it is too late, this baby is what's keeping me going I'm having a little girl and I love her I'm just angry that he's there playing happy families whilst I've been left like this it isn't fair I don't deserve it maybe I deserve it because I've always been too nice x

Unless it was mutually decided on, no one can force a family on anyone. So all you can do is file for child support and be glad this coward is gone.

Thankyou I agree with you "coward" being the right word x

Yes it is too late, this baby is what's keeping me going I'm having a little girl and I love her I'm just angry that he's there playing happy families whilst I've been left like this it isn't fair I don't deserve it maybe I deserve it because I've always been too nice x

Did you discuss between the two of you what you would do if you should accidentally get pregnant? Its always a good idea to have a plan in place so that you're not left with any surprises. I know its water under the bridge now in this situation but please remember that and to discuss with your future partner about birth control and what the plan would be in case of accidental pregnancy.

Does he want to be in the baby's life once she's born?

Did you two discuss between the two of you what you would do if you should accidentally get pregnant? Its always a good idea to have a plan in place so that you're not left with any surprises. I know its water under the bridge now in this situation but please remember that and to discuss with your partner once you become sexually intimate.

 

Does he want to be in the baby's life once she's born?

Yes we did he said he would never leave me and support me no matter what but he was that scared of her stopping him seeing his daughter he went back to her after she found out he was with me and since then he's blocked my phone number and ignored me, I want him in the baby's life but I can't see it happening tbh

Hi everyone I'm new here but in desperate need of advice and friends ok so I was seeing a lovely guy for a year and a half he split with his ex because he couldent take being with his emotionally abusive ex who he has a daughter with, he never lived with her because she kicked him out 6 years ago but they were still together but he did all the running around like working cooking school run etc. He often use to cry and say "how could I have been so foolish for 6 years I was so unhappy" Anyway me and him really clicked we had everything in common he said I made him so happy and comfortable and he could be himself, fast forward now a year and I found out I was pregnant he said he will support me if I have an abortion he said it was my decision but he didn't want to be a dad again, I couldent go through with the abrtion but he was still ok with me, anyway one of my friends husbands said his ex needs to know he's with someone else cuz she will keep wanting him back so my friends husband emailed his ex telling her he has a girlfriend and she's pregnant, to cut a long story short he went crawling back to her this was 2 months ago she has even let him move in now!!!! And I'm here 5 months pregnant so low and depressed I can't leave the house he's blocked my phone number and has been ignoring me, how can he do this to me after everything he said to me that he loved me? How can he leave me for a woman that emotionally abused him for years he's probably playing happy families whilst I am falling apart, please help me I really need help

Unfortunately, it sounds like he never got over his ex, even while he was with you. Sounds also like he has a habit of getting women pregnant and leaving in some way. I'm sorry you ended up pregnant and jilted. Your child deserves a better father than the one it's been dealt, but fortunately the child will be lucky to have a loving mother that didn't abort it like the father wanted. One day, you'll maybe find a man willing to be the father figure for your baby. Until then, file for child support, it's the least your coward of an ex-boyfriend can do.

Did you live together? He was not 'scared of her'. She can't stop him from seeing his own child since he has legal visitation. Unfortunately he told you a host of lies.

he was that scared of her stopping him seeing his daughter he went back to her after she found out he was with me and since then he's blocked my phone number and ignored me.

How can he leave me for a woman that emotionally abused him for years

Unfortunately, it sounds like he never got over his ex, even while he was with you. Sounds also like he has a habit of getting women pregnant and leaving in some way. I'm sorry you ended up pregnant and jilted. Your child deserves a better father than the one it's been dealt, but fortunately the child will be lucky to have a loving mother that didn't abort it like the father wanted. One day, you'll maybe find a man willing to be the father figure for your baby. Until then, file for child support, it's the least your coward of an ex-boyfriend can do.

Thankyou so much 😢😢

Unfortunately, it sounds like he never got over his ex, even while he was with you. Sounds also like he has a habit of getting women pregnant and leaving in some way. I'm sorry you ended up pregnant and jilted. Your child deserves a better father than the one it's been dealt, but fortunately the child will be lucky to have a loving mother that didn't abort it like the father wanted. One day, you'll maybe find a man willing to be the father figure for your baby. Until then, file for child support, it's the least your coward of an ex-boyfriend can do.

Did you live together? He was not 'scared of her'. She can't stop him from seeing his own child since he has legal visitation. Unfortunately he told you a host of lies.

No we didn't live together he shared a house with 3 of his friends because she never let him move in but low and behold now he's gone grovelling shock horror she's let him move in x

Unfortunately, it sounds like he never got over his ex, even while he was with you. Sounds also like he has a habit of getting women pregnant and leaving in some way. I'm sorry you ended up pregnant and jilted. Your child deserves a better father than the one it's been dealt, but fortunately the child will be lucky to have a loving mother that didn't abort it like the father wanted. One day, you'll maybe find a man willing to be the father figure for your baby. Until then, file for child support, it's the least your coward of an ex-boyfriend can do.

Like I said... he's issued. Not good partner or father material for your child. Are you sure he wasn't still with her the whole time he was with you? If they didn't live together he could have been with both of you and neither of you would have been any the wiser.

Hmmm maybe but everytime I dropped around unannounced he was always at his place however he used to spend a few hours Saturday mornings with the kids so whose to say he wasn't keeping her sweet then

he would never leave me and support me no matter what but he was that scared of her stopping him seeing his daughter he went back to her after she found out he was with me and since then he's blocked my phone number and ignored me, I want him in the baby's life but I can't see it happening tbh

I don't think he's scared of her stopping him from seeing his daughter, as much as he's trying to use that excuse to worm his way out of this.

At any rate, he can block and ignore you until the cows come home, yet he can't ignore an order from the courts forcing him to take responsibility and pay child support. I'm sorry you're in this situation, and I'm sure you'll be a responsible parent to this baby.

I don't think he's scared of her stopping him from seeing his daughter, as much as he's trying to use that excuse to worm his way out of this.

 

At any rate, he can block and ignore you until the cows come home, yet he can't ignore an order from the courts forcing him to take responsibility and pay child support. I'm sorry you're in this situation, and I'm sure you'll be a responsible parent to this baby.

Thankyou x

Perhaps moving in with her was an enticement? Was he paying child support for his child with her? How come you did not live together?

No we didn't live together he shared a house. she's let him move in x

Perhaps moving in with her was an enticement? Was he paying child support for his child with her? How come you did not live together? This article may be helpful/interesting for you: [url="

 

He used to give her money for his daughter and her 2 boys she's very money orinentated too I had a chat with his best friend when all this started he's a lovely genuine guy and he said "him going back to her sounds like something from the twilight zone" he also told me that he had to pick the pieces up on more than one occasion when she was kicking off and he also told me that my ex moved in with him for a while. Yeah he was supposed to be moving in with me until this happened x

This guy is irresponsible and shiftless. Be glad he's gone.

Concentrate on being healthy in body and mind, take your pre-natal courses and then focus on being a good mother. He's not worth your heart ache.

At least he's not a deadbeat so you can file for child support. Do not worry about him or her or what his friends say,etc. You got pregnant he did not want that and he ran.

Take care of yourself get support from your own friends/family and stop contacting him or his people, it will upset you even more.

He used to give her money for his daughter. he was supposed to be moving in with me until this happened x

This guy is irresponsible and shiftless. Be glad he's gone.

 

Concentrate on being healthy in body and mind, take your pre-natal courses and then focus on being a good mother. He's not worth your heart ache.

Thankyou, that's all I am focasing on he is a bit younger than me he is 31 but he should be responsible too, I feel sad that he can play happy families with HER however I know my baby is going to have all the love and care she will ever need I love her and that's all that matters xx

"He used to give her money." Does that mean that he just threw a few bucks here and there to her but never had a set amount mandated by family court?

At least he's not a deadbeat so you can file for child support. Do not worry about him or her or what his friends say,etc. You got pregnant he did not want that and he ran.

 

Take care of yourself get support from your own friends/family and stop contacting him or his people, it will upset you even more.

I don't contact him I haven't spoke to him since he left and I only spoke to his friend once but I have my own friends who have been great and are there when I need them

"He used to give her money." Does that mean that he just threw a few bucks here and there to her but never had a set amount mandated by family court?

Yes that's correct he's never been to court with her but I have already phoned child maintenance to see where I stand xx