Should I bother chaseing her?

Hello all,

Just need so advise about my relationship that my ex gf and i had,

I will try to keep it short

We meet over two years ago and hit it of straight away had amazing times, went out/stayed in done all the thing couples do, we went away to a wedding in Greece out of this world, there was no problems what so ever... I done everything for this girl paid her loans of bought her things that she wanted, even help her out with jobs etc. treated her like the way she wanted to be treated after her up bringing (she is 29 and I am 34). we talked about a family, house and getting married

but she never said thank you and appreciated the things i did for her this started to bug me but i still cared for her and helped her, In June this year 2016 it come to a point were i went onto a dating site and talked to people, (but did not go on to meet anyone) everyone vents in there own way, She found out and ended it i was up front with her and said yes i was no liars or anything, we did not talk for 2 weeks, I texted her but no replay, just this week we met up and lunch and she said she went on 2 dates, i could not take this and left, we spoke on the phone and she said a few more things ,and met again 2 days later, it all come out and i found out, she met a lad after a week of splitting up and she went out on her birthday with him and ended up dating again, and lied to my face more then 4 times about things and him, then she wanted to work it out with me (we have to build trust up again and so) next day she rang and said she cant do it, then day after she wantes to, next day she is defending this lad on the phone to me saying its not nice to say things about him?, then she wants to work it out, Then last night she sent me a message saying this is the end of us, and blocked my texts and call and even whats app (she has had me blocked on facebook from june, 3 mins later she got this lad back on facebook after she said she does not want to be with him, she said she does not like him last week and she only went on dates to get back at me? no phone call just one text

I know there is more to this man and her, but she will not say, I love this girl to bits and would love to make this work

It sounds like she is dating and unsure of things. You have to go no contact until you hear from her.

In June this year 2016 it come to a point were i went onto a dating site and talked to people, She found out and ended it Then last night she sent me a message saying this is the end of us, and blocked my texts and call and even whats app

Sorry, but this sounds like your own fault. You went on a dating site while in a relationship, and you got caught. She did right by herself and broke up with you. My ex did the same thing, and I gave him way too many passes; your girlfriend is obviously stronger than I was. When will men learn that it's not okay to get on dating sites when you have a girlfriend?? Now you're suffering the consequences. Hopefully you'll learn a lesson from this.

Should I bother chaseing her? Nope. Not at all!! I know you're hurting right now. I know you feel that getting back together with her will make the pain go away. Here's the truth...getting back with her isn't an option. She's done. Phone calls, texts and pleads from you push her further away. Truly the only thing you can do is go NC which shouldn't be hard since she's blocked you.

It's time to make a long list of activities, friends, hobbies, classes, another job, etc. that you've been neglecting or are interested in and start working your way through it to give you something to occupy your time so you don't obsess. Use it as a distraction when you notice you start obsessing over her.

It hurts. It sucks but I promise time will heal this. You WILL get better and you'll come out stronger and you will have learned from all of this. Remind yourself of this often. You will survive. Hearts heal. Hugs!!

But you made the first blow by putting up an online profile.

You seem to not mention that again but go on about what she did which seems like in reaction to that.

You minimize it by saying `everyone vents in their own way' but apparently she felt betrayed enough to end the relationship over it.

So now she's dating and you have a problem with it?

Can you say `double standard' ?

I would tell you that you owe her a sincere apology but I don't sense you feel you have any responsibility here.

If she is ungrateful as you say, why would you want her back anyway?

Sorry, but this sounds like your own fault. You went on a dating site while in a relationship, and you got caught. She did right by herself and broke up with you. My ex did the same thing, and I gave him way too many passes; your girlfriend is obviously stronger than I was. When will men learn that it's not okay to get on dating sites when you have a girlfriend?? Now you're suffering the consequences. Hopefully you'll learn a lesson from this.

I agree with this.

Im really sorry she left but it was your own work. Instead of talking to her to feel appreciated. You cheated on her by joining a dating site.

Since you are no longer together. Your ex is allowed to date or sees whoever she chooses.

Lesson learned and in future talk to your loved one instead of "venting".

Thank you all for getting in touch, It was nice reading all the feed back... I did not cheat or tend to do..... Its now been 51 days NC still love her etc, She still un blocked me on whatsapp (is this for me to reach out or she playing games, Also she still has all my family on facebook?

I did not cheat or tend to do

Sorry to harp on this, but I think you need to understand that getting on a dating site IS a form of cheating. Strong people will have zero tolerance for it in a relationship and will opt out. Weak people like myself will make excuses for it and give chance after chance (been there and done that, but hope to get stronger and not tolerate it in the future). Your girlfriend reacted as any strong and healthy person would do and dumped you for it. What she did thereafter is not in your control or really your business. You're the one who messed it up by going online looking for others. Lesson learned, I hope.

Why did you get on the dating site then?

Oh, let me guess...you were "bored" or "needed validation". Or, she wasn't giving you the attention you felt you "deserved".

Go back on the dating site and chase women on there if you're lonely.