Friends Ditched My Birthday Party, I Ditched Theirs

I had a birthday party and invited my friends 2 weeks ahead. They all said they were coming. On the day of, I called, texted---nothing. A month went by, and I bumped into one of my 'closest' friends who asked if I was angry, then proceeded to attack me saying it was my fault for giving her a short notice....and that she couldn't come because she was busy helping her friend out (who lives near my house). There were no happy birthdays, no apologies, NO common courtesies! I'm not even pissed she didn't come, I'm pissed I was completely blown off! I was always courteous on her birthday, even if I couldn't make it, I'd give her a gift and send my apologies.

Now, I was invited to her surprise birthday party. I bought a small gift, wrote in a card, and gave it to a common friend to give it to her at the surprise dinner. But I refused to go.

What would you do in this situation? Even though we were good close friends, I feel like this drew the line. I understand not being able to show up, stuff happens, but to ignore calls, texts, not to give a simple happy birthday and sorry I can't make it is downright rude and disrespectful.

I've been attacked by common friends for not showing up but I feel justified. What do you guys think?

2 weeks would a bit short notice for some. But if someone agrees to come, I expect them to come. If you think it's short noticed and you can't make it, say it. If they don't have the common courtesy to at least let me know they can't make it last minute and apologise, then I think I won't want to be friends with them anymore. I'd start distancing myself.

I don't understand what you mean by attacking though. Seems like a strong word. What did your common friends say? Why do they need to be involved at all? If I want to distance myself from someone, I'd just say, sorry I'll be busy, please pass on my gift (or not, up to you).

2 weeks would a bit short notice for some. But if someone agrees to come, I expect them to come. If you think it's short noticed and you can't make it, say it. If they don't have the common courtesy to at least let me know they can't make it last minute and apologise, then I think I won't want to be friends with them anymore. I'd start distancing myself.

 

I don't understand what you mean by attacking though. Seems like a strong word. What did your common friends say? Why do they need to be involved at all? If I want to distance myself from someone, I'd just say, sorry I'll be busy, please pass on my gift (or not, up to you).

Because they were organizing the surprise party for her...but some of them ditched me on my birthday.

I wouldn't have bought her a gift, honestly. She let you know where you lie in her priorities, and you should file her accordingly in yours.

Demote them to acquaintance, reduce any expectations and make new/better friends..

What would you do in this situation?

Good friends don't give each other payback.

If you are butt-hurt about his whole ordeal, then theres no point to stay as friends.

im at a point in my life where i dont have time for these little games. i dont even get worked up over it. i just remove myself from the situation.

she knew she was in the wrong because she had a guilty conscience as soon as she saw you.

they dont really sound like good friends.

are any of these friends the one friend who told you what to wear to her wedding or what not to wear?