got to get her back

Was in a relationship for 6 years. Started in high school, went through college, and about a year after. The first four to five years were amazing and quite frankly easy. As the real world began to approach things got a bit harder. She graduated college and received a job right away. I have been graduated about a year now and have not started a solid career yet. Just this past week she ended things with me. Said that she was emotionally drained and that it had become too much for her to handle. We struggled to make time for each other with jobs and other sorts keeping us busy. We both knew things werent great but I thought for sure we would just work on them first before ending it so abruptly. Im completely lost and completely heart broken. Cant eat, cant sleep, cant function right. She wants her space and needs some time she says. I want nothing more than to have another chance and get back with her again. She is the only one for me and I honestly beleive that.

I lucked out within the past couple of days and got a huge lead on not only a job but most likely a job that could be a lengthy career. I am recommitting myself spirtually as well which is important to her. All of the friends that we have are mutual friends so there is not alot of getting away from eachother. Ive let her have the friends and am feeling very alone. Every attempt of contact Ive made with her has been either unsuccessful or ended in me upset and begging. I have no idea how to handle this or what to do. All I know is that I want and need her back. There is nothing else I want other than that. what do i do

Dumped desperate and sad is probably the worst time to get back together. Reconciliations take 2 people. She's not interested so focus your attention on work and healing.

Leave her be as she asks. Even though you want to tell her about your job and spiritual news, she is not ready to have contact at this point. Keep putting your efforts in personal, spiritual and professional improvement for your own sake. Go completely no contact to get your mind off things for now.

She wants her space and needs some time. Every attempt of contact Ive made with her has been either unsuccessful or ended in me upset and begging.

I understand that part of it. But how do i go about initiating contact with her and when is the right time to do so? I cant let her slip away and I know what I have to do to fix things once I get the chance

I understand that part of it. But how do i go about initiating contact with her and when is the right time to do so? I cant let her slip away and I know what I have to do to fix things once I get the chance

Don't worry about when the time is right at this time. Worry about getting to the point when you don't feel desperate to get back together ... that's MONTHS down the line. At that point, then you can think about contact.

Why was she emotionally drained?

Said that she was emotionally drained and that it had become too much for her to handle.

I agree stop listening to your feelings and focus on the facts and take a step back to see what's really going on. She wants space. So give her space. You keep saying you can't lose her, but if you were together for 6 years and a majority of those years you two had a great time, then you have nothing to worry about. She won't forget about you. She will contact you when she's ready. And when she does, you should be an improved person by that point. Until then, stop thinking with your feelings, and focus on the facts and what's REALLY going on here. Source: experience

Just because over the past year we have not had the same time for eachother that we normally do and she feels like she has just been trying too hard to make it work. With this job though everything should be solved as far as availability. I just would likeher to realize that

Thank you for the response. That whole forget about me part is the scary side of it. I know shes not the type of person to do it but you know the bad side of my head keeps telling me that. just a real scary and unknow time for me

Give her the space she asked for. Wait some time after you are solidly employed and your life is together completely before you contact her. Otherwise it will just look like 'hey I got this maybe job lead...can you come back now?" and that unfortunately won't work. You have to walk the walk.

With this job though everything should be solved.

If you contact her now or anytime soon, it will go south. Youll realize it AFTER it completely goes south. Its best to listen to facts and just not contact her. Right now youre just thinking irrationally. It'll be very difficult, but just hold back for a few months. a few months is nothing compared to all of the years you two were together. you know you treated her right, let her go for a while.

It is just so hard to see it all happening. I know that she is not doing well either. Is there anything I can do or say now that could hash things up quicker? Like ive realized the mistakes I made and we made and know how to fix. How can I make it move along quicker

It is just so hard to see it all happening. I know that she is not doing well either. Is there anything I can do or say now that could hash things up quicker? Like ive realized the mistakes I made and we made and know how to fix. How can I make it move along quicker

Takes two to tango and she's not interested. Just because she's sad, doesn't mean she wants you back.

And no, there is nothing you can do. Except of course screw things up even worse by trying to remain in contact. Nothing irritates exes like a clingy ex trying to stay in touch and show them they've changed.

Accept it's done and realize if she really wants to contact you she will. But don't wait on that. Move on as if she's never coming back because in all likelihood she's not.

The strongest negociation position is to Walk away and mean it.

Chasing and contacting her as much as you've said you've done in the OP is only pushing her further and further away. Cut contact completely, walk away and if her interest is 51% or above she will get in contact. It doesn't look good though, the damage may already have been done.

It is just so hard to see it all happening. I know that she is not doing well either. Is there anything I can do or say now that could hash things up quicker? Like ive realized the mistakes I made and we made and know how to fix. How can I make it move along quicker

No there's nothing you can do other than Walking away and meaning it.

100% of guys who get dumped go looking for that "quickfix" way of getting their ex back. They almost always think that begging her is going to get her to turn around and pull her panties down.

Chasing and begging NEVER works.

Your ex has to be the one to turn around and realise that she has made a mistake ... NOT YOU