Arranged Marriage / Relationship Break Up

My boyfriend of 6 years the love of my life has just left me for an arranged marriage. He is very upset and emotional too but tells me he accepts his destiny and his mother's choice is his destiny. He has not even seen the girl and refuses to see her until the wedding day. His family know how u unhappy he is but are still making him go through with it. I know we never really had a future I am much older than him and an expat in his country as he was in the army his country law states that he was never allowed to marry an expat, but the army was about to send him abroad for 5 years and we were supposed to go together in the hope that we could get married in a foreign country but now he will be taking his new bride. He doesn't want to lose me and is begging me to remain his secret forever and still insists that he will take me and his new bride with him because in islam you are allowed more than one wife. I know I'm being an idiot and still returning his calls and replying to his messages I don't know how to let go. I just want to die. The worse thing is for 6 years our relationship has been a secret and we secretly lived as man and wife because we are in an Arab country and relationships outside of marraige is against the law. None of my expat friends knew about us so I have noone to run to. I'm losing it please help.

You really want a men that's dictated by his mother?

I would be happy in your shoes. You dodged a bullet anyways. Sure it will hurt but in time you will be WAY better off. You just saved yourself TONS of headache down the road.

Good luck

The large majority of ENA posters are westerners. This is a cultural issue that many of us cannot advise you on.

I will say this: if your relationship has been in secret, then you both really don't have a relationship. He has to make a choice: follow his parents and cultural wishes OR break away from culture to be with you. He cannot have both but hey... Men from that culture feel entitled to think that way. Clearly his culture is very important to him that he is making a choice to stick with it.

Let this man go. You need someone who is going to prioritize ad support a single marriage with you. You deserve more than to be second in line compared to the other girl he is marrying.

Hi - sorry to hear about the breakup. I advise that you do not become wife #2. I know it's hard but I think you should ultimately move on. If that means moving away, finding another job, so be it. I think it would be easier for you to get over him if you move out of the city and possibly country.