Girlfriend suddenly doesn't want to have sex?

I'm a lesbian. I was in a relationship with my ex girlfriend for 4 years. She was the first person I ever had sex with and the first time it happened was within the first week of dating. The first two years of sex were passionate and great, it was something very beautiful and special to me. The next two years I rarely had sex (I later found out she was cheating) and when we did have sex she would rush me and make me feel like she was doing me a huge favor. It shot my confidence down. We broke up in January 2015.

Fast forward to August 2015, I have a new girlfriend. I did not have sex with anyone while I was single. I've been dating this girl for a few months and things get pretty heated at times. She has always been the one to initiate plans for us to spend some special alone time together, but each time she has cancelled. One time she actually did come over to my place but once things started to get heated she told me she wasn't ready yet because she's not confident in her body.

She told me she is a virgin. I'm not entirely sure that I believe this but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Let's assume she is a virgin, as a woman I totally understand how important virginity is but I don't want her to look at it as "losing her virginity to me", I want her to think of it as sharing something beautiful, special, and meaningful.

Yesterday morning she was acting normal but suddenly told me last night that she "wants to be a virgin for a long long time". I respectfully asked for her why and it bounced between "I'm not confident with my body" and "I have a lot of morals". We have been together for 4 months now and I am very very very sexually frustrated. Things get heated but sex never happens. The last thing I want to do is pressure her/guilt her into sex, and I definitely don't want her to feel like a sex object. She is a very great woman but it's hard being as sexually frustrated as I am. I feel physically inadequate and my self esteem is low, I really want affection.

Is it normal for a woman to out of the blue say she doesn't want to be intimate or is this a red flag that something might be up?

Your thread topic is not true.

Your girlfriend doesn't SUDDENLY wants no sex, she never wanted sex to begin with.

I think she is smart for holding off on intimacy. Unfortunately for the WRONG reasons. I don't recommend intimacy early on the relationship for # of reasons (clouds your mind, forces relationship into over drive, skips important building blocks of relationship, prevents relationship from a healthy/strong foundation, makes people blind/forces you to miss clear red flags etc). However this also requires FREQUENCY conversation and making sure both parties match, and for women, size discussion hehe.

Her reasoning is "I'm not confident with my body" and "morals".......that's HER problem,why do YOU have to deal with it? Red flag #1

Fact that she has stood you up a lot = Red Flag #2. Personally this is a deal breaker for ANY PERSON in my life. Do it once, better have a good excuse, 2nd time......don't call me again. It's over.

Fact that she leads you on and "things get heated", well that IS intimacy. Almost seems like she gets a kick out of teasing you but never going all the way? Not cool.

I think you are a little confused, you keep saying "no sex" out of the blue, as if that was never the case to begin with. You knew all this.....

Instead of trying to figure her out maybe look to yourself and question whether or not this drama is worth it to you. I think it might not. I think you deserve better.

The girl is playing with you, and you're putting up with it because your ex wore down your self-esteem.

Take charge of this situation. Have some self-respect and break up with this girl who's making a fool out of you.

She has always been the one to initiate plans for us to spend some special alone time together, but each time she has cancelled.

Before even considering the sex, consider this.

So what's in ANY of this for you?