Found a new therapist & doing EMDR again in January

I have been thinking to myself the past few months that I want to revisit some issues. I have noticed I've been doing a little slide back. I've stop doing all the things that I used to do for me and picking up the slack at work and picking up the slack everywhere else. It started making me resentful and snippy.

My old therapist has moved on to something else. So today I thought screw it and went and talked to her replacement. I'm going to do an eight week group session course that I've done before. And then I will have private sessions with the therapist after that and do another course of EMDR in January. She wants to shore up my coping skills before I go down that rabbit hole again.

All in all I feel great about this decision.

My best advice:

Rely on NO ONE, but yourself.

There is nothing therapy can do for you that you can't already do yourself. If you feel you slid back on things, take action to undo it!!! If you stopped doing things you used to do that might have made you happy.....well.....DO THEM!!!

Make it happen this week and on regular basis. Heck, make it happen RIGHT NOW. What's stopping you?

It's good that you recognized you slipping back, that is extremely important IMO!!!

Therapy IS doing something for myself.

Therapy IS doing something for myself.

That's good. Please note I do NOT know your conditions/extent etc. I'm sure therapy is very good for many.

But at the end of the day, YOU are still doing the actual work/all the hard work......not your therapist.

That's good. Please note I do NOT know your conditions/extent etc. I'm sure therapy is very good for many.

 

But at the end of the day, YOU are still doing the actual work/all the hard work......not your therapist.

 

 

 

Yes. I know.

I think this is really good, Vic. It's important that you are recognizing yourself slipping. A bit of time with a third party could be a good choice for you to pull yourself back up.

I think this is really good, Vic. It's important that you are recognizing yourself slipping. A bit of time with a third party could be a good choice for you to pull yourself back up.

Absolutely. I am picking up so much slack all over the board the cracks are starting to show. My coping tools are becoming less effective.

In EMDR I want to visit my other son's death and the domestic abuse situation I lived in as a kid. In the first round I dealt with all the sexual abuse.

Sometimes you need a year or more to reprocess when you've done a lot of therapeutic work and then you realize that other things pop up that need addressing. And because I have suffered so many compounding traumas this will likely be a long process.

what exactly is EMDR?

Basically it allows your brain to reprocess memories, emotions and body sensations and store them in a way in the brain where they should have been stored in the first place. And thereby remove the negative emotions and body sensations. So while I know I was sexually assaulted and I will always have that memory I have none of the negative emotions around that memory at all. I feel absolutely nothing about that. Where as before I was absolutely crippled by those emotions.

So this time in EMDR I want to address more wholy my panic disorder and the death of my son Liam, and my illogical absolute terror of medical procedures.

I've never heard of this before. It reminds of hypnosis.

Victoria, I think that's great! I really admire your ability to recognize when you need to seek help, and that you have a plan to move forward. Hopefully someday I'll get there.

I've never heard of this before. It reminds of hypnosis.

No you're not hypnotized at all.

Victoria, I think that's great! I really admire your ability to recognize when you need to seek help, and that you have a plan to move forward. Hopefully someday I'll get there.

You will get there! It took me over three decades to ask for help. And I had become more and more and more crippled by my own inability to ask for help and guidance. By the time I did ask for help I was in complete mental and physical crisis. I wouldn't be alive today if I hadn't done that. And absolutely I put in a lot of hard work with the guidance that was given to me. It's an ongoing process.

But every person has to be ready when they reach out for help and it's something that you won't do until you're ready.

I think it's so wonderful that you are self-aware enough to recognize the signs that it's time to get back into therapy.

I've noticed too, that I deal with stuff and feel okay for awhile, then things pop back up again. I think therapy is a lifelong on-and-off process for some.

I think the fact that you are so introspective, and that you are eager to sort of have a tune-up, bodes well for your therapeutic results! >

I think it's so wonderful that you are self-aware enough to recognize the signs that it's time to get back into therapy.

 

I've noticed too, that I deal with stuff and feel okay for awhile, then things pop back up again. I think therapy is a lifelong on-and-off process for some.

 

I think the fact that you are so introspective, and that you are eager to sort of have a tune-up, bodes well for your therapeutic results! >

Yes, exactly it's a tuneup so to speak! I can recognize that there were things that I did not deal with so I have a pretty concrete list of things I would like to achieve. When I entered therapy a few years ago I was so bad off I could not even construct a list or a goal or anything. My only goal back then was to just survive . Thankfully ,I am so far beyond that and I have a concrete list of things I would like to achieve and resolve.

As a recently retired psychologist, I used EMDR therapy as my primary psychotherapy treatment and I've also personally had EMDR therapy for anxiety, panic, grief, and “small t” trauma. As a client, EMDR worked extremely well and also really fast. As an EMDR therapist, and in my (now retired) role as a facilitator who trained other therapists in EMDR therapy (certified by the EMDR International Association and trained by the EMDR Institute, both of which I strongly recommend in an EMDR therapist) I have used EMDR therapy successfully with panic disorders, PTSD, anxiety, depression, grief, body image, phobias, distressing memories, bad dreams, and many other problems. It's a very gentle method with no significant "down-side" so that in the hands of a professional EMDR therapist, there should be no freak-outs or worsening of day-to-day functioning.

One of the initial EMDR therapy phases (Phase 2) involves preparing for memory processing or desensitization (memory processing or desensitization - phases 3-6 - is often what is referred to as "EMDR" which is actually an 8-phase method of psychotherapy). In this phase resources are "front-loaded" so that you have a "floor" or "container" to help with processing the really hard stuff, as well as creating strategies if you're triggered in everyday life. In Phase 2 you learn a lot of great coping strategies and self-soothing techniques which you can use during EMDR processing or anytime you feel the need.

In phase 2 you learn how to access a “Safe or Calm Place” which you can use at ANY TIME during EMDR processing (or on your own) if it feels scary, or too emotional, too intense. One of the key assets of EMDR therapy is that YOU, the client, are in control NOW, even though you weren’t in the past, during traumatic events, or whatever disturbance(s) on which you’re working. You NEVER need re-live an experience or go into great detail, ever! You NEVER need to go through the entire memory. YOU can decide to keep the lights (or the alternating sounds and/or tactile pulsars, or the waving hand, or any method of bilateral stimulation that feels okay to you) going, or stop them, whichever helps titrate – measure and adjust the balance or “dose“ of the processing. During EMDR processing there are regular “breaks” and you can control when and how many but the therapist should be stopping the bilateral stimulation every 25-50 passes of the lights to ask you to take a deep breath and say just a bit of what you’re noticing, anything different, any changes. (The stimulation should not be kept on continuously, because there are specific procedures that need to be followed to process the memory). The breaks help keep a “foot in the present” while you’re processing the past. Again, and I can’t say this enough, YOU ARE IN CHARGE so YOU can make the process tolerable. And your therapist should be experienced in the EMDR therapy techniques that help make it the gentlest and safest way to detoxify bad life experiences and build resources.

Grounding exercises are essential. You can use some of the techniques in Dr. Shapiro's new book "Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR." Dr. Shapiro is the founder/creator of EMDR but all the proceeds from the book go to two charities: the EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Program and the EMDR Research Foundation). The book is an easy read, helps you understand what's "pushing" your feelings and behavior, helps you connect the dots from past experiences to current life. Also gives lots of really helpful ways that are used during EMDR therapy to calm disturbing thoughts and feelings.

Pacing and dosing are critically important. So if you ever feel that EMDR processing is too intense then it might be time to go back over all the resources that should be used both IN session and BETWEEN sessions.

I can't say enough good things about EMDR therapy. It's changed my life both as a person/consumer, and as a therapist. It has been so satisfying to have someone come in for help and then to witness them get through their issues and finish therapy relatively quickly (compared to regular talk therapy, it's like night and day). I am both humbled by and grateful for this wonderful method that heals suffering.

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Added the wiki link to help others who want to learn more. The premise that traumatic events overwhelm our ability to employ coping skills, and using EMDR to reset that experience... this sounds incredibly powerful. I wish you great success at this next round of work.

The comments about tuning up, therapeutically... I agree... growth feels like a spiral, not a straight line. As I peel off layers of old behavior, I reveal new, deeper layers for learning. It's like, now that the fire is out, I have time to deal with the car parked in the yard. Also, as I get healthier i engage on a more intimate level, so I have newly exposed layers that need to be addressed. The spiral signals progress.

Yes ,my first round of EMDR worked blissfully well. I'm hoping the second round will go just as well.