Seven year age difference

I'm 21 and this guy I'm interested in is 28 but turning 29 in the next month. Nothing has happened so far but I'm very interested but I'm curious as to what peoples general thoughts are on this age difference. Also I understand I am young but what can I do to show him I'm not just some immature crazy party college girl? Or do you think I should stick to guys a little closer to my age?

A 7 year gap isn't very much compared to a lot of other relationships. If you want to show him you aren't an immature party girl, then don't act like one! If you aren't one, he will be able to see that as long as you be yourself. That being said, letting loose every now and then and partying isn't necessarily a bad thing, and doing so doesn't make you immature, just how you act when you're partying. If you're just having fun with friends or even with him, what's wrong with that?

Anyway, many couples are happy in 10+ years gapped relationships. The only major concern is whether or not you two are looking for the same things right now. You may be looking for a fun relationship in your early 20s (or not, I don't know you haha) but he may be looking to start settling down in the next few years. Talk about your expectations with each other if you decide to take things further.

If you are mature and you two match well I would say why not? 7 years is OK in my opinion.

All you have to do to show him you're not a typical immature young crazy party girl is to not be an immature young crazy party girl.

I don't consider 7 years difference a huge age gap in the greater scheme of things, BUT the problem you'll have with this particular age gap is that you're currently in different life stages. You're barely out of your teens and he's a full on adult now who's been out on his own for a while now. The teens/early 20s is a time of real change and 'growing up' where you discover who you are and learn a whole lot launching yourself into the adult world, so who people are/what they want can be very different at 21 vs. 28. Your focus will be very different, and he may be considering settling down at his age, while you're just getting launched and probably shouldn't be thinking about making any big commitments to anyone.

So don't try to change who you are to try to attract him because that is a big mistake in that you need to get out and experience life rather than to try to act like him just to please him attract him. It is not an impossible age gap, but most likely the relationship won't last all that long because you are at different life stages and you will both get impatient that the other is not always on the same page with you.

So if you don't take it too seriously, fine. If you were say 28 and him 35 you would be more compatible in life stages, but at 21, you probably won't fully mesh with him for at least another 4-5 years, unless he is very immature for his age (still stuck in the partying, video-gaming mode) rather than working a career and wanting to settle down.

7 years could be a lot if you were 15 and he was 22. But a 21 yo woman and a 28 yo man..nah. My first serious relationship was with a 26 yo guy when I was 19. 7 years difference and we were great together. However, I have to add that we broke up because he wanted something more serious than I could offer at the time (as in an engagement).

Make sure you want the same things and go for it.

I knew a women that dated a guy 9 years older, from age of 15 till the age of 28 )

Miracles happen sometimes, if the feeling is there - age doesn't matter.

If the feeling isn't there your age gap would just be another reason to break up.

My parents are nine years apart in age, and they've been happily married for twenty-five years and have four kids.

All I'd really say here is just echoing what other people have already said - make sure you two are looking for the same thing in a relationship. If so, go get it!

I'm 21 and this guy I'm interested in is 28 but turning 29 in the next month.

When I was 21 I was seeing a guy who was 28, and turned 29 during the course of the relationship.

The age difference wasn't an issue whatsoever. We were emotionally and mentally well-matched, problem was he was at a different place in life than I was. I was a college student working as a part-time waitress, and he had a career and had already been married and was separated with two small children. Plus we were long-distance. It lasted 8 months I think. This was back in the late 80s . . . he ended up finalizing his divorce and taking a different job in another state . . . I moved on . . . last I knew (thanks to that wonderful invention called the internet) he had reunited with his wife but they have since parted again, and as close as I can tell he is in the U.K. these days.

We had a lot of fun together though . . .

Anyway. I ended up marrying someone younger than I am, and it was a disaster. I felt I had to parent him most of our marriage. Now happily divorced, I am seeing someone 14 years older than I am. Point is, if there's an age difference--make sure HE'S older!!

I agree with Lav. 100%.

And at your age, rather than worrying how I could appear more mature for a 29 year old guy ....I was wondering why those 29 year old guys were pursuing women my age. I figured it the opposite; something immature or missing about those guys that they are going for someone so young, or it's just about sex. Usually a combo of both.

I'm honestly a little disappointed, though not surprised, so many here are telling you "oh it's nothing, go for it!". Of course it is significant. That doesn't mean these relationships never work because sometimes they do. But why? When you could have someone on the same level as you.

I think some of it has to do with that it is sooo easy at your age to get an older man. They pursue hard, and they know a bit more what they are doing. It's right there and so easy to fall into.

That's another thing that worries me ITSALLGRAND, for the most part I'm attracted to older men around his age but I feel like a lot of them see young girls and only think about sex.

I started dating my ex when I was 28 and she was 21, best relationship I've ever had. Nothing wrong with that age gap.

I met my boyfriend just after I turned 22 and he was turning 29. We're getting married in 4 months.

I am completely unattracted to most men my age.

I've never dated guys my age, they've always been older. In my opinion I don't see the age gap of 7 years being too big, yeah you might be at different stages of your lives, but it doesn't mean the relationship with automatically fail. When I was 21 I dated guys who were late 20's/early 30's. I think a lot of it is to do with maturity. I would say I act older than my age, I've been told so by lots of people actually lol, so I tend to date guys older than me. I believe if you're both on the same page as to what you want, then go for it.

That's another thing that worries me ITSALLGRAND, for the most part I'm attracted to older men around his age but I feel like a lot of them see young girls and only think about sex.

Not all do. Ok, yeah there are a few out there who do think that if a girl is younger, he'll be able to get her into bed quicker, but you skim past them and onto the guys who won't do that.

I've never dated guys my age, they've always been older. In my opinion I don't see the age gap of 7 years being too big, yeah you might be at different stages of your lives, but it doesn't mean the relationship with automatically fail. When I was 21 I dated guys who were late 20's/early 30's. I think a lot of it is to do with maturity. I would say I act older than my age, I've been told so by lots of people actually lol, so I tend to date guys older than me. I believe if you're both on the same page as to what you want, then go for it.

Exactly how I feel. That's why I posted this thread because even if nothing comes from this crush I know I'm attracted to guys who are around his age and just wanted to gauge other peoples opinions. The ag difference doesn't bother me I just wouldn't ever want to feel like an older guy is with me because he thinks it will be easy to get me into bed because I really do want a meaningful relstionship and I don't have one night stands or friends with benefits.

That's another thing that worries me ITSALLGRAND, for the most part I'm attracted to older men around his age but I feel like a lot of them see young girls and only think about sex.

Why are you attracted to the older guys?

I don't mean way older than I am but I'm 21 and I like guys in their late 20s I'm not sure why. Physically I am attracted to them because they don't look young, I've just always dated guys at least a few years older than me. I think I'm pretty mature for my age and I've been through a lot. I'm not looking to mess around I want something real and guys who are older are more on that page than guys my age. I'm personally attracted to this guy because he's funny, sweet, kind of dorky in a awkward cute way, he's actually paid attention to things I've told him in the past and he's sexy. Most guys my age just want to party and hook up I already had my huge party phase in highschool and Ive already slept around for fun I don't enjoy either anymore.

@Mb1212,

I just don't think the age gap is an issue unless you are in different life stages. It truly depends on the individuals involved. I just don't think it is a "black or white" thing. An "off or on" situation.

7 years is not such a big gap. I think it's fine as guys mature later than girls

I'm younger than you and my boyfriend is 8 years older than me. I was hesitant about what other people would think but most people are actually pretty okay with it, I've had surprisingly few bad reactions when people find out the age difference, I'd say go for it. The biggest issue is to make sure that you are both at the same point in your lives, you may be 7 years apart, but still be looking for the same thing, or you could be two years apart, and one person wants to travel the world and experience life, and the other might want to settle down and start a family, I think that's what is the most important thing.