I can't believe I have resentment still...

Alright, I will just start off by saying that these feelings and thoughts I'm about to share are just that. I haven't told anyone and I haven't acted on them or treated anyone differently because of them and I don't plan on it. I'm just trying to get rid of them and know how I can avoid them next time.

I'm a pushover and basically I have let people treat me in ways that I've accepted and I never stood up for myself. For some reason I always take the blame and I'm the first to say I'm sorry.

I always let my best friends emotions become mine and if she was having a bad day, it would make me have a bad day. I've stopped doing this, but for most of my school years it was very evident. On my birthday this year, she was in a bad mood about something or other (which is usual) and she basically dragged everyone's mood down and definitely mine. I never even got mad at her or said anything to her, but she ruined my entire night. And why do I feel bitter about it now? Because I never acted on the feelings then? I don't understand. Like I said, I won't say anything to her or get mad at her now, that is pointless and stupid. I just want to find out how I can prevent this from happening in the future. By the way, that night was one of many nights of the same...

You may feel bitter about it now because Birthday's are special days were you feel that even though other days may be ruined your birthday shouldn't be. I know this may seem hard to do but I would suggest either avoiding your best friend when they are in a bad mood or explaining to them that even though you love spending time with them when they are in a bad mood it really brings down your mood. As your best friend they should attempt to understand your feelings.

You teach people how to treat you.

Sounds like you're prompting yourself to question the value of this friendship, and that's not a bad thing. It also doesn't mean you'll need to make any all-or-nothing choices. It just means that as we mature, we start growing more firmly into ourselves and our simple childhood requirements for friendship become more dimensional. And let's face it, someone too self-centered to put her own problems on a back burner for long enough to encourage a friend to enjoy a special day might not really be 'best' friend material for you anymore.

From this age forward, you can either resist or enjoy the fact that everyone's timetables and calendars shift, so different people will cycle out of your life and back in at different times due to differences in focus, maturity and interests.

There's really no sense in holding resentments about behavior you could have pulled back from a long time ago. Relieve yourself of the idea of trying to make this person 'happy.' Decide that next party, whoever wants to play sulker or drama queen can do that without your help--and stick to it. Make sure in advance that you have your own ride home, and turn stupid, cheerful and deaf to anyone to who tries to bring you down.

In your corner.