At what age does a man generally want to settle down?
At what age does a man generally want to settle down?
Well I can't speak for all men, but if I found the right person, I'd be willing to 'settle down' right now. I'm 21 by the way.
"Whenever I meet a beauty, I escape or hide in a corner. Not that I think they are intimidating, but they attract horrible people. Some guys really do their utmost to make these beautiful women believe how good they are..." - Thom Yorke
I think this is a question for the psychologists out there... but in my experience, generally around the early 30s. Much sooner (like, early 20s) seems to not be a lasting experience. As I noted in one of the previous threads, I am in my 40s and not one of my friends/brothers/cousins etc is still with the same partner they took in their 20s...
However: I have seen many men who still try to be "playas" in their 40s and 50s so it really depends on the person in question.
Last edited by spinstermanquee; 07-08-2007 at 04:24 AM. Reason: add detail
I think it really comes down to the character of each individual person.
Like IronLion, I would do the same (I'm 22, but have felt this way for some time). But my family brought me up on quite old fashioned values, and I'm really not sure what the norm is.
Perhaps there are some statistics out there that could help in answering this question?
Happiness is the natural result of being present in each moment with love and kindness toward yourself and others.
Pleasure is a momentary feeling that comes from something external, often to do with the positive experiences of our senses.
Which one do you seek?
I think it really depends....each person has different goals and wants in life but I would say late 20s/early 30s.
Still, I would rather get serious with someone who has "enjoyed" his youth and experienced a lot of things BEFORE settling down.
"I don't believe that life is supposed to make you feel good, or make you feel miserable either. Life is just supposed to make you feel.
- Gloria Naylor
Why are you asking, QH? What's you situation?
I wanted to settle down at 21. Then after I dumped her, it was 23. Then the next woman ... never! And now, at 38, I'm thinking about it but I'm having way too much fun with my wife.
Answer: Who knows?
Advice given is only as good as the details you provide, and even then it's just an opinion. No one knows the situation as well as you do, so trust your gut.
Asking that question shows that you probably don't interact with a lot of men as friends or even acquaintances or you would know there is no answer to that question. In general, a man is ready to be in a healthy marriage when he feels like he can contribute emotionally and financially to a marriage and when he find someone he wants to share his life with. Things like schooling, career changes, family situations, personal issues can impact when that time is. It's no different for a woman.
If you're trying to apply statistical data to one man, you'll have a rough time. I don't think there's any one age. He may want marriage and change his mind. Sometimes a "settled down" guy can get restless and bail out.
Luckily I did the whole marriage bit as a young man, and now feel really settled down.
Last edited by Dako; 07-08-2007 at 10:34 AM.
You can't really apply an age to that...while the average age of marriage for men is about 29 or 31 (I have seen both quoted - average age for women I have seen at both 25 and 27) that also means there are those whom married much younger, and much older.
Also, there is a difference between wanting and thinking you are ready to settle down and actually BEING ready for that commitment - I find this true of both men and women.There are many relationships where the partner is saying they are ready, and even making plans, but that turns around when they realize the importance of it maybe, or some other things that turn them off it.
Batya is quite right in that there are however many variables and individual charateristics that go into when someone is ready.
When I was 21 I was quite comfortable with idea of marriage, but now years later I look back at that and I have gone through so much growth that I do not see my 21 year old self as having been ready at all! So women too are affected by these variables.
Now, with my current partner, whom I have lived with for a while, I can say I would definitely be ready to marry him with a better understanding of what marriage is, and what is required of both of you. But back then, I probably would have acted more on the infatuation feelings thinking that would last forever, whereas now I realize love and marriage is about much more than feelings! It also depends on your relationship compatibilities, your goals in life, what you have grown up to believe about marriage, timing and also emotional and mental maturity.
Last edited by RayKay; 07-08-2007 at 11:12 AM.
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