Broken Hearted

The hurt just won't go away over my divorce. I loved my husband so much and I thought we would be together forever. I trusted him to stay with me and I thought he loved me as much as I loved him. In the end he asked me for a divorce after 5 years together. We had just returned from a vacation where we had a great time. He said that he thought that being married was too painful. It came as a complete shock.

I have been living on my own for 3 months and I am a mess. I am 32 years old now with broken dreams. I am home right now on a Saturday night crying because I feel like I will never recover (I was suposed to go out tonight and I could not do it). I feel like I will never trust another man or be happy. I feel so lonely, so hurt and so scared.

The last few weeks I have been "dating" someone I work with (I have kissed and dated several other guys). It feels great while we are together because I like his personality a lot but I feel horrible when we are apart. The pain is unbearable with or without this guy, but I feel like I really like him. On

In the end since I am home crying over my heartbreak, I am in no shape for anything. Everything hurts being alone, being with my husband, being with this other guy, not being with him... or most of all just being here and thinking about how painful my life is. I guess I just wonder if life will ever be good again. Everyone keeps telling me it will be fine and I just try to endure the enormous pain.

Angela,

I'm so sorry you feel in so much pain.

I can promise you that it does get better. You are a wonderful strong person and you deserve better than a husband who just ups and leaves, who doesn't stay and work any problems out. You deserve better than that.

Sometimes life just doesn't go the way we think it's going to go but once this pain is gone you can have a better life. You can be with someone who truly deserves you. Keep going and take one day at a time, don't think about tomorrow or the future just look after yourself physically.

Take Care.

i am too sorry for your pain...it is so hard to deal with the trauma of it all...your husband has had time to get used to this b/c he has been considering it long before he broke the news to you...there is a book called love must be tough by james dobson and i think you would like to read it...it has religious overtones but you can overlook these if you like. give it a try...your library probably has it. good luck and hang in there!

I know exactly how you feel.I was married for 9.5 yrs and with my ex for a total of 14yrs.We had some struggles and were really starting to benefit from them,we stayed at my parents house while we were building our own home and I know that was hard on her even though my parents loved her like there own.We finally moved into our new home and two weeks later she left me,said she was unhappy and there was no spark.She works for an attorney so she had the divorce final in 30 days,so I know where you are coming from as far as being caught off guard,needless to say as soon as the divorce was final she was with someone else that she saw alot from her work.It's devastating,but the truth is you will get past this,and its ok to cry and scream and wonder why.Life seems like it will come to an end right now,but this big old world keeps turning and you have to keep rolling with it.Its nice to meet new people,but you dont have to jump into a commitment.I tried that it and it made me feel worse,like I wasnt being fair to the other person,because I wasnt ready although I wanted to be since my ex had already moved on and those arent the right reasons.Be upfront with this new person,let him know you like him but want to go slow and cant promise anything for tomorrow.He'll either accept that or not,but it takes the stress off of you.It's been 8 months since my divorce and I still have some really hard days,I try do things to take my mind off of it,and that day finally ends and I put that one behind me and start a new one.Take care of yourself and know that there are people going through the same things as you.

3 months after a separation is not a long time, so you are still recovering from your emotional loss... please don't push yourself too hard, and consider personal counseling with a therapist or your church if you are still feeling lost and vulnerable... it does take time, and spending time with friends and family rather than forcing yourself to date before you are ready is probably a better idea than trying to replace someone when you have not healed yet.