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Thread: How can she fall for someone else so fast....?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2005

    How can she fall for someone else so fast....?

    I don't get it!

    I have been doing strict NC with my ex for 23 days. Before I started NC she told me she was still in love with me, wanted to be with me again. She said she wanted to move back to my city and be with me after she worked and saved some money. Well she started growing kind of distant after I was on the phone with her one night, she was making a comment about some guy that worked there, and I just got that bad feeling in the pit of my stomach and could tell this feeling wasn't good about this guy at her work. I could tell she had a crush on him. She was still distant the next day and didn't call so I decided right then and there that I was starting NC.

    I wasn't about to be faced with competition. I ended up a few days later sending her an email saying that this has gone on too long this back and forth **** with us and I'm sick of it. We broke up 2 years ago and I'm tired of the games, you saying you want to be with me then not following through, and saying you need to stay where you are for now and save money, your just stalling. This girl has lead me on for 2 years! Coming back to me when her and her recent ex have problems. I have been her fallback guy the whole time.

    Well its almost been a month later and come to find out her and that guy from her work have been messing around in their cozy little town. I read her myspace tonight out of curiosity (I know thats a bad idea) and she had a blog trashing her new guy, calling him a liar, and that he plays games, and stood her up, and she told him to ****off, and that she has tried not to care but she wears her heart on her sleeve.

    I don't get it!! How can she move on so fast with someone else and become attached to him and seems I can't move on at all!! I even wrote her an email right when I started NC telling her how I bluntly feel about being her back burner guy and she responded by saying some very mean things about me on her myspace.

    How can she tell me she's in love with me, wants to be with me, then when I get tired of waiting for her to actually COME BACK to me, and start sticking up for myself and not taking anymore of her crap she trashes me, and thats the end of it, then she clings on to someone else. How can she fall in love with someone else so freakin fast? I don't get it!

    Why didn't she fight to get me back? I guess I must have made her pretty mad in the email, but after 2 years of this and wanting her back I snapped! and started NC. She is 22 by the way, if it matters.

  2. #2
    Member bobo85's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006

    Its easy to say you love someone but they acutually have to show it.

    Why did your ex gf tell you that she loves you?

    Because she wanted you to be there for her just in case she didn't meet another guy.

    How can she fall in love with someone else so fast?

    I can almost guarentee you that she has known this guy for at least a few months. she will refer to him as a "friend" but we all know thats a lie. She didn't give you the entire story about herself and this "friend". They have been flirting like crazy for the past few months or even years. Trust me...she did not just suddenly meet him and fell in love in 20 something days. That stuff just doesn't happen much.

    You don't get it?

    What's there to get? You guys broke up 2 years ago and you are still holding on to hope...? Why? You are only hurting yourself. You know what you could've have done with those 2 years? You could've have been healed and have had a nice relationship with a good woman for at least a year. But you wasted time on a chick who obviously didn't know what she wanted.

    Lets face the truth
    I'll assume she dumped you and gave you some lame reason like she wanted to find heself or she just doesn't know what she wants right now. The truth is that she just didn't want to be with you. But she also didn't want you to be with anyone else until she found someone else. So she used you for support by saying she still loved you and cared about you. You believed her and gave her what she needed.

    So what are you gonna do?

    You are gonna do STRICT NC. You are gonna disappear from her life. No contacting her at all. No email, text, phone calls, going on her myspace, etc. You have to forget about this girl and move on. she isn't the one for you.
    When there is nothing else to do...go NC

    "The minute you feel like giving up, think of all the reasons why you held on for so long."


  3. 07-30-2006, 04:29 AM

  4. #3
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    You've spent two years of your life being an emotional crutch for her. She used you because you let her. You did the right thing in breaking off all ties.

    Start looking for someone new as soon as possible. Join a dating site, check out the single pretty girls. You don't have to follow through but it's the quickest and easiest way of taking your mind off her, of seeing what's out there. There is more to life than being used by someone who does not want you.

  5. #4
    Bronze Member thursday's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    I totally agree with the above persons and you know that for yourself too.

    I have been in a similar situation (check out my thread). I really feel sorry for you, but you have to go strict NC! Don't wait until she really hates you and she initiates NC (that was what happened with me approx. a week ago). Stand up for yourself, move on, this girl won't come back!
    =energy flows where attention goes=


  7. #5
    Member valenski's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Maybe she was just infatuated, you know in love with the idea of being in love. Its obvious your love for her is unparallel to her's for you but the reason we initiates NC, is to move on. An up hill struggle? yes it always is and still after two years you're not quite over her but torturing yourself is unhealthy.I've had a few relationships gone bad so I have an idea of what you're going through, I just blogged my heart out and the people at enotalone were there for me and I'm sure they'll be there for you too.
    There is no logic when it comes to love.


    "Keep your thoughts positive for your thoughts become your words, keep your words positive for your words become your behaviour..."

    By Mahatma Gandhi.

    "Without confidence you are twice defeated"
    Marcus Garvey.

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    I tell her all this stuff, that actions speak louder than words, and if you really wanted to be with me you would move mountains. I am going to keep doing NC, I havent broke it yet and am not planning on it. She constantly complains about her life, but she could of had a perfect life with me, I dont get why she chases the drama.

  9. 07-31-2006, 02:59 AM

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