djedgie

Hey folks... Thanx for the ULTRA prompt replies. Really appreciate it. And please keep the suggestions/criticisms coming. I'm on this planet to learn, so I would love to hear from all of you... positive and negative... I will keep you all posted as to developments... thanx again... 0X

Hey guys (and specially gals) Friday past I went on a spur-of-the-moment blind date. Now, this would seem quite exciting, but for me it's a bit of a bad one because I tend to be a quiet person, and although we did speak during the evening, I was too shell-shocked to react quick enough to her signs and posture (she gave me that deep look into my eyes, and like an idiot, I looked away, very nice hey!! And I was on occasions at a loss for words... I did call her the Saturday, and we spoke for about 1 1/2 hours (alittle more confident, but still a bit tongue tied). I called again the Sunday, after which she then said she would call me the Monday (it was a public holiday here). She did did call me Monday morning , but I think I made the mistake of telling her I would call her AGAIN the afternoon. I then realised I shouldn't have done that as I felt I was making her feel crowded, and giving her the impression that I was very needy/clingy, which I don't want her to think. And thus, I didn't call her... And, to top it off, I asked her out on a second date for this coming Friday, but she said she would get to me (ominous and BAAADDD sign). I really like this girl. She is both gorgeous, and really fun to be with... I need some help asto what to do to undo the potential damage I HAVE caused... Should I wait for her to reply, or what? HELP??

Hey there... Why not try to get close to her during your youth sessions, and try talking to her about whatever you are doing that evening at the session. Comment about the session to her, how interesting it is, etc etc... Try to get some info about her as well, where she hangs out, etc. And suggest you two go there for like ice cream or something. Honestly though, you should use your youth sessions though. It is a safe environment, and you both are in an environment which is familiar. Tell how you noticed that she aways wears a specific perfume/wears her hair in a certain way etc... I know it's hard to get confident specially after your previous mishap (which in my opinion is silly from the girl's point of view to allow her friend to dictate to her who she should or shouldn't see). Don't ever let that put you down man, it was HER loss, not yours. She will never get to experience being with you. But don't let this opertunity fly by bro. As a guy myself, I let many situations like this pass me by, simply because I didn't have the guts/stomach/brains to know what to do. You have an idea, and you have people on this board who are more than willing to assist you. But you need to forget about past experiences, and move on my friend, and talk to this girl at your next youth meeting. Who knows, maybe she liked you all along but she was too shy to tell you... Stay cool, and keep us informed... 0X

Hey there... It's a bit of a two edged sword what you are experiencing. From your point of view, you need to make him feel comfortable enough to want to share things with you. On the other hand, he needs to know that it is affecting you, and you really to stress it to him. Your situation sounds a bit tight, as you are doing all the leg work, yet your bf seems to think things are just gr8 while he remains closed. Being a guy, if we are having a rough one, we tend to go into our shell, and just cut off the rest of the world (society dictates that men don't "bitch and moan", sorry for my french...). And talking about your feelings is regarded on the same level as crying... which is really pathetic. But if you really love him, show as much support as you ca to him. Do things for him that will relax him (except making him drunk) and make him see that you care and love him enough to want to listen to him. Watch his body reaction to things and questions, try to gauge if he really wants to answer you, but is too afraid or embarrased. Why not get him to write down his feelings, or better still exchange letters. That way he can pour out to you but not be seen as weak (that society dictator thing again... ) Sometimes though you can only do so much, and really, from a guys point of view, he needs to wake up, and fast, because you do have a limit. You sound like a really wonderful person, and you too deserve love in return... Good luck, and keep us (and me) posted!!!! Stanny

hey there... Well, what you should ask yourself is "Is she like my ex?" If you say no, and she really makes you feel better than in your previous relationship, then open up to her alittle. Take it step by step, but honestly, you will have to open up to her if you like this girl, and from what you have explained, she sounds a whole better than your ex. Have you spoken to her about your previous relationship(s)? If not, I suggest you do, that will be a good step forward in your relationship with her. I'm not saying bear your soul to her, but as you speak about your recent experiences in relationships, she might respond in a way that will make you either feel at ease with her, or make you think twice. She sounds like a good person though, so I feel, don't be afraid... let me know about developments...

Hi there... You sound alot like a good friend of mine. She is also quite successful in alot of things, but she too has not had a boyfriend, and she is 25. I have spoken to her recently (not really about why she doesn't have a boyfrined). The overall feeling I get from her is fear of rejection/the pain associated with a breakup. I don't know if you feel the same, but the two of you sound very familiar. What I told her, is that not only is pain part of life (and really the factor which moulds you into who you are, and want to be), but the exstasy,fun, and warmth associated with loving someone, I feel, far outweighs the pain. I have been through a few relationships, and I have been hurt a couple of times, but you know what, it doesnt matter because you learn from them. From my point of view, guys also like to be chased, and in a way, I think guys like it more that way. You sound like a really great,thoughtful and wonderful person, someone any guy who is looking for someone to really get to know, and not just as friends, would be greatly attracted to. Don't ignore little gestures, and don't be afraid to give your own gestures. Lifes not always not about the obvious and in-your-face opertunites, but it's also about the little moments that can disapear like mist of you don't latch onto them. Continue with your life as you are, but put yourself alittle out there... what have you got to loose? let me know about developments...

Hi there... This is my first post here, and hopefully not my last. I don't know if I will be able to help you much in terms of what to do, but I can at least tell you that you are not alone. I have also recently broken up with my girlfriend due to family issues. The problem was on my side. I have been going out with this girl for about 3 years, but things started going sour family wise about a year and a half ago. Since then we have been secretly dating. And as sTasios7 says, it's a hard one. The problem was between my mom and hers. Initially things were fine, she'd visit my home, no problems. She'd even sleep over, no problems. Then one night, something happened between them that made their relationship between each other deteriorate. Today, my mom doesn't want her in her house (Which I still live in). Despite trying to get the two parties to see eye to eye, things were never the same, and guess who's in the middle of a mom and a girlfriend? Yep! Well recently, I broke up with her due to this reason, but I think I'm starting to regret my choice. I don't know if I did the right thing, but things between her and me were also on the downward slide. Like I said, not sure if can assist you, but you know at least you got a friend out there with a similar problem. 0X