if sole reason was money and career she was sold, she would be wanting her family with her. grass is greener on the other side for her right now, and if she mentioned you werent romantic enough,,, she was feeling special from someone else.
dont even waste your time talking to her about it. start detaching, and hire a private investigator if legal in your state. review phone records if you can and begin the process of accepting divorce as only solution. 99.99% of people who are cheated on, not only can never trust again, but they get cheated on again too.
only thing worse for your kids is to see their dad have no self respect and allow himself to be treated so poorly. Do not tell the kids there was an affair, if so. Just play it kind until kids are old enough.
Be their rock!!