TeeDee

Nobody takes a year to develop feelings. This guy is stringing you along IMO To figure out whether to break up, make a pros & cons list. When you see things on paper the situation should become clearer for you

Ask your GF if she loves you? If she says yes, then tell her that she needs to support your mental health but pestering you, making demands & not giving you time / space to recharge has the opposite effect. Since you & your GF do not live together but you spend a lot of time there, from now on, after your therapy sessions go home. Perhaps a goal in your life could be to move to an independent living situation even if that is with roommates. I think you would do well with a place of your own so you can retreat & self soothe. Do not let your GF bully you into further damaging your mental health

What you need is improved self confidence & some self esteem. Depression & anxiety can rob you of that. With some help from a good therapist work on learning to love yourself. Take some time to improve your weight. Being obese in bad for your overall health. I am not suggesting you turn into a fitness model just add some movement into your life. Take a walk every day. Being outside & getting some sun is an uplifting experience. Exercise in general releases positive endorphins. While you may think I am not answering your Q, I am. When you build yourself up a bit you will be able to find love & this experience will not have ruined you for all time.

This woman is a liar with pedophile tendencies. For all you know you have been talking to a 42 year old man. Cut off all contact.

If you have a job where you are, can you search for a job in New Orleans before you move back? Having some financial security might help

Finding a good therapist can take time. You have to find the one that works for you. Are there any career centers near you? In my state the department of unemployment runs programs to help people find jobs & the local community college often offers free skills programs. Best wishes.

If you really like the housemate, move out, then date her. If you don't want to move out or you can't, then do not date her, kiss her or have sex with her. On her end, the fact that you are only 1 month out of an abusive relationship is great reason to stay away from you. You are rebounding. You may think you are not but you haven't stood on your own two feet, sorted out the mess you just left or figured out who you are as a single adult. Until you do that work on yourself you are not a good prospect for a partner.

He targeted you because he senses how naive you are. This man does not like you or respect you. He's using you & you have to put a stop to it. Do not let your 1st time be with this guy. You will regret it. Imagine telling your own future daughter some day about how you lost your virginity . . . no love, creepy guy . . . just yuck. Stay away. Make friends your own age. Learn to recognize perverts when you encounter them.

If the women have been introduced, then there is no reason to have another meeting & there was never a valid reason to subject the new FI to a one on one with the EX

Why? All this EX wants to do is meet the person who will be a mother figure to her kid. No lawyers required.

Have you ever had the attraction, the zazazoo, that whole head over heels struck by lightening feeling about anyone? If not you may have to accept that you are not wired that way. If you have but you weren't feeling it with this person you were right to let her go. People can be awesome but not the perfect fit for you. Allergic to cats is not an impediment to dating. It's a medical thing. If the allergy is mild maybe you can take an allergy pill. If it's serious date dog lovers. You can learn to be more outgoing. That is a skill that can be mastered. Try joining something like ToastMasters. That is about public speaking but it has a confidence boosting component. If you have the money try something like a Dale Carnegie class. At least do some free on line research about boosting confidence in social situations. The rural thing might be tougher but the answer will always be to enlarge your social circle. Volunteer. Get involved. Attend group activities. Perhaps check out the surrounding towns.

Have you ever filed a complaint against her for stalking? Has she ever been arrested for DUI or drugs? If so those things will pop on a background check. If not, you may be overreacting to some speculative job dream. Don't do anything at this point.

The OP & his FI are getting married. That is a public announcement. He also shares a 5 year old with his EX-W. Can you really blame the EX for wanting to meet the woman who will be living in the house where her kid will be when dad has custody?

You are 22 year old guy. Of course she can see that you want to have sex. Generally speaking men in your age bracket always want to have sex, especially if they are attracted to their GFs. It's normal. It's natural & it does not have to be controlled by meds. Your desire for her is NOT pushing her away. Her fear of being caught by her mother is the problem. It has nothing to do with you. If you want to have sex with your GF, you need to find a safe, clean, secure, private place to be together. Not your parents' house & not her parents' house. Medication is not required or advisable. Rather you should spend some money on a hotel room. Problem solved.

I don't see why it has to be them alone but I can understand your EXs desire to size up the new woman who is becoming step mom to your 5 year old.