unexpectedvictim57

i can't cut my wrists im a whuss and am afrakd of being found out........ like deathly afraid.........

arg but im so fat..... bmi's are worng.... it said i and the appropriate hieght but im not i have rolld and rolld or fat and it disgusts me.... thats alsi one of the reason's why i cut. ..... but at leats this way i'll be able to actually lose the weight instead of just hurting myself right/??

im not even strated and i can't stop..... but its not really often... maybe one a week.

some of my friends have cut and stuff and so they think that someone reporting them helped them but its not good for me and so could never talk to them and i couldn't stand hurting my parents and telling them that i should just die because im not worth it and i throw up what i eat and i cut and i devise suicide plans......... i just can't........

thanx and i'd be willing to try to talk with osme friends about the cutting and being depressed........ but they are good people and they would report me....

i could never talk to any of my friends because i hide behind a mask with them. In m middle school years i had no friends because i went to school with the smae people and so they knew the real me. Now i go to a completely diff school and so i hide behid a mask and am very secretive. My friends vent everything to me yet do not really notice when every single time i say nothing. i could never talk to a shrink or my parents or my firneds because they do not know i am depressed, or that i cut, or that i am suicidal. They could never know. it's my secret. And no body knows that im starting to be bulimic. talking is not one of my specialties and i can't do it. It's impossible for me to do, and i don' think i will ever be able to do it.

i already teried to talk with a stupid shrink but i could never sort out my thoughts and pain and could never talk to her about any that i did... so she gave up on me..... they don't work..... and know im even down to how many pills it would take me to kill myself...... its just so hard and there's no way out except this,...... im never going to be good enough anmd im such a disapointment... my parents would be sad... but i would never disapoint them again!

i know it's not very healthy.... but it makes me feel so damn good inside, and i don't want to stop............. i havn't done it much, only like 2 times..... but i like it........ the power of controlling my weight....... and it still didn't answer my question aout whether it lets you lose weight or not? and i already cut and am all depressed and suicidal although no one knows about this except this person from Holand........ im such a failure.............

umm.... i'm kinda in a sticky situation here..... you see, i just read that bulimics don't really lose any weight..... is that true or not..... because... well, i kinda started throwing up and i felt much better and healthier, but wouldn't you lose weight because your stomach never processes what you put into it.......?? im just slightly confused here.... any help would be appreciated... thank you..........

if my parents find out they'll send me away??

im here too!! lo.l..

if you cut, you are not crazy!!!!....... maybe you just have to be more understanding!!! she need suspport through this. ..... and you obviously aren't giving it to her........ it seems to me that maybe you keep coming l=closer and closer then beacking up so maybe she's just confusd about what you are doing with her? like if you are using her or not...... i think you should seriously sit down in a serious conversation with her and talk about it....... maybe it is better you break up..... but make sure she knows it, and is not expecting something else so she won't get disapointed.....

usually though if i use cream they sting..... is it just the cream i use.... its like body lotion.......

*huge sigh* really? its all normal..... i was so worried!!!!!