When Women Lie: Perspective and Advice

Do women lie more than men? It’s a question that has been asked since time immemorial, with few definitive answers. It’s easy to get stuck in the trap of believing that one gender lies more than the other. While there is little hard evidence either way, it certainly feels like truth in individual situations – especially if you happen to feel wronged by a lie told to you.

Perhaps this is a simpler way of looking at it: when we believe someone has lied to us, regardless of their gender, it usually causes us to feel heart-broken, betrayed and uncertain about where to turn next. So rather than debate which gender lies more, let’s consider why we feel so confused and let-down when we learn we’ve been deceived.

Rejection and hurt often accompany being lied to; someone may be lying because they don’t want to accept the reality of certain situations or circumstances. They could be trying to avoid conflict, or maybe they’re scared of being rejected or judged. There are endless possibilities as to why we have been deceived, but all of them lead to the same conclusion: we’re left feeling betrayed and confused.

It’s important to take a step back, take some deep breaths and remain objective when processing the situation. It might not be much comfort while you feel your heartache and pain, but try to remember that people (regardless of gender) generally lie out of fear and insecurity. There’s always the possibility that a lie is coming from a place of protection and trust hasn’t been blatantly broken. Otherwise, understanding why you’ve been lied to can help create a sense of clarity and ease the burden of mistrust and disbelief.

There are various approaches to facing someone who has lied to you. If you’re in a relationship, you may wish to address the person calmly and ask them directly about the situation. This is often the best way to find out what’s been going on and discuss potential solutions without placing too much blame or suspicion. You could also approach them for an explanation or an apology, or attempt to move past the incident in silence and see if that works better for the two of you.

It can be difficult to confront someone who has lied to you, and there are no certainties that things will become clear or calm. But it is worth remembering that lies can sometimes come from a place of connection; trusting someone enough to harm them, believing they may be better off not knowing the truth.

In the end, if someone is consistently manipulating you or creating a pattern of behavior that relies on lies, it’s likely that it’s time to move on and seek healthier relationships. This can be hard to accept but, in this case, recognizing your feelings and standing up for yourself is more important than honest sentiments.

No matter how brave, vulnerable or confused we feel, it’s important to love ourselves and trust that we’ll make decisions for our best interests in the long-term.