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  • Natalie Garcia
    Natalie Garcia

    Let Love In: Breaking Bad Habits That Could Push It Away

    Have you ever been in a relationship and noticed yourself changing? Maybe it’s someone who makes you so antsy and anxious that all of your negative behaviors start to come out, pushing this potential love away before it even had a chance to take off? Well, that’s fear. Fear has the potential to cripple our spiritual growth and ruin any intimate connection we could have with another.

    Fear can have us doing things we never thought we'd do—living in the shadows of sadness, watching other couples in awe, wishing upon a star to make our dreams come true. But, perhaps there’s more to it than just simply wanting something that isn’t being achieved. Have you ever caught yourself in an act where you’re pushing away the love that is right in front of you? If so, these are the bad habits that may be blocking it from growing.

    For some, they might look down on themselves whenever they’re in a relationship, feeling so unworthy that they don’t want to invest their time or energy into something that may not work out. Under those circumstances, self-pity consumes the individual and limits any chance for love to come in. This is a very common problem for many, and it’s worth noting that if love isn’t welcomed when it comes knocking, then it won’t stay for long.

    Another bad habit which often cultivates fear within a relationship is the inability to trust. It’s almost impossible to make something work when one person doesn’t believe in the intentions of the other. It could stem from lashing out, reading too far into things, or simply not understanding the complexities of communication—all things that can cause an individual to become excessively paranoid. And the worst part is, this paranoia leads to a vicious cycle wherein any chance of freedom is erased and thus, suffocating the relationship into oblivion.

    The lack of communication is also something that can paint a cloudy picture and push love away. Whether it be due to shyness or just a general mismatch of communication styles, people need to talk through their thoughts and feelings in order to create a safe environment to express themselves and build trust. If speculation begins to fill the space between two people, fear will begin to consume and the flames of love will be extinguished—leaving only smoldering ashes in its wake.

    The people around us—family, friends, co-workers, etc.—can often play an instrumental role in whether or not a relationship works. Sometimes, individuals will become attached to a security blanket of support and forget how to find strength within themselves; other times, people allow their inner circle to influence their decisions which could ultimately leave one feeling vulnerable and scared of what the outcome could be.

    Bad habits, in different forms, can often creep their way into relationships before they begin, but they also have their way of presenting themselves afterwards. It’s important to recognize them in order to break away from the cycle of fear and use that energy to create something beautiful with love. It won’t be easy because self-reflection takes courage, but with the help of trusted witnesses and understanding, we can learn to live and love anew. The sky's the limit!

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