Learning the Art of Interpersonal Communication in Relationships

The truth can be a hard pill to swallow. It can be an uncomfortable reality that has a rough edge to it and many of us don't like hearing it, even when it comes from someone we love. This is why having honest conversations about our relationships can feel so hard.

We often become so comfortable with making excuses or denying things that aren’t going well in our relationship, that it’s almost become second nature. We get used to tiptoeing around certain topics, finding subtle ways to explain what we’re feeling without having to just come out and say it. But if we want our relationships to be successful, then we need to start having open conversations about them.

Having honest conversations about our relationships doesn’t just require us to be brave enough to speak our minds, but also requires us to be masters of communication. A conversation will not go as smoothly as it should without understanding how to use language correctly and effectively. To begin, we must start by being intentional about how we onboard people so we can establish an environment of openness. Letting your partner know what it is you expect and need from the start, sets the tone for the entire relationship. Make sure you let them know what boundaries exist in the relationship and what you will and won’t tolerate.

Be prepared. You can make sure the conversation runs smoothly, and you’re able to effectively express what you’re feeling, try to have a few points ready ahead of time and practice saying them out loud. Going over them before they can help reduce some of the emotion you may be feeling before the conversation.

It's also important to remember to listen as much as you talk, if not more. After verbalizing what you’re feeling and engaging in dialogue, make sure to really listen and understand what your partner is saying. Consider their feelings, think about the root of why they feel the way they do, which in turn could help you understand the problem better and lead to a better resolution.

Be transparent and direct, no euphemisms are needed. Speak in certain terms so each person knows exactly how the other one is feeling. Open and honest communication means being truthful about what’s really bothering you and not trying to brush it aside. Talk about it in all its glory, so you can both truly understand the impact it’s having on the relationship.

Be mindful of your nonverbal cues as well, your body language is just as important as your words. You don't want to come across as defensive or hostile, which can cause the conversation to veer off the path you wanted it to take. Pay attention to your facial expressions and your posture, an open and inviting posture encourages communication while folded arms give of an air of defensiveness.

The truth doesn't always have positive implications and it certainly can be hard to hear, but in order for your relationship to survive and grow, sometimes it needs to be said. With honest communication, real growth and trust can take place, and that is the key to any successful partnership. Utilizing effective and efficient communication techniques can make those hard conversations much easier.