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  • Paula Thompson
    Paula Thompson

    How do I tell my partner that I have a child from a previous relationship?

    As the sun set behind him, he stared silently at the horizon, the home he was almost certain he would never see again. He had finally mustered up the courage to tell his partner the truth; he had a child from a previous relationship. His fingers trembled, and his mind went momentarily blank, only for the words to come flooding back at once as he thought about how his partner would react to his revelation.

    He had kept it to himself for so many years; the pain, the guilt, the overwhelming sense of responsibility that came with the truth. He had known since the day he found out about his son, but he had never quite been able to bring himself to tell his partner; not until this day. He wished he had spoken sooner, but life has a way of making things complicated sometimes.

    How do you tell someone such news? Especially the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? How do you reassure them that nothing is more important than the present, and nothing will ever change the love they have for each other?

    The answer lies in being honest and open, though there may be some fear as to what the consequences will be. It could mean the end of a relationship before it begins, or just cause a moment of sadness and confusion. But ultimately, your partner has a right to know this information and have these questions answered.

    Start the conversation by explaining why you chose to divulge the information. Emphasize that you believe this will only make your relationship stronger, and that no matter what, your bond will remain unbroken. In addition, let your partner know that everything you feel for them has remained the same. Talk about how you were scared to tell them for so long, and explain the emotions that are still lingering from the discovery of this child.

    Offer closure by showing faith in the bond and the trust you share. Express the hope that you both can move past this hurdle, and focus on the love you have for each other. Allow them time for self-reflection, and talk about how it affects not only the two of you but also the child involved if your partner has any questions.

    Once you've laid everything out, offer your partner time to process your story and this newfound knowledge. Be aware that he or she may need some space to think, and don't pressure them into a response too quickly. one of the most meaningful aspects of relationships is the ability to be vulnerable and honest, no matter the difficulty of the situation. Showing respect and understanding is key to coming out on the other side together.

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