Decode Your Ambiguous Relationship

We have all been there. Has your connection gone deeper than friendship, is it an ambiguous relationship? Questions like these can be hard to answer and even harder to bring up in conversation. You don’t want to prematurely define the situation, nor do you want to overthink and overwhelm yourself. Authenticity and transparency should reign as your best tools when negotiating this new terrain. It is important to remember that communication is key here – without it, we are unable to get to the root of the problem, possibly leaving ourselves in a limbo of uncertainty tense with awkwardness.

There can be much at stake in these types of conversations, so it’s essential to learn how to handle them with kindness and honesty. Here are five tips for successfully navigating ambiguous relationships.

First, take a moment to pause and reflect. Before deciding whether to broach the issue with your friend or love interest, take some time to think about how you are feeling as well as try to put yourself in the other person's shoes. It could be worth your while to distinguish between feelings of love or lust, since concealing these feelings could make conversations difficult down the road. Honesty should be your priority - observe the way they are responding to you, so you can gain a better understanding of the bifurcation of emotions on both sides of the equation. Putting someone on the spot can make a beloved feel cornered and alarmed, so best give them outlet to demonstrate their own feelings.

Second, recognize that it’s OK to not have all the answers right away. Part of any healthy relationship is being able to successfully manage ambiguity. For example, a relationship could transition from friendship to romantic without openly agreeing to become an item. No one should be comfortable with premature labeling, and no one should expect complete clarity from the other. After all, life and love is never set in stone.

Third, stay calm and composed no matter the answer. Again, honesty is of utmost importance, and assurance should be anathema. Neither of you should attempt to lead the other into a desired outcome based on biases or expectations. All feelings should be shared in a non-judgemental space through a level-headed and open dialogue.

Fourth, remain mindful of the possible outcomes of the conversation. Be prepared for every response, as results may not always align with expectations. If any negative news arises or if the future doesn't paint the picture you'd hoped, be civilly understanding and realistic. Acknowledge and respect your own and the other’s opinion while maintaining mutual self-respect. The connectedness of an ambiguous relationship can fluctuate, meaning a slight misstep can leave one of you or both parties feeling uneasy.

Fifth, forget binary thinking. Binary thinking sets up our realities into two distinct categories – same or different, black or white, yes or no. But few things in life can be classified into one of two mutually exclusive categories. Keeping this in mind is key since it could be that neither of you would want your dynamic to veer too closely towards a traditional romantic framework. Maybe both of you are looking for companionship and an emotionally safe space. Maybe both of you desire something more, but neither of you has said it out loud yet. Maybe things just stay comfortable as is. This last proposition does not mean you are clinging to a dust-covered hope for a utopian relationship, but that your relationship is special and unique to your own circumstances.

Managing ambiguous relationships can be difficult, so communication must be viewed with frankness and sensitivity. By employing clarity, respect and poise, a consensual understanding can arise and pique both head and heart in a subject that may feel uncomfortable to confront. It is possible to discover a sweet relief in having one of life’s gray areas finally illuminated with a sanity-saving clarity.