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  • Paula Thompson
    Paula Thompson

    An Unequal Balance of Time and Love: Making a Decision in the Face of Unrequited Feelings

    Sometimes it can be hard to tell if the pain comes from love or just being in love. You may find yourself in a situation where you think you have met the ‘one’, but in reality you are on an unconsciously uneven journey, navigating an unexpected and unpredictable path. When you are in a relationship with someone and don’t get what you deserve, it can bring a great deal of distress and confusion to both parties—and ultimately a lot of heartache. In this case, it is often not just easier—but far better—to be single and know what you want, than to be in a relationship and not get what you deserve.

    Being single and knowing what you want allows you to focus on self-care and growth: to regain balance and perspective in your life, as well as taking time to nurture and assess your feelings. You will be able to more clearly recognize how important it is to attract people that reflect your core values, prioritize activities and relationships, and to recognize when reciprocity and mutual respect have not been established. It can help you prioritize what is truly worth investing time and energy into, ensuring that your time is not wasted on someone who does not value the same things.

    On the other hand, if you stay in a relationship without getting what you deserve, you could quickly find yourself in a viscous cycle with no rewards or achievements. In this case, it may seem easier in the short run to stay in the relationship even if it’s causing you pain. Afraid of being alone, or worrying about what others might think, or perhaps still harboring hope that the situation will change and the love will return. All of these factors can make leaving seemingly impossible, even when you know deep down that it’s exactly what you need to do.

    The consequences of staying in a relationship while not receiving what you deserve can be far reaching. Under stressful and demanding conditions, it can invariably lead to feelings of helplessness and doubt, a lack of self-expression, and an erosion of personal power. there is a risk of becoming disconnected from your own values and centers of attention, which can become significant obstacles to achieving greater levels of fulfillment and satisfaction in the long term.

    In order to break out of cycles of unfulfilling relationships, it is essential to create space for yourself to rediscover your power and choice. This may include reevaluating past decisions and getting familiar with your inner truth and passions. Setting boundaries so that your needs are respected and creating moments of honest introspection and expression are also key. Restoring a sense of balance, security and stability helps create an environment in which you can build a strong relationship rooted in a spirit of mutual trust and respect.

    Sometimes, realizing that it is better to be single and know what you want instead of taking the risk of being in a relationship and not getting what you deserve, is not easy. You may face periods of increased stress, emotional difficulty, and even inner turmoil—but it is crucial to find strength and recognition in the fact that you are making a conscious choice for your emotional health. In the end, staying with someone who doesn't fulfill you or respect your boundaries, is not the way to find happiness or live a life of fulfillment. Rather, it is allowing yourself the freedom to walk away, and embracing the wise decision of being single and knowing what you want, that enables you to remain rooted in the personal growth that often comes with being alone.

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