What To Do When Your Girlfriend Is Struggling With Problems With Her Parents

It’s a difficult but universal truth – the parent-child relationship is rarely perfect. Everywhere you look, from cartoons to plays to real life, there’s evidence of conflict between parents and their children. If your girlfriend is having issues with her parents, then you probably have an understanding of just how tough this situation can be. It’s only natural that you’ll want to do everything in your power to help her through it.

The first thing to remember is that your girlfriend is getting advice and guidance from her parents because they care about her wellbeing and safety. Even if the way they are expressing those concerns seems extreme or unreasonable, it’s important to remember that they think they’re acting in her best interest. That said, it’s also important to recognize that their advice is not infallible, and your girlfriend has the freedom to agree or disagree with it. Knowing that she is in control of her choices can provide her with a tremendous sense of relief – and quite possibly fuel for debate!

If you and your girlfriend decide to engage her parents in this debate, then brace yourselves; it may be a tough conversation. Remember, you are on the same side as her parents when it comes to looking out for her best interests, though you don’t agree on how to do it. Make sure you enter the discussion with open minds, respect for one another, and plenty of patience.

Once the tough talk is over, it’s time to address the immediate problem. Before doing anything else, help your girlfriend fully understand what’s motivating her parents, and what their ultimate goal is. Have her consider their perspective by asking questions like “What would they think is best in this situation?” or “What action do they think would help me most?” By seeing the situation from her parents’ point of view, she may be able to figure out a chance to make everyone happy.

Now comes the hard part. Even if everyone is theoretically on the same page, figuring out the right steps to take can be taxing. If your girlfriend is still intimidated by the actions she needs to take, offer her some moral support. Encourage her to come up with realistic plans and stick to them. Hold her hand during her daunting conversations with her parents – or if that’s too much, just listen and pass along words of encouragement. Your advice may help her move forward, even if it’s as simple as saying something like “You can do it!”

Help your girlfriend make her own decisions. Though it may be tempting to merely tell her what to do, it’s important to remember that she is the only one who knows what she truly wants. Praise her for her successes, troubleshoot her failures, and remind her that ultimately the decisions she makes are up to her.

Things might not turn out the way she hopes, but staying by her side throughout the whole process will prove to her how much you care. that’s what really matters - that you both know she can always count on you.