Strategies for Making a Long-Distance Relationship Work

Ahh, the ever-contentious yet alluring world of long-distance relationships. We talk of them freely, as if we’ve got it all figured out—the success stories, the horror stories, and all that lies in between. But what do the experts say? When it comes to figuring out if you should keep the flame burning, invest in a plan that could bring you two together, or take a sigh of relief and call it quits, things can get a bit more complex.

What may surprise you is that those who are in a long-distance relationship (LDR) agree that the time spent apart is not only necessary but also beneficial for their relationship to thrive. The physical distance gives them a chance to explore personal growth—spiritually, intellectually, and professionally—while still feeling connected and loved by their partner. This connection—the “we’re in this together,” which often manifests in video calls, text messages, and gifts being sent back and forth—allows each to feel like they both have an impact on each other’s lives, regardless of the physical space between them.

Now, when one is struggling to maintain a long-distance relationship, the importance of communication should not be underestimated. Because there is no physical interaction between the two, exchanging ideas and sharing moments become even more vital. The most important part is to explain how we feel about each other and the boundaries that keep our relationship healthy and thriving. Not being physically present, it is easy to forget that our partner has feelings too and requires honest communication from us. And at times, setting boundaries and laying down boundaries will be necessary.

It is also very crucial to talk about the future and make sure that each partner is on the same page. Before any couple commits to continuing their long-distance relationship, both partners need to be quite clear about what they want from the effort, and understand realistically if the distance can truly be bridged over time. Just because the current situation allows for time apart doesn’t mean either of them should get comfortable with the idea of never being near in person again. Our wisdom advice would be to determine early on in the relationship how long a period of distance is realistic, so that neither party loses hope or interest.

But that isn’t to say that spending quality time together cannot happen even while apart. Simply making each other a priority can help ease the sense of separation that may sadly linger in a long-distance relationship. Making end-of-day “check-ins” can be a great way to ensure that both partners take the time to connect each day, even when its just for a few minutes. Additionally, planning activities or events to look forward to—like group video calls, or doing hobbies together over video chat—can be an excellent way to stay linked under the circumstances.

Finally, making use of technology to bridge the gap between these two parties is a must. Social media, video chatting services and phone calls are great tools for those in an LDR; leveraging them regularly can help make the long, dry periods of separation more bearable. While all this may seem tiresome and scary, we believe, and we’ve heard many couples testify that it’s absolutely worth it.

In a long-distance relationship a couple must be prepared to work hard, communicate often, and make continuous efforts to stay together. Putting an exotic venue and a few rituals into place to stay connected and remind each other of the shared love can be great. Of course, strong relationships take time, patience, commitment, and energy—and even more so in an LDR. How close the two of you are very much depends on how strong these parts are, juxtaposed against the physical distance. If you’re up for the ride, whether it lasts months or years, we wish you the best of luck!