curlqueen

Maybe you are right but overall, I do not feel that I am avoiding real life dating. I have stepped away from the dating apps because those are just a nightmare for me, it seems I attract the married ones. And overall, I am enjoying my time being single, so I did not seek a cyber fantasy to avoid anything. I simply joined an app to help increase my Spanish as I will be committing to a Spanish course in the next month. But I do understand your statement about the catch-22, and I need to make sure I am being realistic and not falling into a cyber fantasy. They are so easy to fall into and that is why I need some advice about this whole situation. SO, thank you!

Everything you said is true and something I have pondered a lot. Like we can all be whoever we want online, and I will never truly know him until I meet him in person. He is a bit far, like it is not a weekend trip. I would at least need a week to go visit him. And at this moment I can not go until end of June. I am finishing up my last year of my degree program and then will have graduation and shifting into a new position at work, so I do not want to take time off until all of this is completed. I do have the means, but I never spoke to him about his financial situation. I value your points and I do believe it is okay to explore the interest as you said but I think that is as far as I should go until we meet and see each other in person. Thank you so much!

Excellent points made especially about him visiting me first. And to be honest, we have not discussed financial things, but we have discussed the possibility of visiting each other. But we never fully thought about a plan about when, who first or any of that. So, it is a great idea to bring it up and see about him visiting first. I am also not a fan of LDRs, I did one before, but it was a completely different scenario! We worked together on a cruise ship which is a whole different type of dating scene haha. And to be honest, I am not looking to meet someone at this point, but your suggestions are great and maybe in a couple of months I will look into them. Thank you for your advice and honest opinion!

Sorry, I am not sure which forum this would belong under, so I picked what I thought was best. I met someone through a language exchange app. My intent was not to meet someone because I feel long distance is so hard, and I am at the age where I want someone near. I have tried dating apps and meeting someone organically in my city, but with no success, so I am just enjoying my single life! So, over 1.5 months ago, this guy messaged me. And we instantly hit it off. We message each other every day, and our chats are just so easy. We talk about everything. His English is limited, and my Spanish is very limited. So, we do translate a lot of our convos. We do video calls, and when either does not understand something, we message and translate it. But neither one gets annoyed or frustrated. We somehow manage to enjoy each video call, and we spend so long on each call. It feels like I have known him for years. Truthfully, this is not the first person I have spoken to online. I have made other connections through the years with people around the world. And those who have done the same may understand me when I say that those connections never left me feeling like this. Those connections were like, wow, you are a great person; I would love to meet you one day. But it was never as a romantic connection; maybe there was a thought like perhaps we would go on a date, but nothing beyond that thought. That is why I am shocked at myself that I have developed these feelings for this guy. There is just something about him that has me so intrigued. And from what we have talked about, we have similar thoughts about life and shared interests. We both have expressed our feelings for each other. And last night he asked me to be his girlfriend. However, there is something that is making me question if his intent is genuine. Is he just asking that for fun, or does he mean it? I asked him if the distance was a problem, and he said for him, it was not. I am trying to be realistic and practical about dating someone I have never met because I feel a little stupid to say I am falling for someone online. But I have read a few stories about people meeting online and dating for months or a year or more before meeting in person. So, my question is for those that have found themselves in a similar situation: How did you open your mind to the idea of dating someone you never met? How did you openly accept them as your boyfriend/girlfriend? And how did you trust that they were not speaking to others? Or that they were not dating someone that lived in their area? Did you hesitate at first like I am, or did you just openly let it happen? And for those that have not: What are your views on ‘falling’ for someone you met online? Overall, I am just seeking some advice or tips from anyone! I feel that I am trying to keep my feet on the ground and not get lost in this fantasy world that can sometimes happen when speaking to someone online. But there is something about him that is different, like I feel a spark again in my heart which I have not truly felt since I ended my relationship over 5 years ago. I have tried to date but nothing was there, no spark, no feelings. It was more going on dates to try and see but nothing ever developed in my heart. Thank you so much to those who take the time to read and reply! I appreciate all advice or tips!