Think Like a CEO - Approaching the Climb

Excerpted from
How to Think Like a CEO; The 22 Vital Traits You Need to Be the Person at the Top
By Debra A. Benton

How near-perfect chiefs size up themselves, others, and life

Confidence for everyone unfolds over time and experience. Successes do help, of course. The first time you succeed in some arena your self-esteem may make you say, Well, that was just pure luck on my part. The second time you succeed in that same arena you will likely modestly conclude, Well, I guess luck struck twice. Finally, when you succeed three times, you realize, It must be due to me. Which is likely the truth.

Earlier I said act like you are secure. That is often the first step to actually becoming secure in yourself. Curt Carter, CEO of Mission Bay Investments, believes you have to act secure as well as be secure. (Surprisingly there are self-confident people out there who do not act self-confident.) Carter says, "Smile. Simply have a relaxed smile. If you are not smiling your competition will step on your neck." And he added, "Think of how wimps are portrayed on television-hunched over, no smile, shifty eyes. You can't look like that in business at any level."

The other extreme of being secure in self is people who act overconfident. They aren't. Those people are probably the most insecure and they overcompensate with bluster.

Sometimes people who are insecure make it to the ranks of CEO because they overcompensate so fiercely. "A lot of people who make it to the top lack confidence. They succeed because they work so hard overcompensating for their insecurity," says Dennis Wu, a partner at Deloitte Touche, L.L.P. But usually they don't last.

Duane Pearsall is an extremely mild-mannered, soft-spoken, self-assured person. He's largely given credit for the introduction of the first battery-powered smoke detector and development of the home smoke alarm industry. Some twelve years after founding Statitrol Corporation and expanding it to one thousand employees, he merged it with a major corporation. Since the use of venture capital contributed to his company's success and he did not enjoy the large corporate environment, he resigned to cofound Columbine Venture Funds, an institutional venture capital firm. He told me this story: "At one time in my career I reported to a very demanding executive who overcompensated for his lack of confidence with volatile arrogance. When performance figures slipped, the decibel level of his voice would increase and he would pound the table, sending the wrong message to many good, productive employees. After a particularly bad display I invited him into my office, reviewed the effects of his tirades, and told him I would not continue under this kind of management. He promptly apologized and promised to stop. The next month it happened again and I left. One week later he was fired."

You may question the need to emphasize being secure in yourself. You may ask, Isn't that a given if you're trying to climb the corporation mountain? You would think so, but you would also be surprised at how much of my time as a consultant is spent talking to managers, executives, and CEOs about their lack of self-confidence.

I'll never forget the first meeting I had with one CEO who founded an industry that he captains. He is known worldwide in top business circles, is the author of several books, and is philanthropic with his company's resources and his personal money. Almost every CEO in his industry admires the man's creativity, vision, and business savvy. Yet the first time we met, I walked into his office, closed the door, and, after we exchanged some pleasantries, out of his mouth came these words: "I'm rife with insecurities." I can assure you, I was taken aback by his candor and his comment. No one would suspect that of the man. He's only one example.

Daily I talk on the phone or meet with very accomplished people to discuss their professional effectiveness, and the conversations frequently steer toward something like, "Debra, I'm very comfortable and I deal well with people who work for me and with me. I have no problem. But people I report to and my boss's boss and his boss intimidate me. I just am insecure in dealing with those types."

If you aren't secure in yourself in dealing with anyone, anywhere, under any circumstances, you won't be able to deal with anyone, anywhere, under any circumstances. People have reason (or assume they have a reason) to believe in you if you truly believe in yourself.

Children are not born with self-doubt, they learn it. Wouldn't it be nice if as adults we operated like we did as children before we learned self-doubt? Remember: We wanted to do something and we tried it. If we failed, we tried something else. If we failed again, we tried something else. We didn't stop and think, I can't do this. We just tried something else. Until one day, when a parent, friend, sibling, teacher, etc., told us, "Well, you can't do that. You're a [pick one: girl, boy, black, Catholic, youngster, oldster, and on and on]." So we began to doubt ourselves.

Effective chiefs have found the way back to that "child" in themselves. They go on without self-doubt to face new challenges with enthusiasm and a secure feeling of adequacy.

Too many people have learned, either from dysfunctional family environments, counselors, teachers, ministers, bosses, or elsewhere, to have self-doubt and question themselves unnecessarily and unjustifiably. You have a choice to stop self-sabotaging thoughts or you have a choice to continue to sabotage yourself. You're in control of your attitude.