Does this constitutes stalking?

So little update regarding the guy on my last thread "what is his problem"

Today I was near his work place so I builded up the courage to walk into his work place and say hi.........

I wish I didnt. He was sitting with someone. It looked like a meeting. I showed my face. he smiled and said come in, I said I can speak with you,

He said wait- I waited about 5 mins outside then went in- then he told me wait.- waited another 5 mins and I decided to leave. I texted him "see you are

busy.... I wanted to ask you something .....no worries x"

An hour later I got what seems like pisssed/angery text......"cant you see I was in a meeting"

I just wanna die, I feel so humiliated and ashamed and a stalker.

I text him saying "I am so sorry it wont happen again ever!

I feel like I want to clear the air with him, I don't know what to do.

Maybe you should not have turned up at his work. I've read your other post maybe you should back off a bit clearing the air is not a good idea give hIm some space for the time being and let the dust settle

Maybe you should not have turned up at his work. I've read your other post maybe you should back off a bit clearing the air is not a good idea give hIm some space for the time being and let the dust settle

Thanks- I am quite impulsive person. And I get nervous and agitated if things don't go my way or I feel I've done something wrong. I need to learn to calm myself down even if I don't get any closure.

Not stalking, but very rude of you to show up at his work and expect to be seen. Especially when what you wanted to talk about was him not calling you back for a FWB meet up.

Learn some boundaries ---- one being, you don't interrupt someone at work for personal issues.

Not stalking, but very rude of you to show up at his work and expect to be seen. Especially when what you wanted to talk about was him not calling you back for a FWB meet up.

 

Learn some boundaries ---- one being, you don't interrupt someone at work for personal issues.

Thanks - I know. I already feel sh*t - I've been told off twice today.

Thanks- I am quite impulsive person. And I get nervous and agitated if things don't go my way or I feel I've done something wrong. I need to learn to calm myself down even if I don't get any closure.

Then this is something you need to work on!

As one matures into adulthood, impulse control is paramount.

Then this is something you need to work on!

 

As one matures into adulthood, impulse control is paramount.

At this moment I feel sick. The damage is done, I don't know how to mend it.

The thought of him seeing me as a crazy person sickens me.

Well, you need to let go of that --- because, as you said --- the deed is done.

You can't "mend it". Right now, further contact to apologize isn't necessary. He works in a restaurant, not an ER. However, perhaps this "memory"/feeling will serve as a catalyst NEXT time your impulse is to get answers NOW.

Just let it be.

Well, you need to let go of that --- because, as you said --- the deed is done.

 

You can't "mend it". Right now, further contact to apologize isn't necessary. He works in a restaurant, not an ER. However, perhaps this "memory"/feeling will serve as a catalyst NEXT time your impulse is to get answers NOW.

 

Just let it be.

Thanks - I was thinking sending another apology text - but I won't.

Do you think he thinks I am crazy?

I don't think he thinks you are as crazy as you think you are.

He just called me, I had the phone on my hand, I picked up so quickly.... He said hello, how are you are you, then said let me call you.

He just called me, I had the phone on my hand, I picked up so quickly.... He said hello, how are you are you, then said let me call you.

What? Perhaps something happened and he needed to end the call before it started.

Stop thinking this is catastrophic. It isn't.

Regardless of what happens with this guy, I hope you've taken this as an important lesson not to just show up at someone's work like that. Yes, it can scare people off but people also have work to do and may genuinely not be able to talk to you. It's just genuine courtesy. The only time I would show up at someone's work unannounced like that would be at close friend/family member/SO's work for a GENUINE emergency.

OP,

Just slow your roll and get busy with other things. Entertain yourself elsewhere and try to get you mind off of this situation. The fact that he called you back means he does not think you are doolally as you feel you are. Give him the space to reach out while you get on with your life.

What? Perhaps something happened and he needed to end the call before it started.

 

Stop thinking this is catastrophic. It isn't.

Thanks. I know it is not catastrophic, I just feel embarrassed. And the fact I picked up the phone in two rings adds to that. Then he says I will call you back in a min and that was an hour ago. He didnt.

He is at work. In a restaurant. It's lunch time.

Chill.

OP,

 

Just slow your roll and get busy with other things. Entertain yourself elsewhere and try to get you mind off of this situation. The fact that he called you back means he does not think you are doolally as you feel you are. Give him the space to reach out while you get on with your life.

From now on I am keeping my distances. I just wish I didn't feel like a crazy b*tch. A

He is at work. In a restaurant. It's lunch time.

 

Chill.

Ok I will try. Thanks.x

Regardless of what happens with this guy, I hope you've taken this as an important lesson not to just show up at someone's work like that. Yes, it can scare people off but people also have work to do and may genuinely not be able to talk to you. It's just genuine courtesy. The only time I would show up at someone's work unannounced like that would be at close friend/family member/SO's work for a GENUINE emergency.

Thats the biggest mistake I made so far in this situation. I hope he wont hold it against me. I knew this guy since 2012 so he is not stranger, hopefully that will count for something.

Wow, I think that was my advice to you? To show up at his work. Yeah ok it didn't go so well, but who cares.

But you know what I didn't like the most in his text. This. "Can't you see I'm busy".

Wow. Maybe you showing up at his work wasn't the best idea (sorry about that), but that text was ruder.

Thats the biggest mistake I made so far in this situation. I hope he wont hold it against me. I knew this guy since 2012 so he is not stranger, hopefully that will count for something.

Well, hopefully you learned from this and won't do it again in the future. I understand you're a bit impulsive, you just have to resist the urge to act on that.

i don't think this is about her being impulsive.

it is about her wanting more than the casual relationship they initially agreed upon.

he's not comfortable with op nearing or crossing into "girlfriend zone".

Wow, I think that was my advice to you? To show up at his work. Yeah ok it didn't go so well, but who cares.

 

But you know what I didn't like the most in his text. This. "Can't you see I'm busy".

 

Wow. Maybe you showing up at his work wasn't the best idea (sorry about that), but that text was ruder.

Yes! it was your idea! He is very straight forward person.

i don't think this is about her being impulsive.

it is about her wanting more than the casual relationship they initially agreed upon.

he's not comfortable with op nearing or crossing into "girlfriend zone".

I never was okay with my past SOs just "showing up" at my work to chat or whatever. It's a boundary issue. I think even if she were a girlfriend, it's inappropriate to just show up at his workplace unless they talk about it and he explicitly says that it's okay OR it's a genuine major emergency. I don't think this is necessarily okay for even serious SOs, nevermind casual relationships.

Yeah sorry about that.

Hey but you took a chance, it didn't go well, but he's acting like a jerk now. You are trying to set up this get-together and he's being rude. There is no other way to describe it. I would re-think your whole feelings towards him. Is he worth it?